Need help... daughter 16 & 300lbs

[jetti 2]

no problem

if youre still looking to research the procedure or doctors check out the seminar help by dr bertha and dr abkin. that was the third one i went to and i thought i was going to be VERY bored but it was fun and they has lots of great info on the band - both previous seminars i went to had more focus on gastric bypass.

[lauren0728 0]

Well joyce, i will be honest with you, im 19 and i self payed. My mom was very supportive and to behonest, i didnt tell my dad! I told him when i got home. I told him that i wasnt sure how he would react so i told him i was going to a seminar and i cam back with the surgery! when he asked why i didnt tell him i said i didnt know that he had a opening and i figured why wait?! lol. i know its lying but if this makes my quality of life alot better i would not want to wait any longer than i have to.

Good luck

[JOYCE13 0]

Mrspruett, I will point out the health proplems he does know some of them since he is alsoover weight has high bp and diabeates. Yes we are all on good terms.

Thanks

[stinaNYC 0]

Hi Joyce...wow, what an amazing daughter you have to have the strength and fortitude to want to make this kind of a change in her life at this young an age! Good for her, and good on you for being so supportive!

If I may offer a suggestion...my surgeon, Dr. George Fielding at NYU Medical center, is *amazing* at explaining the benefits of the band to parents for their children. He's performed band placements for teens many times before, both here in the US and abroad, and I really feel like he'd be a fantastic person to speak to your husband about the pros and cons of being banded this early in life. He's very blunt and straight-forward...he doesn't beat around the bush.

WHatever happens, I hope your daughter lives a wonderful and happy and healthy life!

[JOYCE13 0]

She does not want to wait either, with jr prom comming up. There is also alot of competition with her and my 14 year old neice. Who is 5'7 1/2 and 118. And the dating and parties. I want her to feel good about herself.

I want her to enjoy a long and healthy life.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

Isabella!!! That's the young Canadian girl's name that I think you should talk to and have your daughter talk to her.

I'll send a PM to her with the link to this thread.

She's a gem, you'll love her! I promise!

[JOYCE13 0]

Thanks wasa.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

And she's on line now too! :eek:

[Isabella 4]

Getting the band has been the best choice of my life so far... I researched this about a year ago and decided that it would be right for me. I want to live a long healthy life and get control of my weight before i develop serious health commplications. This was something that i researched, my parents knew nothing about it until i got all of the research together, videos, pictures, diagrams and interviews with surgeons and presented it to my mother. She didn't think it was a good idea but i knew that this is what i needed to do and i wouldn't stop until it got done. Next, was my father, hardest one to convince by far. He is the traditional hard-headed Italian man who is successful in business and presenting this idea to him was very hard for me to do. I made him come with me to speak to the surgeon and after a few months i convinced him to sign the papers.

Convincing the surgeon to do this surgery on me is another story. At first, the answer was "no" when he heard my age... the age for getting this done is 18. After having numerous talks with him and his partner, they realized that this was solely my idea, not my parents.

This is something that your daughter really really needs to want to have done. This will change her life around for the better but it will also be very challenging. Adapting to the band isn't easy, especially being a teenager.

I had this band done when i was 15 years old, January 25th at the TLBC in Toronto. I was not "too young" to get this done, as i've heard from others before. I am solving my problem before it gets worse and threatens my life.

Make sure your daughter knows and understands this band inside out before having it done. She also has to know what to expect... she is going to have to work with this band, it is simply a tool. It will not do all of the work for you...

If your daughter or yourself would like to talk with me, i'm more than happy to do so.

[JOYCE13 0]

Isabella, I will make sure she understands that the band is a tool, too help her. And that this is life changing.

Your right, the hardest part will be her father.

Thank you so much.

You look great.

[Isabella 4]

She does not want to wait either, with jr prom comming up. There is also alot of competition with her and my 14 year old neice. Who is 5'7 1/2 and 118. And the dating and parties. I want her to feel good about herself.

I want her to enjoy a long and healthy life.

Joyce, this choice should not be based on wanting to be skinnier for dating, parties, high school, prom or looking as good as a family member. Sure it would be nice.. but this decision is more serious than that. You're a great mother, wanting your daughter to feel good etc but this has to be her decision solely. Don't let, you're wanting her to have this procedure.. influence her decision. Your daughter should be on here, in the forums aswell, asking questions... not just yourself. As i said before, this is a major lifestyle change and she has to want this more than anything else in the world in order for her to be successful.

[JOYCE13 0]

What started her wanting the band was telling her that I was going to have it done. At first she did not want me to do it.

Then a couple of weeks ago I was on and she starded to talk to me about it and I showed her some of the pictures in the before and after thread. I was doing this to ease her fears about me. And since then she has been asking questions.

And comming on this site with me. Yesterday she told me she wanted to have it done.

I just why she wanted this. She told me that of course she does want to be thinner, she does not want to take medication for high b/p as her father and I do and the diabetes medication her father and grandmother takes. And have the veins like I have in my legs.

If she still wants to do this I will make sure she understands. If at any time she changes her mind, thats fine. She has to do it for her not anyone else. But, if she continues I will be with her all the way.

[Isabella 4]

What started her wanting the band was telling her that I was going to have it done. At first she did not want me to do it.

Then a couple of weeks ago I was on and she starded to talk to me about it and I showed her some of the pictures in the before and after thread. I was doing this to ease her fears about me. And since then she has been asking questions.

And comming on this site with me. Yesterday she told me she wanted to have it done.

I just why she wanted this. She told me that of course she does want to be thinner, she does not want to take medication for high b/p as her father and I do and the diabetes medication her father and grandmother takes. And have the veins like I have in my legs.

If she still wants to do this I will make sure she understands. If at any time she changes her mind, thats fine. She has to do it for her not anyone else. But, if she continues I will be with her all the way.

That' great, having support is always wonderful. If your daughter would like to speak to someone with the band that's her age, PM me and i'll give you my e-mail.

[JOYCE13 0]

Thank you that would be great. I would like her to talk to someone her age about this, not just me or the dr.

[coltonwade 27]

Isabella, I have to say you are one impressive young lady .

You are very mature, you are very informed and you are the kind of teenager that deserves the band, you will and have done well with it .

you are amazing. Im very glad you have jumped in on this conversation , you will be a great asset to this mother and daughther.

there is a girl in Austin ( texas) who no one in the US would band( she didnt qualify ) so her mom took her to Mexico to get the band , from interviews it was pretty obvious she was not ready and did not under stand the band, she too was 15, her reasons seemed soley for vanity reasons. I have to tell you you are a great spokes person for the RIGHT reasons for teens getting the band.

You as well as your parents should be proud !

Your doc made a great choice banding you and you seem to have done a great job.... keep it up !

Mindy