I regret this surgery

[QueenTiff 153]

I had a few terrible days in the last two weeks since my surgery on 8/16. Crying on and off all day, that sort of thing. I think most of these bariatric programs don't really emphasize how hard it will be during early post-op. They'd do us all a better service by speaking plainly on that subject, with the encouragement that eventually it will get better. Perhaps they're not that good at it because most docs and nurses in these programs haven't had the surgery and have no emotionally-internalized understanding of what our bodies and minds must manage.
Like most people here, food was the center of my coping and pleasure, and so now I have the monumental task of rebuilding my emotional wiring to seek that elsewhere. Of course that upheaval will cause panic and despair -- but faith in the long-term results is what has to sustain people like you and me. We have no other choice now.
You're not alone, you're not abnormal, and I get where you're coming from. My best wishes to you on this difficult portion of our long journey to better health!

You are right no nurse or doctor has been through the procedure to truly know how it feels to go through this mentally physically or emotional so it's like a speech they memorize to try to make you feel at ease when really all these classes and stuff they make you do teaching you about the surgery they should focus on the emotional end of it. And thank you best wishes to you too


Tiffani[emoji1528][emoji757]️[emoji175]

[ChelleBelle35 21]

4 minutes ago, QueenTiff said:

Yes I believe the support groups really help and this forum. Without it I think I would still be crying.


Tiffani️

Me too! I felt exactly the way you described. I could have written it myself.

[Lkbiowa 5]

I SO hear you and am sorry things are so hard right now. I am 2 weeks post and you are right, there's something really intense about the reality sinking in that we can't eat things like we used to. food for me was an event. It was how I connected with people and celebrated life. Having 2-4 bites of something doesn't even feel like I ate it. It's very surreal and hard to explain.

And we are all going to have our own challenges and feeling post op. I honor yours and am glad you shared. It's not all roses. This is hard stuff.

Oh, also, I went for my 2 week check up and they cleared me for bathtub and swimming. She made sure my incisions were just about healed, but she said it's totally fine.

Hope things get better for you!

[QueenTiff 153]

Me too! I felt exactly the way you described. I could have written it myself.

Definitely girl


Tiffani[emoji1528][emoji757]️[emoji175]

[QueenTiff 153]

I SO hear you and am sorry things are so hard right now. I am 2 weeks post and you are right, there's something really intense about the reality sinking in that we can't eat things like we used to. food for me was an event. It was how I connected with people and celebrated life. Having 2-4 bites of something doesn't even feel like I ate it. It's very surreal and hard to explain.
And we are all going to have our own challenges and feeling post op. I honor yours and am glad you shared. It's not all roses. This is hard stuff.
Oh, also, I went for my 2 week check up and they cleared me for bathtub and swimming. She made sure my incisions were just about healed, but she said it's totally fine.
Hope things get better for you!

I'm so jealous people get to go swimming my surgeon said they look good but he never really mention the Water or anything so I'm gonna ask a different nurse


Tiffani[emoji1528][emoji757]️[emoji175]

[Sullie06 1,013]

I think a bit of remorse is part of the healing process. That idea of having to let go of something we loved and depended on for so long, it's like losing a loved one in a way. I too had my fair share of remorse early on, especially in the weeks following surgery but it got better once I started soft solids. Just being able to sit down with my family and eat what they were eating, albeit a very small amount, made me feel leaps and bounds more like myself. Those first 3 months were the hardest, I wanted so badly to jump back into my normal life but then I would end up in social events that involved food I couldn't eat but wanted to so badly and I would feel I ruined my life. Or I would awkwardly eat my pureed lunch at work and feel like everyone was staring at me or I would be standing in an aisle of the grocery store obsessively counting calories and being terrified of eating the wrong thing. I thought it was a mistake because I was healthy (fairly) before and being 300 pounds wasn't so bad because I carried it well right.....WRONG.

It does get better and this new life is so amazing. I'm under 200 pounds for the first time in my adult life. I fit in better in social situations because I eat very similarly to my girlfriends instead of being the only one to clear her plate. I am more active, my body feels better and looks better and my lab work was perfect. The struggle in the beginning is worth the reward of a new you in the end. Also I can literally eat anything. I still enjoy my favorite foods in moderation. I still eat burgers (without the bun), I still eat pizza (1 slice vs. 4 slices), I ate a donut this weekend at our local Cider Mill and 1 was enough, I used to eat a whole bag. Don't eat food that is bad for you all the time but don't think it can never happen again. There may be things you find you need to avoid but that is different for everyone and you will discover what works for you and maybe find new favorites along the way (Hello Brussels Sprouts).

[Véronique 238]

15 hours ago, QueenTiff said:

I'm so jealous people get to go swimming my surgeon said they look good but he never really mention the Water or anything so I'm gonna ask a different nurse


Tiffani️

Well, I know that my surgeon's practice says nothing about swimming per se but it does say that I can't bathe until at least one week post-op, as I had my surgery laparoscopically. If I had open surgery, I would need to wait six weeks.

[BigViffer 3,544]

The thing to worry about in regards to swimming pools is the bacteria and all around nasty crap people do in the Water. If you still have healing surgical scars, you shouldn't be near a pool for risk of infection as well as tainting the water.

The same goes for going to the gym. Gyms are terrible for germs and bacteria and not a place you want to be immediately post op.

[QueenTiff 153]

The thing to worry about in regards to swimming pools is the bacteria and all around nasty crap people do in the Water. If you still have healing surgical scars, you shouldn't be near a pool for risk of infection as well as tainting the water.
The same goes for going to the gym. Gyms are terrible for germs and bacteria and not a place you want to be immediately post op.

I'll be 4 weeks out Monday so basically a month and yeah I know. It's just a place for me to workout and have a good sense of emotion but I get you


Tiffani[emoji1528][emoji757]️[emoji175]

[Véronique 238]

7 minutes ago, BigViffer said:

The thing to worry about in regards to swimming pools is the bacteria and all around nasty crap people do in the Water. If you still have healing surgical scars, you shouldn't be near a pool for risk of infection as well as tainting the Water.

The same goes for going to the gym. Gyms are terrible for germs and bacteria and not a place you want to be immediately post op.

Precisely, this is why I'm not returning to my gym until one-month post-op just to be safe.

[QueenTiff 153]

Precisely, this is why I'm not returning to my gym until one-month post-op just to be safe.

When did you get sleeved



Tiffani️

[Véronique 238]

2 minutes ago, QueenTiff said:

When did you get sleeved



Tiffani️

Tuesday.

[QueenTiff 153]

Oh you're still early


Tiffani️

[Joann454 1,329]

Buyers remorse indeed. I had that same moment of breaking down and crying in my kitchen. My husband soothed me and told me I could do this and comforted me. I didnt realized how much food truly consumed my life. I ended up telling my surgeon and getting involved in a local support group and that has helped. So has this forum. Knowing others have felt what I have felt, and pushed passed it.

I had no idea how much I used food when my emotions were raw. I truly didn't. It was quite an eye opener.

[voluminousdoofus 5]

Hey @QueenTiff-- I'm two weeks out tomorrow and everyone I know who's had this has had the same kind of period that you're going through. It'll pass! In the meantime, remember; you made a life-saving decision! For every one of us who chooses to go through this, how many don't? You made a choice for a healthier, better life.

In the meantime, this is what's working for me (YMMV)

-Take walks as you can (I find that walking has the double effect of clearing my mind AND exhausting me).

-Have something to do you've never tried before (I have a couple of canvases and some paint).

-If you're too sore to do much walking, pick a good series and watch it. (Not food series, those're the ones giving me problems right now).

-Hit Water and Protein goals, every day.