Emotional overload

[Draven298 5]

So after my second child, some 20 years ago, I started looking into gastric bypass surgery. I was 260 lbs at that point and never thought I would get that big. Over the years, I talked to many people who popped up in my life who had already had the surgery and not much positive info came from that. Between lose skin and Iron infusions that another friend had to have... I was scared. Now I am 386 lbs and what scares me now is walking to the bathroom and not being able to breath. Or people smelling body oder because it seems in possible to reach everywhere to get as clean as I need to be. I'm scared of dieing before my youngest is grown and him having to go live with a father he has never met that has little patience to deal with my son special needs. I'm scared of how unhappy I make my kids when they want to do things and I physically am to tired to get up. I am no longer scared of this surgery or complications nor am I scared of something so trivial in the grand scheme of things as loose skin. (Loose skin use to terrify me). I'm finally starting the process to change my life. I got my list on Friday and cannot wait to get started.my biggest concern I guess is making this all work without losing my job in the process. I still have to pay bills. I honestly wish I could get temperary disability until like 6 months after surgery so I could put all my focus on this journey. The one thing that is pushing me for change the most is my youngest son. He is going down the same path but at a much faster pace than I did. He is 10 years old, 4'8 and weighs 158 lbs. No matter how much we talk about my health and how food has limited my life, he doesn't seem to care. He will sneak food and gorge himself. After this surgery, there will be nothing in the house for him to gorge on. We all will have only healthy options available to us. He will be exercising with me and we will take the journey together. I am trying to include him in everything so he knows what's coming. I'm also going to do before and after photos for him too so that he will be encouraged. He helps me to put all fear aside because I have to do this for him too so he doesn't have to one day. Anyway, thanks for listening to me ramble. So many thoughts in my head and I'm keeping the surgery private for now in my life because I don't need any negative talk from those who don't understand. So, this is going to be my way for now, to dump my feelings. My kids know but they don't need to know all the emotional parts. I don't want them to be scared or anything. So thanks for listening.

[celticNgel 144]

Hey Draven! It seems like a lot of us are keeping our surgery secret, believe me I thought I was the only one until I came on this site! Lol you are a very brave woman to be doing this for your children, but I would caution you to do it for yourself first. Do it so you can run with your boy, ride bikes with your boy, teach him how to dance, and take walks with him. Think about the love and joy that will bring into your life! Believe me I've thought about mine for a long time and if I could get this done tomorrow I would get it done without even thinking about it, but of course I must deal with the dreaded Insurance Company. I'm not worried about loose skin as much as I am as fat as I am. Loose skin can always be removed, my heart can't take this overload! If I want to be here for my children and my grandchildren, I'm doing this thing, but mostly I'm doing it for me to finally love myself the way that I should be loved. I want to see myself in the mirror without rolls and rolls and rolls hanging off! I'm tired of feeling like a refrigerator on legs. So girl we're going to go through this thing together! We're going to become better moms together, better women together and better people together! I know that if I can show up for things I can be better! You have a great night and congratulations on your decision.

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[enigma_007 95]

Hey Draven! It seems like a lot of us are keeping our surgery secret, believe me I thought I was the only one until I came on this site! Lol you are a very brave woman to be doing this for your children, but I would caution you to do it for yourself first. Do it so you can run with your boy, ride bikes with your boy, teach him how to dance, and take walks with him. Think about the love and joy that will bring into your life! Believe me I've thought about mine for a long time and if I could get this done tomorrow I would get it done without even thinking about it, but of course I must deal with the dreaded Insurance Company. I'm not worried about loose skin as much as I am as fat as I am. Loose skin can always be removed, my heart can't take this overload! If I want to be here for my children and my grandchildren, I'm doing this thing, but mostly I'm doing it for me to finally love myself the way that I should be loved. I want to see myself in the mirror without rolls and rolls and rolls hanging off! I'm tired of feeling like a refrigerator on legs. So girl we're going to go through this thing together! We're going to become better moms together, better women together and better people together! I know that if I can show up for things I can be better! You have a great night and congratulations on your decision.

Sent from my SM-G930T using BariatricPal mobile app

It was really heart warming to read this thread. I wish us all a successfull journey.

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[enigma_007 95]

So after my second child, some 20 years ago, I started looking into gastric bypass surgery. I was 260 lbs at that point and never thought I would get that big. Over the years, I talked to many people who popped up in my life who had already had the surgery and not much positive info came from that. Between lose skin and Iron infusions that another friend had to have... I was scared. Now I am 386 lbs and what scares me now is walking to the bathroom and not being able to breath. Or people smelling body oder because it seems in possible to reach everywhere to get as clean as I need to be. I'm scared of dieing before my youngest is grown and him having to go live with a father he has never met that has little patience to deal with my son special needs. I'm scared of how unhappy I make my kids when they want to do things and I physically am to tired to get up. I am no longer scared of this surgery or complications nor am I scared of something so trivial in the grand scheme of things as loose skin. (Loose skin use to terrify me). I'm finally starting the process to change my life. I got my list on Friday and cannot wait to get started.my biggest concern I guess is making this all work without losing my job in the process. I still have to pay bills. I honestly wish I could get temperary disability until like 6 months after surgery so I could put all my focus on this journey. The one thing that is pushing me for change the most is my youngest son. He is going down the same path but at a much faster pace than I did. He is 10 years old, 4'8 and weighs 158 lbs. No matter how much we talk about my health and how food has limited my life, he doesn't seem to care. He will sneak food and gorge himself. After this surgery, there will be nothing in the house for him to gorge on. We all will have only healthy options available to us. He will be exercising with me and we will take the journey together. I am trying to include him in everything so he knows what's coming. I'm also going to do before and after photos for him too so that he will be encouraged. He helps me to put all fear aside because I have to do this for him too so he doesn't have to one day. Anyway, thanks for listening to me ramble. So many thoughts in my head and I'm keeping the surgery private for now in my life because I don't need any negative talk from those who don't understand. So, this is going to be my way for now, to dump my feelings. My kids know but they don't need to know all the emotional parts. I don't want them to be scared or anything. So thanks for listening.

I feel the same. Ive only told mt sisters abt the surgery for the same reasons. I know ppl can be judgemental but dont forget ull need a support system after surgery. Support groups are available ..talk to ur surgeon to find one in ur area. Im still in the very early stages and i relate very much to what ur saying..as im experiencing the same emotions n thought

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[Nina K 19]

I originally didn't want to tell anyone about my surgery but I decided to choose family and friends to tell. I have had 100 percent support from everyone. People will surprise you. I'm now 6 months out and everyone now knows I had gastric bypass surgery. I didn't think I would get to this point but it feels good that people know. Too many people had so many questions. So now it's out there. I actually just feel good about it. I have only had one guy who gave me negative support and he's not in my life anymore. So many people will be so happy for you and that you decided to get healthy for yourself and your family. Good luck to you!