ahsleeve 9 Posted September 16, 2017 (edited) Hello all, I am going to be sleeved on Tuesday (19th September 2017) and I found myself on this website this evening creating a profile... I suppose I am on here for some support and guidance, but also because I thought it might help center my own thoughts about my journey to 'have to' type it out. Mini therapy, I guess. I also couldn't find - maybe I was being lazy - too many people sharing their journey with my sort of stats, so many I will be helpful to some younger, female patients on the 'light' side of the scale in terms of what to expect etc. We are all in this together! VITAL STATS Age: 26 Height: 159cm or 5'1" Weight: About 86.5kg, or 190lbs - I will verify this and put it on my signature when I am weighed pre-op. Female Location: Australia, home for the operation but I live in London, UK. Surgery + Date: Gastric Sleeve 19/09/17 JOURNEY TO NOW I suppose I always had a bit of a problem with my weight. I have certainly gone through periods in my young adult life where I was slim. The trouble for me, I suppose, is that I have an identical twin sister who has always been slimmer than I have (maybe 5-7kgs) and, as such, I have always subconsciously felt like the 'bigger' twin. My twin is tiny - she is now about 20kgs lighter than me and it really gets me down. She lives in Australia still and I am in London, but imagine living with a 20kg lighter version of yourself! Someone who is exactly like you but 25% less weight. It can be hard, although she is really supportive. I am a really emotionally stable and rational person, but I have self-control issues and I emotionally eat. In the last 2.5 years, I have gone through 2 serious break-ups. The first was with my boyfriend of on-again/off-again 9 years...and the second was with a man I loved possibly more. I turned straight to food and alcohol (which I seldom drank prior) to forget the pain I was feeling and to be able to get on with work. Over this 2-2.5 year period, I have gained about 25kgs. I remember being 62kgs at Christmas 2013, and when I was weighed a month or so ago at the surgeon's office I was 86.6kg. To say I was devastated was an understatement. Although I admit I have self-control issues, I certainly have it within me. I guess I would classify as an 'all or nothing' person; I can easily eat and eat and eat, but when I reallllllly get on a roll with a diet, I am the type to be able to starve myself. This has lead in the past (over 10 years) to yo-yo dieting and I have tried it all; starvation, Protein Shakes, exercising, duromine/metermine pills...really anything. Sometimes it has worked, sometimes it hasn't. My mother has been overweight my whole life and although she doesn't have diabetes, her mother did. I live in a family of eaters and providers, and I see patterns in my own behaviour that mirror my mother. My mother was a very attractive woman in her youth - she is still attractive now actually - but I do not wish to see the same health and aesthetic issues she has repeated in my own life. I find myself not wanting to go out and socialise because I have nothing to wear; my clothes don't fit and I always tell myself I should lose weight before I buy more...I say no to outings, I hide away and eat. I am embarrassed about my weight - I hear myself telling people that I 'put on weight recently' and over-compensate for it by saying how I used to be slimmer....I go shopping and I don't even bother to look at perfectly normal, lovely clothing because I seem to have subconsciously (or otherwise) decided that I could never wear something like x, y, z. All of this might seem extreme given that I seem to be less overweight relative to some people on this forum - but I am sure these are issues we all share to varying degrees. Also, I am so short and small in frame that my weight is probably largely as evident as others. All in all, I suppose I subconsciously 'decided' I was chubby years ago and have become obese as a result. It is such an unhealthy pattern. GOALS First goal: get under 80kg. Second: get under 70kg. I want to take it as it comes. But, longer term: to be 60kg or under. 55kg would be ideal. 60kg would be great, too. NSV: Throw out all the old clothing I have been wearing to cover up - aka my 'fat' clothes. NSV: Buy size 28 jeans for comfort, like I used to. I am currently in a 32 of the same jean. To be honest it's really hard to write my goals as I have not yet even conceptualised this working! It has been so long since I lost weight and felt good that I can't even remember....perhaps I will work on the goal list later! I'm also gonna post some headless pics....I think that will help me... Anyway, this is a start. I have an appointment on Monday to see the Dr and take bloods...then it's straight to it on Tuesday. Wish me luck! Edited September 16, 2017 by ahsleeve 2 bmxmama2 and GeTnBackuP reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
eleni1965 7 Posted September 16, 2017 Prayers for you. You'll love making this decision. Take care and keep posting your progress . I'm new here too and I can use some inspiration [emoji120] Elena Farah 2 GeTnBackuP and bmxmama2 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ahsleeve 9 Posted September 16, 2017 Prayers for you. You'll love making this decision. Take care and keep posting your progress . I'm new here too and I can use some inspiration [emoji120] Elena FarahThanks Elena! When is your surgery? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ahsleeve 9 Posted September 16, 2017 (edited) PHOTOS Top is tonight and bottom is 2014...the last time I was sort-of happy with my figure. I suppose I was about 63kgs in those days. Edited September 16, 2017 by ahsleeve Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SuperDave 1,115 Posted September 16, 2017 I'm not female, I'm not young (47), and I didn't start on the lighter side, I was 450 pounds. But I'll chime in anyway! Really, the fact that you realize there is a problem and are ready to make a change is a huge part of the battle. I was sleeved almost 3 years ago. It was hard. There were times I questioned if I had made the right decision. But 3 years later I would not change a thing. I lost more than half of my self, 265 pounds. Everything in life is better. My social life, family life, professional life and even sex life has all improved drastically. It's not because I'm different, I am still the same person. It is because I see myself different. I don't use my weight as an excuse to not be my best. Just jump in and don't look back. It is 100% worth it. Best of luck to you! You have got this! 4 ProudGrammy, bmxmama2, ahsleeve and 1 other reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingsmall 1,125 Posted September 16, 2017 I am 26, but I would not consider myself young lol so that is interesting. Goodluck I hear lighter people do not lose as fast ( some do) but this is what I have been told, I am maybe 10+ weeks out and honestly i feel every slow move ha but i am so happy with my choice i can wait to see were i am in a year, goodluck 2 ahsleeve and bmxmama2 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ahsleeve 9 Posted September 17, 2017 10 hours ago, SuperDave said: I'm not female, I'm not young (47), and I didn't start on the lighter side, I was 450 pounds. But I'll chime in anyway! Really, the fact that you realize there is a problem and are ready to make a change is a huge part of the battle. I was sleeved almost 3 years ago. It was hard. There were times I questioned if I had made the right decision. But 3 years later I would not change a thing. I lost more than half of my self, 265 pounds. Everything in life is better. My social life, family life, professional life and even sex life has all improved drastically. It's not because I'm different, I am still the same person. It is because I see myself different. I don't use my weight as an excuse to not be my best. Just jump in and don't look back. It is 100% worth it. Best of luck to you! You have got this! Thank you! I am glad to hear it has had a positive impact on all aspects of your life...I think that's the key for me - maybe I am not yet in the risk category for all manner of horrible health issues (although heading that way fast!) but it is in the other areas of my life that the lack of self esteem and confidence has really caused havoc. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ahsleeve 9 Posted September 17, 2017 7 hours ago, dreamingsmall said: I am 26, but I would not consider myself young lol so that is interesting. Goodluck I hear lighter people do not lose as fast ( some do) but this is what I have been told, I am maybe 10+ weeks out and honestly i feel every slow move ha but i am so happy with my choice i can wait to see were i am in a year, goodluck I wouldn't consider myself young anymore either! I suppose maybe I was wrong and there are many people on this forum in my age group making this choice! So many people when you are in your 20's just say 'go for a walk, stop eating!'...as if it were that easy when you know you have THIS much weight to lose! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingsmall 1,125 Posted September 17, 2017 2 hours ago, ahsleeve said: I wouldn't consider myself young anymore either! I suppose maybe I was wrong and there are many people on this forum in my age group making this choice! So many people when you are in your 20's just say 'go for a walk, stop eating!'...as if it were that easy when you know you have THIS much weight to lose! Its nice to feel we have made this change nice and early instead of waiting 20 years because we have tried to listen to doogooders who know it alls advice Its an exciting process. Emotional and full of ups and downs but so so so worth it! If you want to ask anything please feel free, i am pretty new under 3 months post sleeve. 2 bmxmama2 and ahsleeve reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LetsDoThis! 20 Posted September 18, 2017 I am 26, but I would not consider myself young lol so that is interesting. Goodluck [emoji4] I hear lighter people do not lose as fast ( some do) but this is what I have been told, I am maybe 10+ weeks out and honestly i feel every slow move ha but i am so happy with my choice i can wait to see were i am in a year, goodluck [emoji4] Age IS all relative but I did chuckle to your "don't feel young".... I just turned 39 & I BARELY remember 26 🤣 I didn't get what all the "old ppl" were talking about.... til I was one of them [emoji87] kidding. Sort of. That's all. Hope you have a great day tomorrow! [emoji4] - No idea what I'm doing but I'm here! 2 dreamingsmall and ahsleeve reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ahsleeve 9 Posted September 18, 2017 So....today I met my doctor for the first time - surgery tomorrow! I live in London so I organised everything in Australia remotely. I saw my doctor and a surgeon in London, then spoke to my GP in Australia on the phone and was referred to my surgeon here. It made more sense to come home in terms of insurance, but mostly because my recovery will be so much easier and more comfortable at home with my family. Gotta love being waited on hand and foot! Anyway, it has made my process fairly hectic and rushed...but I did like my surgeon today so that was something. He doesn't have much of a bedside manner....but I guess he was comfortingly straight-forward in his approach. It is currently 7pm...I am admitted tomorrow at 12.30pm. Fasting from 8.30am. He told me that I will be in hospital for 3-4 nights....is this normal? It's going to be fairly bleak I think! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Berry78 4,261 Posted September 18, 2017 2 nights in hispital are typical, so you should be feeling pretty good by time you get home! Good luck! 1 ahsleeve reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ahsleeve 9 Posted September 18, 2017 Up in the middle of the night before. Feeling pretty nervous!! I don't know why in a logical sense.It is probably because my family are really conflicted about it and nervous about it all. Perhaps my will of Iron is flailing a tad....I'm sure nerves are normal. 1 Berry78 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BooBee66 104 Posted September 18, 2017 Yes nerves was Norma for me but it was all worth itSent from my LG-K373 using BariatricPal mobile app 1 ahsleeve reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nurse77 3 Posted September 18, 2017 Good luck to you my friend. I am also scheduled to have my VSG tomorrow (9/19/17) 1 ahsleeve reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites