Relationship Talk

[sleevedshereen 524]

So i've been stressing and freaking out internally since surgery.

Going out to eat with my boyfriend was pretty much the bulk of what we did.

My boyfriend has always loved the fact that I have big boobs and a big ass.

Honestly, my weight is proportioned pretty well and people have always said I don't look like I weigh how much I actually do. People are usually shocked.

He loves that I'm a curvy girl.

Why do I have this fear that if I lose the weight, and my boobs and my ass that I won't be attractive to him anymore?

I'm scared that my body will change and I'll hate who I see in the mirror just as much as before the surgery?

I'm scared that he will no longer find me attractive and what if he doesn't want to be with me anymore?

I'm scared that he'll find every other woman more attractive than me because why would he want me when he can have a girl with a better body?

And then I think to myself...how am I still attractive without my boobs or my ass?

Why do those things make me feel attractive?

He told me he would never leave me and my beauty is far more than just my body and how beautiful my face is and how my smile and my mind and heart make me just as attractive and blah blah blah but I still have this fear and anxiety and cry just thinking about it...

Anyone else feel like this after surgery?

[Dashofpixiedust8 1,469]

Definitely. Though, I was single when I had my surgery. I see so many stories of people getting divorces and breaking up after the weight loss that it has scared me alot.

I'm much thinner than I was and am now just a bit overweight but even so, I voiced my fear with the guy I'm seeing now because he's said he has been preferring bigger women. I told him I was afraid when I get to goal he will no longer find me attractive. He told me he will always find me attractive, that weight isn't the only thing attractive about me. He has also seen me with all of this extra skin (there is a ton since I've lost over 295 pounds!) and he STILL loves to see me naked (TMI maybe lol).

I think we worry about our bodies MUCH more than our guys do. I think my biggest advice is don't let your fear become the wedge between you two. If you worry about it too much it will make these thoughts come true. Be confident (I know this is hard) in you and your relationship. It will only cause unneeded stress that is making something big out of something that doesn't even matter to him.

Good luck to you! We are always here for you if you need to vent too!

[sleevedshereen 524]

@Dashofpixiedust8 I feel like I'm doing all these things to try to remedy the issues I have with my body. I've bought so many different oils to see if that will help with my stretch marks and scars on my thighs...I'm doing laser hair removal sessions so I never have to worry about shaving again....I'm looking up plastic surgery in case I hate the way I look and I'm stressing so much and cry about my body issues and he just looks at me like you're f**cking crazy, what are you seeing when you look in the mirror?...He also just doesn't understand it...he's 6'3 and only 230 lbs. He doesn't know what it's like to be obese or have these body issues. But you're totally right...I need to not allow how I feel to become a wedge in our relationship because he loves me the way I am and for what I will become...it's tough. I see and read about people divorcing and breaking up after surgery and I just don't want to be one of those people...

[Dashofpixiedust8 1,469]

@sleevedshereenI know. It's incredibly hard to just relax and let it be...but that's kind of what you have to do. My boyfriend has been thin and fit his entire life. He doesn't understand what I'm going through, but he is proud of all I've done. I talk to him about my body image issues and he just holds my hand and tells me he can't imagine what I'm going through because he has never been overweight but I've accomplished amazing things and I should be proud of what I've done.

I hate my extra skin, especially on my thighs. I feel like my extra skin there makes it look like I have huge testicles, and I'm not exaggerating. But he thinks I'm sexy anyway. Who you are is what your boyfriend is attracted to. Looks are just a tiny part of it.

If you become too scared of being a statistic it will come true. I promise you.

It seems like he really cares about you and thinks you are sexy for who you are.

Try to just enjoy being with him.

If you want to get plastic surgery, get it, but do it for you.

I had my stomach flap removed in June. I am not at goal yet but it was affecting my quality of life since it was so large. They removed 15 pounds of skin from that one part of me. That kind of gives you an idea of how much extra skin is on the rest of me.

If he cares of about you, what you look like will not change his feelings. He will think you are the most gorgeous girl because he loves you. Try to remember that.

[sleevedshereen 524]

Thanks! Your words helped a lot. Thanks for sharing your personal experience. I'm glad you have someone who supports you and finds you beautiful as well. I need to build more confidence in myself and believe him when he says these things to me so that I don't sabotage my relationship. This process has been really hard on me mentally and emotionally. Just trying to get passed it.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

@sleevedshereen

At 5'3 even if you lose weight, you are likely to still be curvy. If you really have boobs, you are going to still have boobs. My boobs are smaller (and not as heavy, thank goodness), but since I am smaller overall, my boobs look huge. I went from a 50DD to a 34F/G currently.

Same applies to my hips and ass. They are a lot smaller, but I am curvy and an hourglass, instead of an apple.

If you started off an hourglass plus sized, you will probably still be an hourglass, even a healthy BMI.

[PepperCat 30]

Definitely. Though, I was single when I had my surgery. I see so many stories of people getting divorces and breaking up after the weight loss that it has scared me alot.

I'm much thinner than I was and am now just a bit overweight but even so, I voiced my fear with the guy I'm seeing now because he's said he has been preferring bigger women. I told him I was afraid when I get to goal he will no longer find me attractive. He told me he will always find me attractive, that weight isn't the only thing attractive about me. He has also seen me with all of this extra skin (there is a ton since I've lost over 295 pounds!) and he STILL loves to see me naked (TMI maybe lol).

I think we worry about our bodies MUCH more than our guys do. I think my biggest advice is don't let your fear become the wedge between you two. If you worry about it too much it will make these thoughts come true. Be confident (I know this is hard) in you and your relationship. It will only cause unneeded stress that is making something big out of something that doesn't even matter to him.

Good luck to you! We are always here for you if you need to vent too!

My fiancé is encouraging too but I have a hard time believing he will still be attracted to me... even worse, because I'm losing weight and he isn't...maybe I'll be upset he isn't changing his ways or I won't be attracted to him!

[Evans Wifey 26]

I meet my husband just as I was starting my 6 month weight loss classes. I was 264 when we got married. He liked the plus size curves. But now every time i put on a new dress or take something off he just says "Wow, your getting thin, I like it babe." Im now, 4 months later, 210 lbs. He always tells me that he still loves my curves, but now my curves are tighter. If he tells you he is okay with your body belive him. He has no reason to lie.

[Nancy MBGC 90]

So i've been stressing and freaking out internally since surgery.
Going out to eat with my boyfriend was pretty much the bulk of what we did.
My boyfriend has always loved the fact that I have big boobs and a big ass.
Honestly, my weight is proportioned pretty well and people have always said I don't look like I weigh how much I actually do. People are usually shocked.
He loves that I'm a curvy girl.
Why do I have this fear that if I lose the weight, and my boobs and my ass that I won't be attractive to him anymore?
I'm scared that my body will change and I'll hate who I see in the mirror just as much as before the surgery?
I'm scared that he will no longer find me attractive and what if he doesn't want to be with me anymore?
I'm scared that he'll find every other woman more attractive than me because why would he want me when he can have a girl with a better body?
And then I think to myself...how am I still attractive without my boobs or my ass?
Why do those things make me feel attractive?
He told me he would never leave me and my beauty is far more than just my body and how beautiful my face is and how my smile and my mind and heart make me just as attractive and blah blah blah but I still have this fear and anxiety and cry just thinking about it...
Anyone else feel like this after surgery?

I think that everyone needs to spend more time on themselves and what us best for them and not be so worried about how their significant other is going to be affected. Let me tell you what I KNOW to be true. If this person really cares about you, they will support your betterment and happiness. If this isn't the case, move on to a better partner.

[Nancy MBGC 90]

I think that everyone needs to spend more time on themselves and what is best for them and not be so worried about how their significant other is going to be affected. Let me tell you what I KNOW to be true. If this person really cares about you, they will support your betterment and happiness. If this isn't the case, move on to a better partner.