Do people actually date anymore?

[Sharpie 3,306]

Dating at any age is difficult. At age 68 my husband of 39 year passed away. It was a difficult year during his illness. fortunately I had lapband surgery in 2013 and lost 70 lbs. It gave me the energy and mental ability to deal with his illness and I was able to care for him until he passed away. I had no intention to date or get romantically involved with anyone. Felt like I was too old . I went to the gym and helped with my grandkids and felt life was going to be a lonely time for me. I was invited to a charity poker club and started playing twice a week. I met a man who was single had been divorced for many years. We spoke some at the poker club , he asked one of the other guys if I was single. He asked me out to dinner and the next week was my birthday (70) he came and now we are together. He makes me feel so young and happy. I believe dating and being happy is about your attitude but you have to feel good about yourself first. If I had not had surgery and lost my weight, I doubt I would have had the courage to get involved with anyone. He knows I had WLS and is proud of me. He tells me I am beautiful every day. Keep working on yourself then get involved in a activity where you could possibly find someone special.

[GwennyPenny 108]

So sorry to hear that you lost you husband. It's awesome that you have let yourself be romantic again. I wish you both all the very best.

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[JadeVT 41]

On 9/21/2017 at 6:42 AM, StephersSweet said:

Haha aint that the truth, I am talking to one guy who seems very interested in talking about my surgery as if he's writing a paper on the subject matter or something, it was super embarrassing because we went out for our first date and he starts asking me about the surgery and what happens if I end up with lose skin. I wasn't used to someone asking so many questions about it beyond the dreaded "why would you do something so drastic when all you need to do is go to the gym" because clearly WLS is the "easy" way out. I'm not worried about finding anything yet, right now I am 100% focused on me.

Dude sounds like a lame. Drop him.

[BlueBongo 52]

So I'm about 2 years post-op, just turned 36, and I definitely concur with many people that you really want to get yourself centered, happy, and comfortable before getting out there. I moved to a forest town and adventure all the time (trail run daily and I wouldn't change it for the world!).

I recently started dating after a couple of years focused on me and now being happy and centered in my own existence... it really can be a challenge. I have pretty high expectations and definitely only date people that will positively impact my life.... and it really has been amazing meeting awesome people. Sure there are those that are looking for something different than I am, but for the most part still good people. I'm still single, but have made some pretty amazing friends in this new and wonderful active and adventurous lifestyle of mine... still wouldn't change it for the world!

You'll definitely have your pick and gotta find that person that can keep up with ya, when you're ready!

[Mattymatt 491]

On 9/20/2017 at 2:52 PM, StephersSweet said:

I don't know about the rest of you but we live in a world where finding love means swiping right and hoping for the best.

Hello I'm Stephanie, I'm 26 years old. I'm new to the site and would love to make some friends, text buddies, or pen pals.

So I'm what you would call Terminally Single, been that way for about 7 years now and I'm not sure it's ever going to change. It feels like the guys I'm into either A. don't want to be with a fat girl. B. are emotionally stunted, C. into weird fetishes (foodie/feeder I know I'm fat but that doesn't get my jollys off.) or D. Crazy, bat **** crazy.

Maybe I'm too picky, maybe I'm the crazy one, but I found it interesting to find this type of forum on this site. Color me intrigued!

I am 40 and single right now. Since I've been up and down in weight all of my life, I've only had two relationships and was only in love once. Certainly it would be nice to have the companionship and I can understand your want for it. It's hard for both men and women who are very overweight to date. I'm 6'4" and 170 pounds overweight which puts me at 360 some pounds and I can see the open disgust when I check out some chicks. I am not gonna lie, it hurts but I'm not bitter because I have some shallowness myself but I will never look at anyone who is overweight with disgust. If I were bitter, I would be hypocritical.

I am not even going to try to date until I work on myself: mentally, physically, and emotionally. 2018 is going to be the year that this will happen. Stephanie, I will wager that once you come through weight loss surgery you will be the classic knockout. You're beautiful now. I believe it is the woman whom ultimately chooses the man. You'll have your pick of the men and when you do, enjoy it a little bit. Enjoy being you. It's the greatest feeling in the world and it has only happened to me once in my life. It was the time after I lost a lot of weight the first time. I remember being "chosen" by a woman. At that time, it was one of the greatest feelings in the world.

Edited January 3, 2018 by Mattymatt

[ALFxRNY 540]

I’m 31 and single, have never dated in my entire life. However, I met a guy last year and we’ve been talking for almost a year now. He likes my weight but hates that my self esteem is so low. He wants me to do something about my health so that I will be happy but I have no intent of telling him I’m having weight loss surgery. I told him that I’m working on myself (true), I’m seeing a nutritionist (true), and that I was told my metabolism is really bad considering I’m obese and I don’t really eat (also true). I don’t know, just feel like my decision isn’t his business and that he would take issue with it. Sorry for the essay, lol, am I wrong?

[Mattymatt 491]

27 minutes ago, ALFxRNY said:

I’m 31 and single, have never dated in my entire life. However, I met a guy last year and we’ve been talking for almost a year now. He likes my weight but hates that my self esteem is so low. He wants me to do something about my health so that I will be happy but I have no intent of telling him I’m having weight loss surgery. I told him that I’m working on myself (true), I’m seeing a nutritionist (true), and that I was told my metabolism is really bad considering I’m obese and I don’t really eat (also true). I don’t know, just feel like my decision isn’t his business and that he would take issue with it. Sorry for the essay, lol, am I wrong?

This isn't an issue of being right or wrong. It is simply how you feel. If you don't want to tell him, then you certainly don not have to.

[336Mike 549]

I'm 43 and dating. If the person sends like someone I'd like to get to know more, I tell them. I don't want to get in deep with someone and they feel as if I've hidden a major item from them. The last thing I want is trust issues. That's one of the worst things for a relationship. If they have a negative reaction, then clearly they're not the person for me.

VSG 10/11/17 HW = 360 SW = 292 CW = 244 GW = 220 (6'5")

[CalGuy64 66]

Dating is a strange journey. My wife left me two years ago (at least in part because of weight issues). I tried to date but with next to no success. But once I got under 250 pounds (I'm tall) and posted new full body photos on my profiles I'm suddenly popular. Its nice to be able to get dates but somewhere in the back of my brain my suspicion that most people are shallow asses has been confirmed.

[Daveo 485]

On 9/20/2017 at 11:52 AM, StephersSweet said:

I don't know about the rest of you but we live in a world where finding love means swiping right and hoping for the best.

Hello I'm Stephanie, I'm 26 years old. I'm new to the site and would love to make some friends, text buddies, or pen pals.

So I'm what you would call Terminally Single, been that way for about 7 years now and I'm not sure it's ever going to change. It feels like the guys I'm into either A. don't want to be with a fat girl. B. are emotionally stunted, C. into weird fetishes (foodie/feeder I know I'm fat but that doesn't get my jollys off.) or D. Crazy, bat **** crazy.

Maybe I'm too picky, maybe I'm the crazy one, but I found it interesting to find this type of forum on this site. Color me intrigued!

I am so confused with dating now, seems like it's more of a hook up culture rather than those looking for a lasting relationship. Definitely difficult trying to find a serious relationship these days.

[dreamingsmall 1,125]

I dated the same guy for 21 years, never got married. Been single for 4 years now. Don’t plan on dating again.

How could you be okay with dating only for 21 years? I didn't know that was possible. But at least you don't have to waste your time divorcing so I suppose that's good

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[dreamingsmall 1,125]

Dating is a strange journey. My wife left me two years ago (at least in part because of weight issues). I tried to date but with next to no success. But once I got under 250 pounds (I'm tall) and posted new full body photos on my profiles I'm suddenly popular. Its nice to be able to get dates but somewhere in the back of my brain my suspicion that most people are shallow asses has been confirmed.

Not at all. It's not a shallow ass to not want someone who's grossly obese. It's like someone who wouldnt date someone with mobility issues like my self. I don't find them shallow asses as most likely they are looking for hiking partners and so on. Don't be bitter. Be happy your people's type and pick wisely. Don't hold that against people who didn't even know you when you were bigger. I'm not offended or bothered that people love my shape now. I mean I love it now too. I didn't find the fat on me attractive so how can I be offended that it's not someone else's cup of tea. I'm not at goal but I get attention alot when I'm out or online as if I was normal weight lol very strange

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