I'm hiding my surgery from family anyone else ?

[NicolaJanes 0]

I am not telling a soul. The only 2 friends I would consider telling are in different countries right now so I dont want them to worry unnecessarily. I will probably tell them post op as they will question it over christmas time.

My mum was about 400lbs and lost it all naturally when I was about 1 years old. Ive been obese since I was 4 years old (now 25), we arent close, everytime i see her the first and last thing is always about my weight and the fact that my sister is much prettier, happier and more successful because she understands looks matter. I will never understand how she herself can be 400lbs up until the age 32 and has done nothing but nagged and ridiculed me when she knows exactly how it feels to be that overweight and how it doesnt help to be constantly reminded you are lesser because of it.
In her mind all the negativity towards her is what fueled her to lose her weight so I guess she is doing what she thinks is best or thats what Id like to believe anyway haha.

Wls isnt as common in the UK I dont think, so I guess there is a lot of stigma with something unknown. I know alot of obese people but I dont know anyone personally that has had or considered having wls.

So like alot of other people her, Im probably having hernia surgery [emoji23][emoji23]

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[NicolaJanes 0]

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[NicolaJanes 0]

My family knows, but my in-laws do not. I don't want to hear it. I only need positivity from now on.

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The local indigenous people were considered vermin by the British military and the transported convicts.

Unlike the white New Zealanders, we subjugated the indigenous people and usurped their traditional lands and never made a treaty. From 1770 to 1967, we considered all Aboriginal Australians non-human. A referendum in 1967 conferred the right of indigenous to be counted in the Census(es) every five years from 1971-on.

In NZ, a Treaty in the 1920s established shared rights that the whites/British/Europeans could stay on with the blessing of the Maoris/Polynesians/NZ-indigenous.

No Thanksgiving here in Australia as the poor black/brown Australians have nothing to give thanks for. A near-genocide took place here and resistors were shot and/or hung from trees and/or drowned.

White Australians have a VERY black history here totalling 229-247 years.

Scratch most white Australians and you will find a deep vein of active or dormant racism.

I have just got back to the UK after a whv , I spent a year in Darwin and must agree that white australians (as a whole) are the most rascist and homophobic people I have come across in 3 years travelling.

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[Rainbow_Warrior 996]

25 minutes ago, NicolaJanes said:

I am not telling a soul. The only 2 friends I would consider telling are in different countries right now so I dont want them to worry unnecessarily. I will probably tell them post op as they will question it over christmas time.

The joy of the yuletide ... finding out a best buddy received an all-time best chance for xmas.

I envisage applause and many, many questions.

[Rainbow_Warrior 996]

4 minutes ago, NicolaJanes said:

I spent a year in Darwin and must agree that white australians (as a whole) are the most rascist and homophobic people I have come across in 3 years travelling.

Yeah, scratch a white Aussie's skin and there's every chance he'll/she'll start with, "I am NOT a racist but ..."

It's an evil scourge.

At times, it makes KKK extremists look a bit tame.

[CrissCriss 97]

I hidding just not telling anyone is that the same thing as hidding? lol Anyway my husband, mom and sister knows

[willowwaters 25]

Yes, I am in a way. I am telling them I have another Fibroma removed. Less questions, and believable. I juat don't need their judgmental ways!

[Starsmore 60]

Is it bad to say that I regret telling one of my friends? Just feeling super judged about it. I told her at the consideration point, and it looks like it's all green lights from here, but I haven't told any of my friends that I've actually been scheduled. We're all "big girls," but they are super set against surgery. I've tried my other options and they haven't panned out...I guess I'll have to wait and see if this surgery cause me to lose more than the weight I'm carrying (but my parents and my sister are my close support system, along with a very understanding boss and former boss).

[angel3670 1]

They will know after such fast weight loss.

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[CBBP 44]

I only told my mom, bf, and significant other.... And I'm regretting telling my mother; honestly.

Less than 24 hours; I am nervous, determined, inspired, and hungry!!
HW 251 CW 236 GW 160

Good luck! It will be fine I'm sure. Let us know! I weigh similar to you and need to lose a similar amount. Will be sleeved beginning January. Have only told closest friends who don't judge. One has been sleeved and will help me all the way. Good to have friends.

[Finnix 104]

I told only one person and, still, only that one person knows. And honestly, I wouldn’t have told that person if I hadn’t needed the help post surgery. There were a few reasons I chose not to. 1. I didn’t want the “but why don’t you just diet” comments. 2. I didn’t want the “it’s the easy way out” comments and 3. Honestly, I was afraid of failure and, in case I failed, I didn’t want anyone to know. Luckily, I have been successful but I still don’t tell anyone. I just don’t want to hear it.

Actually, I did tell my gynecologist. Before she knew, she was so happy and congratulating me on my weight loss. Then, when she examined me, she saw the scars on my tummy and asked what I had done. When I told her I had WLS she said, “oh. I thought you actually worked for it and did it on your own.” Ugh!!! And THAT is why I don’t tell people. I HAVE worked for it!

But other people are more open and tell everyone and that’s okay too. I would just be careful and really consider ahead of time how you might feel when people make these snide comments. Some people don’t care. But others can be hurt and derailed by them.


As of October 12, 2017, I am 4 months post op and have lost 100 pounds. I have reached my goal weight and could not be more ecstatic!

[Killian 265]

14 hours ago, angel3670 said:

They will know after such fast weight loss.

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Certainly hope so! However, for me personally, I just retired and joined the local adult swim club. I can easily chalk it up to all the swimming I have been doing PLUS being able to eat more healthy at home and not like crap at work.

[Starsmore 60]

3 hours ago, Finnix said:

I told only one person and, still, only that one person knows. And honestly, I wouldn’t have told that person if I hadn’t needed the help post surgery. There were a few reasons I chose not to. 1. I didn’t want the “but why don’t you just diet” comments. 2. I didn’t want the “it’s the easy way out” comments and 3. Honestly, I was afraid of failure and, in case I failed, I didn’t want anyone to know. Luckily, I have been successful but I still don’t tell anyone. I just don’t want to hear it.

Actually, I did tell my gynecologist. Before she knew, she was so happy and congratulating me on my weight loss. Then, when she examined me, she saw the scars on my tummy and asked what I had done. When I told her I had WLS she said, “oh. I thought you actually worked for it and did it on your own.” Ugh!!! And THAT is why I don’t tell people. I HAVE worked for it!

But other people are more open and tell everyone and that’s okay too. I would just be careful and really consider ahead of time how you might feel when people make these snide comments. Some people don’t care. But others can be hurt and derailed by them.


As of October 12, 2017, I am 4 months post op and have lost 100 pounds. I have reached my goal weight and could not be more ecstatic!

How rude!!! I would have no issues during that gynecologist and finding another. I had a recent visit with mine and he asked if I had tried anything to lose weight; I informed him that I was in the process of getting approved for surgery and he was super supportive of that. It's awful that a health professional would have a negative attitude about something that can improve so much of your life!

[CBBP 44]

I told only one person and, still, only that one person knows. And honestly, I wouldn’t have told that person if I hadn’t needed the help post surgery. There were a few reasons I chose not to. 1. I didn’t want the “but why don’t you just diet” comments. 2. I didn’t want the “it’s the easy way out” comments and 3. Honestly, I was afraid of failure and, in case I failed, I didn’t want anyone to know. Luckily, I have been successful but I still don’t tell anyone. I just don’t want to hear it.

Actually, I did tell my gynecologist. Before she knew, she was so happy and congratulating me on my weight loss. Then, when she examined me, she saw the scars on my tummy and asked what I had done. When I told her I had WLS she said, “oh. I thought you actually worked for it and did it on your own.” Ugh!!! And THAT is why I don’t tell people. I HAVE worked for it!

But other people are more open and tell everyone and that’s okay too. I would just be careful and really consider ahead of time how you might feel when people make these snide comments. Some people don’t care. But others can be hurt and derailed by them.


As of October 12, 2017, I am 4 months post op and have lost 100 pounds. I have reached my goal weight and could not be more ecstatic!

Hi Starsmore,

It was funnily enough my gynecologist who suggested the operation to me a year ago. That started me searching and finding out what it all was about. When I told her in September that I'll have the operation beginning January '18 she was thrilled and very supportive.

I'm sorry to hear that yours was not. I hope you can find another gynecologist. No need to stay with someone who isn't supportive.

And congratulations on the amazing result! Brava! Big cheers.[emoji122] [emoji122] [emoji122]

[Starsmore 60]

37 minutes ago, CBBP said:

Hi Starsmore,

It was funnily enough my gynecologist who suggested the operation to me a year ago. That started me searching and finding out what it all was about. When I told her in September that I'll have the operation beginning January '18 she was thrilled and very supportive.

I'm sorry to hear that yours was not. I hope you can find another gynecologist. No need to stay with someone who isn't supportive.

And congratulations on the amazing result! Brava! Big cheers.

Not me, thankfully! I think you're looking at the quote I used from @Finnix I'm still preop, but I hope to acheive the success she has for sure!