Dealing with new attention

[White Sale 339]

I've started to notice people, particularly males, acting differently toward me. Going out of their way to help me. Being asked out on dates. I find it very bizarre. This is something I hoped would happen, but now that it has begun, I realize I have exactly zero experience at handling it.

I have never been thin. I used my fat as a literal barrier to keep from forming relationships.

So, I suppose I would appreciate advice from those who are/were in a similar situation. Does it ever get comfortable? How do you reject someone in as nice a way as possible? How do you not accidentally flirt?

[DaleCruse 756]

Congratulations on your weight loss & new-found attention. It sounds like right now your mind equates attention to awkwardness. What if you equated attention to pleasure? What would it feel like to make that shift?

[DedicatedLady 139]

I would think if you were single, then appreciate the attention, if someone holds open a door for me, I run the extra step or two and make eye contact and smile. They might just have great manners, but they might think you're hot sh*t! Enjoy It!!

I have always been a very forward person, and after gaining over 100lbs when I met my fiance, the only time I really noticed how big I had gotten was when I looked in the mirror, and the comments I made about myself were probably more hurtful than what anybody else would think. I have come a short way on a long journey, but mentally getting rid of my fat barrier is a difficult process. For example, my fiance and I dance around and he dips me, and I instinctively scream in horror,and every time I have to literally remind myself that he is Not going to break his back, and he won't have any trouble picking me up. Its been a difficult mind shift.

I've lost excessive weight before on my own, and being 5'10 I was 170lbs (which I carry well thankfully) brought a lot of attention, and yes it gets SO comfortable, people are so nice you don't it to end. You can't help but smile(bringing even MORE attention), I remember that clothes shopping was my reward for hitting weight goals, so I got to walk around in nice outfits, feeling so accomplished about what I had done, and I would intentionally make eye contact with people to see who was looking at me (a tad vain, but it kept me motivated at the time)

As for rejecting people, remember to smile, thank them for offering but say you can't/won't at the time etc.. Be really canadian about it, with all the apologies and what not. If someone if uncomfortably flirting with me, I make sure to do the 'thinking pose' while talking, but with my left hand on my chin so that they are blinded by the giant diamond ring on my finger, it typically works