Need help... daughter 16 & 300lbs

[JOYCE13 0]

My daughter is 16 and has just told me yesterday she wants the band. I have no problem with this. It will be her father. She wants to go to the jr prom in June of 2008 has even found a dress, not her size.

Can you help me in what I could say to him to convince him this the the best thing for her. :help:

My mother who is 500+ lbs thinks she is too young.

My feeling is she should do this. Why wait till she needs meds, and continue to gain. Let's make the rest of junior and senior year better for her.

What changed her mind about the band was seeing the "Before & after pics" I think it was the one of Puddin.

Thanks

[coltonwade 27]

Wow I think that would be a tough one . Just because i know how some people can be about the band. Will your husband go to a seminar with you and your daughter ? Are you going to do this in the US or Mexico ?

I think the best approach would be to educate him , inform him as much as possible about this. I cant remeber her name ... there is another 16 yr old on the boards who had the surgery and she's done AMAZING . Maybe you could get some info from her parents ?

education I think is the best approach .

However, being that she is 16 I think its very important that she understands what it is going to take and she is commited to the band.

There was a teen here in Austin that wento to Mexico got the band but i dont think her or her mom were realistic about any of it .

so i think its important to make sure she knows what sh'es getting into .

HTH

Mindy

[Chris_NJ 9]

There is a young woman in the before and after thread who is 16. Maybe she could help you.

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f17/before-after-pictures-pix-only-4642/index68.html

IMO I say go for it. I wish I had it when I was 16. I would have been a lot happier.

[JOYCE13 0]

Her name is Jessica. I am not sure if he will go. His insurance is bc/bs. He is a respiratory theripst. The surgery would be done at Mountainside Hosp in New Jersey.

Thanks Cris & Mindy

[coltonwade 27]

If he is a respritory therapist i would think he would want to educate himself about the procedure. Maybe he can get some opinions from doctors or other health care professionals he trusts. I use to work in the health care field and generally speaking health care people want to learn more about health issues that they do not know about . SO you might want to approach it that way with him ? Ask him to speak to people he knows , trusts and works with .

Ask him to at least go to the consults and seminars and listen .. And worst comes to worst have her wait until she's 18 OR do it with out him ! LOL

Mindy

[JOYCE13 0]

We have been divorced for 5 years now. I can usually ask him for anything for Jessie and he will say yes. This I will have to approach diffrently and have all the info ready to answer his questions. And explain the health benefits. Or do it with out telling him. lol

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

Wow, this is a hard one.

I'm all for younger people getting banded. If they are 16 and 300# there is clearly a problem. But I think it depends on the kids individually to be honest. Some kids are very mature and more than ready to make the huge lifestyle changes. Some kids are going to cave with peer pressure and eat all the wrong foods at parties and such and the embarrassment of PBing could be problematic not to mention the health issues.

At the same time it seems as though kids that are 300# don't have the same kind of social life as their thinner peers.

Do you think your child is mature enough and capable of making the HUGE and MASSIVE lifestyle changes necessary to have a band? Are you banded by any chance yourself? Are you super familiar with it?

I only know of two kids that were banded, one was in Canada and one in Mexico. The kid from Canada is great, she's a gem. The one from Mexico I am not as familiar with but I know how to reach her Mom. Do you want me to see if I can get her to come to the boards and chat with your daughter? I think she's 14 or 15 now. She was banded about a year or so ago.

I agree with you, if the child is ready and capable of dealing with it then now is a much better time vs. later when she has joint damage, heart problems, diabetes, etc.

If your ex is in medicine he already knows the health risks for obesity and the health improvements with weight loss. Do you think he'd be willing to spend any amount of time here? This forum pretty much shows the good, the bad, and the ugly of banding.

Is she having any obesity related health issues yet? Anything at all such as back pain? How about an inability to participate in school activities? What is her social life like? Is she dating? Any prospects for dating?

I feel so bad for her, I can only imagine what it must be like to be in her shoes during HIGH SCHOOL. That's such a hard time anyway, to be a big girl in school must really be difficult.

(((HUGS))) to you for wanting to do something for your child!!!

[jetti 2]

joyce

have you already picked a doctor? I am in your area of NJ and researched a few doctors so if you need any help just ask!!

[JOYCE13 0]

WASa, I really think she could handle it. I am not banded yet but will be as soon as I get my medicare problem taken care of. I have been researching since May of 07, I have gone to two seminars, the dr's eaxm the nutrition appt, and I have been here since June.

She is already having problems with her knees. She does have many friends all thin. She is not dating. But, there is this one boy she really likes, and is in every class always online or texting. I feel he can't or won't ask her out because of her weight.

I was overweight in school but, not as much as Jessy. So I know how hard it is for her.

Thanks

[JOYCE13 0]

Jetti,

Dr, Carl Strom

Who was your doctor?

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

WASa, I really think she could handle it. I am not banded yet but will be as soon as I get my medicare problem taken care of. I have been researching since May of 07, I have gone to two seminars, the dr's eaxm the nutrition appt, and I have been here since June.

She is already having problems with her knees. She does have many friends all thin. She is not dating. But, there is this one boy she really likes, and is in every class always online or texting. I feel he can't or won't ask her out because of her weight.

I was overweight in school but, not as much as Jessy. So I know how hard it is for her.

Thanks

I don't know Medicare's requirements, once your Medicare issues are straightened out will you be able to be banded quickly or is it a long drawn out process? The reason I ask is that maybe if your ex sees how well you are doing that might encourage him to want the same for your daughter?

Also, might not be a bad thing for your daughter to see what you go through to make sure she is willing to do what it takes to make the band work.

[JOYCE13 0]

It could be very quick. That is something to think about, that way she can see this is for life.

Thank you

[jetti 2]

joyce

I am not banded yet but I have my consult with Dr. Bertha on Oct 17th. his was the 3rd seminar I went to and I felt he - as well as his entire office - was the best that I have talked to. his office is in Florham Park but he operates out of St Clares or Morristown which are further then the other hopsitals but I didnt want to choose one of the other doctors because they operated at a closer hospital.

[JOYCE13 0]

Thanks Jetti

[mrspruett 0]

Maybe if you point out to your ex that the excess wt will most definitely shorten Jessica's life.....not to mention lessen the quality of it. I do know that if I had had the option of getting the band when I was in high school, I would have. I think my mom and dad would have agreed too. They saw how much I struggled to fit it, although I kept much of the ridicule a secret from them. I have only recently began to share some stories with my mom ( I am 45) from my high school years. Some I have completely blocked out from elementary and middle school.

I would research this with my daughter and maybe include her dad if you all are on really good terms. Invite him over and go through the research. Maybe Jessica could share with him some of the problems her obesity is causing her-both phycically and emotionally.