I'm hiding my surgery from family anyone else ?

[KIP-MI 42]

At first that was my stance too. I was only going to tell my mother, sisters and husband. I too was worried about unsolicited advice. My closest friends are also larger folks. As a team we've dieted together...become supports...checked in with each other and that really worked...until we stopped. LOL. When I mentioned I was going to look into Bariatric Surgery they weren't the same supportive team anymore. "The easy way out". WTF. How is this easy? I'm 6 months into my 6 month pre-surgery hoops for insurance. I've never worked out this much...EVER. And, the real work begins after the surgery. Easy? Cheating? Hell no! Anyway, so I decided to tell more people. Surprisingly most has been incredibly supportive! I also share how hard I'm working to prepare for the surgery. Easy...ha.

[Meguone 72]

Yeah, not so much as hiding, just not telling certain people. My three kids know, my husband is my biggest supporter, a friend in London, my hair dresser and the nine people I was in class with. When people see me after the summer I'll just be smaller, and well tell them that I changed my diet and exercise, which is what we are doing. They don't need to know about surgery. It's none of their business. And no, there is NOTHING easy about this, at all.

[Macy Gray 50]

On 9/11/2017 at 5:07 PM, Killian said:

I am not telling my family either. My wife knows but no one else. Really not in the mood for well-intentioned yet ill informed advice from the family. Even if the flip side is correct and they full support me 100%, I dont want it to be a constant topic of conversation. Other people thrive on support from family and friends and that was works for them. But for me, this forum and my wife is all the support I want.

100% agree.. im not telling anybody not even my closest friend

[general_antiope 189]

People knew i had the lap band because I was an evangelist, loved it, lost 100 lbs in 8 months. After 13 years of problems and revisions, I'm not telling a damn person except my husband and mother...because my mom is getting sleeved at the same time, across the country, so we can support each other. In fact I'm telling work that I'm getting my hernia repaired to explain the time off and liquid diet. I no longer care what anyone else thinks. I want this for me.

Edited September 27, 2017 by general_antiope

[BunnyJean 123]

7 hours ago, general_antiope said:

People knew i had the lap band because I was an evangelist, loved it, lost 100 lbs in 8 months. After 13 years of problems and revisions, I'm not telling a damn person except my husband and mother...because my mom is getting sleeved at the same time, across the country, so we can support each other. In fact I'm telling work that I'm getting my hernia repaired to explain the time off and liquid diet. I no longer care what anyone else thinks. I want this for me.

good for you! Isn't it nice to have someone very close to you experiencing the same thing? what a great support you and your mom will be for each other!!

[Tiamka 34]

On 9/24/2017 at 0:44 PM, jdomain said:

Hi, I have my first consultation on Tuesday. My family doesn't know (they would be against it, I know) and my husband is against the whole procedure. Feel so alone in this journey.

Definitely not alone! We are all here for you! Please feel free to send me a message at any time.

[Tiamka 34]

On 9/24/2017 at 2:52 PM, Rainbow_Warrior said:

On 9/24/2017 at 1:03 PM, mzsantiago88 said:

my boyfriend has recently started making rude remarks

And you are staying on with this demoraliser, this non-supporter? If he "doesn't play on your team", so to speak, he should be dropped from the playing roster.

Agreed!

[itzmoni 4]

I feel the same way. I don’t feel that my family will be very supportive. Only person that knows is my husband.

[Meguone 72]

15 hours ago, Tiamka said:

Definitely not alone! We are all here for you! Please feel free to send me a message at any time.

Not alone, there are a bunch of us here is you need to talk. <3

[FlyFatA$$Fly 155]

My wife and I both had vsg one month apart, and have kept it secret. We were already losing weight on our 6 month pre op diets. So no one has noticed our post surgery weight lose.

[mzsantiago88 145]

And you are staying on with this demoraliser, this non-supporter? If he "doesn't play on your team", so to speak, he should be dropped from the playing roster.

He's slowly throwing himself off the ledge and that's that lol no pun intended

[mzsantiago88 145]

My wife and I both had vsg one month apart, and have kept it secret. We were already losing weight on our 6 month pre op diets. So no one has noticed our post surgery weight lose.

Wow that's great I love the team work [emoji1373][emoji1373]

[mzsantiago88 145]

I feel the same way. I don’t feel that my family will be very supportive. Only person that knows is my husband.

At least you know that there are so many others like us making a private choice and happy about it

[Sherry Rice 184]

I have decided not to tell my sons.

[LillieDuFran 127]

18 hours ago, mzsantiago88 said:

I feel the same way. I don’t feel that my family will be very supportive. Only person that knows is my husband.

I felt like that when I made the decision in September. As my surgery approaches (10/5) I decided I'd best at least let my oldest daughter know (she's kinda jr. mom) in case something went awry (based on my other health issues). She was AMAZING & supportive; so I talked to the baby girl (33), and she was too. The other two children (who are 41, 35) are not "feely" kids, and so no conversation, although among themselves I'm sure they will.

My husband is wonderfully supportive & encouraging, and as I've gotten more comfortable , my closer friends now know. So lots of support where I rather thought I'd be on my own a bit. Grateful for good friends & family.

AND for all of you here. You guys "get it"