Still struggle with binging mindset

[Monasmle 90]

I used to binge eat a lot before my bypass. I hadn't struggled with that since the surgery, but 5 months out it is rearing its ugly head. All afternoon I wanted a sheet cake, a whole sheet cake. For about 3 hours I was back and forth on whether I was going to resist the impulse to stop and get a cake on my way home. I got up from my computer, went for a walk and ran through a short meditation session. It helped, but urge was still there, just looking for the zoned out feeling I used to get when i binged.
I've been working with a therapist and i kept hearing her voice in my head. Do you really want it? Don't deprive, but listen to your body, not your mind.
I was hungry, but i also wanted the cake. One issue at a time. I went to the store and picked out an Atkins frozen shrimp scampi meal and 6 shrimp from the deli, because my mind still thinks I can eat that much. I got two peaches and a packet of thin slice dry salami. Then I went to every pastry in the bakery, and nothing looked good enough. On my way to check out I saw a bag of Cheetos and grabbed that too. All in all a ridiculous amount of food.
I came home and told myself I can have everything, just as long as I eat my shrimp first.
3 shrimp in, game over. I have no room for more of anything. And my cake craving is gone. I am so happy to have my pouch!!
At month 5 my hunger is back, so this month has been a struggle in general. The fear of stretching my pouch, backsliding into bad habits, gaining the 85lbs back, but if I follow Protein first, stop when I'm full, and the process seems to work.
Trust the process, this is going to work!
HW 310 SW 299 CW 224

[Yettid 67]

I used to binge eat a lot before my bypass. I hadn't struggled with that since the surgery, but 5 months out it is rearing its ugly head. All afternoon I wanted a sheet cake, a whole sheet cake. For about 3 hours I was back and forth on whether I was going to resist the impulse to stop and get a cake on my way home. I got up from my computer, went for a walk and ran through a short meditation session. It helped, but urge was still there, just looking for the zoned out feeling I used to get when i binged.
I've been working with a therapist and i kept hearing her voice in my head. Do you really want it? Don't deprive, but listen to your body, not your mind.
I was hungry, but i also wanted the cake. One issue at a time. I went to the store and picked out an Atkins frozen shrimp scampi meal and 6 shrimp from the deli, because my mind still thinks I can eat that much. I got two peaches and a packet of thin slice dry salami. Then I went to every pastry in the bakery, and nothing looked good enough. On my way to check out I saw a bag of Cheetos and grabbed that too. All in all a ridiculous amount of food.
I came home and told myself I can have everything, just as long as I eat my shrimp first.
3 shrimp in, game over. I have no room for more of anything. And my cake craving is gone. I am so happy to have my pouch!!
At month 5 my hunger is back, so this month has been a struggle in general. The fear of stretching my pouch, backsliding into bad habits, gaining the 85lbs back, but if I follow Protein first, stop when I'm full, and the process seems to work.
Trust the process, this is going to work!
HW 310 SW 299 CW 224

Your post gives me positive affirmation that wls will help with my binge ing. Awesome work having a plan in place because as we know, wls doesn't change
our heads! Go girl!

[whitmac 45]

Thank you for sharing ... u are not alone.

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[fruitandveggies 456]

Yay, that's awesome! I also had extremely bad BED before my bypass. I read everything on the topic, listened to every podcast, went to multiple therapists, but I just wanted that numb feeling you get from a binge more than anything else. By the way, if you haven't read Brain Over Binge by Kathryn Hansen, do it--it's a game changer!

Just the other day I found myself buying stuff for a binge (albeit much, much smaller amounts). One of my faves was a giant box of tater tots from the Whole Foods hot bar. I got some, got to my car and started chowing down, not using the the bite timer I usually do when I eat. Well at about tater tot 6, I got so incredibly sick I had no desire at all to eat anymore. The idea of eating more was actually infuriating at the moment! I don't usually dump, but if I eat too fast I get very nauseous. And that's one big thing about BED--you eat really fast. I'm hoping that this feeling will stick around long enough to train me to hate eating that way (I'm 7 months out).

I love your technique of eating your healthy food first and then seeing what happens...going to try that, thanks!

[Kevsmama 6]

Thank you for telling your story. I am only 1 month after my surgery. Everyone tells me I am doing great, so my mind tells me I can eat something that I know is bad for me. It's hard not to give in.

[MCE1205 47]

I've had impulses too and have attempted to act on them (by eating something sweet) but the physical body can't do it. Instead now I'll have a bite of cake or a bite of s great Pasta dish and that's it, I'm satisfied and I'm done. I think I'll always have the "old" impulses but we can no longer eat as much.

[blondie66 271]

Wish i could say that binge feeling is gone forever but it's not. It will come back so it's best to learn to normalize your eating so that when it does happen you can't eat as much. And exercise has to be a way of life if you want to keep weight off - just from my experience that and eating regularly not grazing.

[Little Green 583]

Great post, @Monasmle! I really appreciate you sharing how you got through that struggle. I totally understand the feeling you were having during that 3-hour back and forth with yourself. Oftentimes I experience this around lunchtime b/c I used to eat fast food lunch every single day and of course I am pre-op so if I wanted to I definitely could eat it, no problem. I fight with myself and end up waiting hours to eat until I am finally hungry enough that nuts or cheese or yogurt sounds tasty lol. I think I'll try to incorporate your tactic next time.