I'm hiding my surgery from family anyone else ?

[confusedturtle3 246]

I had this same fear and wondered what to do since my Roux en Y was on Oct. 19th this year. I just had a 50th surprise party here at the house for a friend and no one even noticed I was walking around and not eating. I had my favorite wine glass filled with Water and some fruit - a strawberry, blueberries, orange slice - to look pretty and people were more interested in why I had the pretty glass than what was in it. One person asked why I wasn't drinking wine and I told them it was my house and I wanted to be on my best behavior . As it turns out, I had a hiatal hernia that needed repaired. Doc found it when he did my WLS. That's been helpful to use - google it, maybe it will work for you as an excuse, at least in the beginning. AND before I had surgery i did do some food intolerance testing to see if there were things I continue to eat that are not helping me. I found out some new stuff - allergy to wheat which I've known and intolerance to all dairy, green Beans, asparagus, ginger, cinnamon, to name a few. I've told people truths - just not the whole truths - about why I'm looking thinner these days.

When asked about my weight loss I plan to just say I changed my diet and I’m exercising. Those will be true I just won’t add the part about the surgery. I usually just sit and talk to everyone, I will have to get up and walk around while “eating”. Hubby said he would happily help me. He said to get a plate full of food and just push it around the plate, when he finishes his he will discreetly trade plates with me [emoji16]


Have a great day!
Amanda [emoji16]
HW 248 CW 241 Surgery Date: pending 11/21/2017. Goal weight 150’ish [emoji23]

[Rainbow_Warrior 996]

5 hours ago, kidchick said:

green Beans, asparagus, ginger, cinnamon

My worst fear would be to find out that I was allergic to these four or garlic, mushrooms, avocados and onions.

[SummerShadow 27]

On 9/11/2017 at 3:58 PM, mzsantiago88 said:

I'm not telling my family that I am having surgery, is anyone else here doing the same ?

I'm estranged from most of my family, all but for my kids and grandkids. My kids know, but I don't talk about it. My husband knows of course, but that's no help, sadly. I don't have a support network other than him, but I'm not telling anyone else I know. It just feels private, you know? Especially to tell people I don't know very well. My life has been nuts till now, kind of still is, so I don't have any real friends. Moved too much, was isolated for many years (long story). And i don't want a ton of negativity coming my way.

[Polly Pocket 83]

Now that I think back, I do remember putting a gallon size ziplock baggie in my purse in case I needed to hide food when nobody was looking. I had the same concerns as you.

Sent from my XT1635-01 using BariatricPal mobile app

Great idea! [emoji4]

[jls99660 11]

I didn't want to tell my parents, particularly my mother. I heard about my weight issues all of my life. I have lost and regained over 100 lbs. twice. When I did tell her, she couldn't understand why I needed surgery when I had lost before. Didn't seem to acknowledge the loss was always temporary. Anyway, she knew my mind was made up and hasn't bothered me about it. Ironically, she has been trying to get my brother to have the surgery and he has no desire. I like this thread - seems we all share many things in common, including family drama!

[Sherry Rice 184]

This is exactly me except I'm a male and don't need a gyno. I woulda told nobody but they make u tell your support person. I just don't think it's anybody's business. I've always been known as a Gym guy I just let **** get out of hand the past 5 years cause of some shitty breakups and relationships I had. I'm on day 10 post op down 12 lbs already and 44 lbs total. It's all about you now so tell whoever will make u feel comfortable.

Sent from my SM-G935T using BariatricPal mobile app

I totally get it Bill. I was in fitness competitions and let it go when I lost 3 loved ones in a short period of time. But.... that was then, this is now and we are getting back to it. I didnt tell people either. I feel like its so intensely personal


5' 5"
HW: 259
CW: 234
GOAL: Healthy and hard 140-ish?

[Travelher 915]

On 10/31/2017 at 5:39 PM, confusedturtle3 said:

Thank you@TheNewMrsR @Rainbow_Warrior I appreciate the help. I may have to use the giant ziplock bag and moving the food around the plate things. They are Filipino so they will notice every bite that I don’t eat. I would prefer not to tell them but I will if I absolutely have to.


Have a great day!
Amanda
HW 248 CW 241 Surgery Date: pending 11/21/2017. Goal weight 150’ish

you could do the old hernia repair story. need to eat purees while it heals. Ulcer? bring your Protein Shakes too. you will need to supplement protien. I like chocolate premier with a shot of Decaf espresso.

[WildcatGirl71 81]

I'm estranged from most of my family, all but for my kids and grandkids. My kids know, but I don't talk about it. My husband knows of course, but that's no help, sadly. I don't have a support network other than him, but I'm not telling anyone else I know. It just feels private, you know? Especially to tell people I don't know very well. My life has been nuts till now, kind of still is, so I don't have any real friends. Moved too much, was isolated for many years (long story). And i don't want a ton of negativity coming my way.

I know your story... I’ve lived it too. No close friends other than immediate family. We live 2500 miles away from my family now so it’s just me and my husband and as much as he tries, he just doesn’t get it. Has never had a weight issue so it’s going to be rough. I haven’t told anyone either other than my mom, dad, sister & husband. He has been instructed to not tell anyone (especially his family!) I just don’t think it’s anyone’s business.

[confusedturtle3 246]

you could do the old hernia repair story. need to eat purees while it heals. Ulcer? bring your Protein Shakes too. you will need to supplement protien. I like chocolate premier with a shot of Decaf espresso.

That is exactly how I drink my shakes [emoji177] I make a double expresso (10 ounces) and combine with 2 caramel Protein shakes. I drink that over a 5 hour period as my Breakfast & snack. I’m going to order Torino peppermint mocha Syrup (I think they had sugar free) and will start using chocolate shakes once it gets here. Last night I drank one as hot cocoa and it was so good. I didn’t think about telling them I had an ulcer, that would probably work too. Thank you [emoji16]


Have a great day!
Amanda [emoji16]
HW 248 CW 241 Surgery Date: pending 11/21/2017. Goal weight 150’ish [emoji23]

[Sherry Rice 184]

Wonderful progress! I am sorry about your car accident. That’s terrible. I have some pretty horrible nerve damage in my hands and feet that makes it very difficult to walk. I found swimming laps to be incredibly helpful and so easy on the joints. My gym also has a wall of Water weights that can be used in the pool too. When I began exercising, I couldn’t take the pain of being on my feet so I swam and swam. If you’re doing real laps at a good pace, it’s a serious workout! I also really like the elliptical. For some reason, the elliptical is much easier on the joints than even the treadmill. At first I thought it was just easier for me, but my trainer said that most people find the elliptical to be easier on the body than any other machine. So, I bought one for home and use it all the time.

That was a really long way of saying, once you’re cleared for exercise, you might consider swimming and/or the elliptical and see how those make your knees feel.

Also, I was able to get a “medical membership” to my gym. All I needed was a note from my doctor saying I needed to work out. This caused my gym membership to go from $50/month with a $50 sign up fee, to only $15/month and $0 sign up fee! It also included a free fitness assessment and a free introduction with a trainer. He took me around to every machine, showed me how to properly use them and helped me build a workout routine suited to my physical limitations. It is an amazing program that I wish everyone had access to.

You might check your area to see if they offer something like this. If there’s a gym that’s associated with a hospital near you they are much more likely to have this type of program.


As of October 12, 2017, I am 4 months post op and have lost 100 pounds. I have reached my goal weight and could not be more ecstatic!

Hi there, what gym are you a member of and what state do you live in? I never knew there were "medical memberships". Thats awesome! Im allowed to start walking Saturday and lifting the week after that 🤠


5' 5"
HW: 259
CW: 234
GOAL: Healthy and hard 140-ish?

[HealthyandSlimmer 0]

Me too!

[FlikschiK 14]

Telling my Mom was the hardest! I was more nervous about that thank the surgery! I just told her tonight and I have 17 days till surgery. She is a worrier! She took it ok not happy but ok!

[Taylor5 98]

My husband and 2 kids know (19 & 26). Oh, and my sister-in-law, but only bc my husband told her. She's a nurse, and also Extremely opinionated, so I was waiting for the onslaught of tsk-tsking and advice. But, after getting over the shock that I'm having it done in Mexico (another reason I'm not spreading the news, too many naysayers on that as well), she finally agreed it sounded like I had done my homework and wished me luck. Hubby and kids are being really supportive, but no one else in my family has ever had a weight problem, nor do they see me struggle every day w/all of my health issues, so they just won't get it. Best of luck to you!

[valegirl 2]

I feel the same way Taylor5