I could use help with My Head

[Half-Tum 404]

Hey ya'll

Let me give you a quick rundown as it is ALMOST my one moth SURGIVERSARY or however that's spelled.

40 lbs down. In a "third week stall" currently but ok with it, not worried
5" down in chest
4" down in stomach
2" down in neck
2" down upper arm
2" down in thigh
1.5" down in calves

I am still on "full liquid" phase per doctor till I see him at the 1st of September which at THAT point I guess I will only progress to the "Pureed" Phase.

So here's the deal: I'm a little depressed because I can't figure out what to do anymore.

EVERYTHING I used to do revolved around food and drink and I am finding this out now because normal things I would do to make me happy, I can't do anymore.
I don't meet my friends at restaurants - I don't meet my friends hardly anymore....
I don't take my wife and daughter to eat out...I don't even cook for them at home anymore like I used to love to do.
I don't want to go to my neighborhood bar hang out place because I don't want to ask for Water.< br /> My family functions were centered around food.
I used to LOVE to go try food at new restaurants every weekend, or just go to the places that I loved to eat at.

I know the standard answer "You gotta find new hobbies"

This doesn't help someone who for at least the last 25 years or so of their life have been spent NOT doing anything else but these things.

I don't find hiking fun. I don't find a lot of outdoor stuff fun at all. I don't know even of I would if I was thin. It's not "me".

I really don't KNOW who me is anymore when I can't do these things.

Yes, I have other hobbies, I write music, I play in a band. I record music. but I can't just do that.

I'm really kinda lost right now.

Let's talk.

[sleevedshereen 524]

@Half-TumUGH I know exactly how you feel. One thing my boyfriend and I used to do was go out and pig out and try new places and enjoy meals together and now that it's gone...it just sucks. Eating was a hobby for me. lol I miss being able to feel like a normal person and eat with my family or go out to a restaurant and be able to order whatever the heck I want. The restriction sucks too sometimes. Two bites in and i'm full sometimes...Also, I feel like I'm constantly over thinking in my head about food choices. When I order a salad with chicken, I'm like I can't even enjoy a salad all together. Eat the chicken first, then lettuce. It just sucks sometimes. I think we're so fresh out...I'm just a month and three days out that it's still an adjustment and a hard life style change.

Also, not having food as a crutch or a hobby has made me realize...do I even really have hobbies??

I feel isolated because I can't drink, can't eat...so how can I hang out with friends?

My boyfriend doesn't even want to go to dinner with me because it's no longer the same...

I just feel like this surgery is affecting me socially, emotionally and mentally and I'm not handling it well either.

It's opened up my eyes to just how stupid some of my relationships with others that if we aren't going out to eat then what else do we have in common?

I'm just a little sad right now...

[Dashofpixiedust8 1,469]

I totally get it. It's crazy how our culture is so food centric. I say find new activities to do with friends and family. I know you said you don't like the outdoors and such but there are other things to do than just physical activity. When I was so soon out of surgery I didn't do anything physically active.

If your friends and family are supportive of this journey of yours (which I hope they are) they will respect the fact that right now (especially when you are still on liquid diet) your hang outs need to be without food.

It will get much much easier once you can eat regular food again. When you can you will enjoy cooking again and you will just cook things that are healthier but still delicious. My friends LOVE when I cook and are ALWAYS amazed that it is low calorie. Good for you food doesn't have to mean boring.

For now though, think about things you can do together that would still be fun.

For me that was things like game nights, paint nights, going to a place like dave and busters and playing games, this soon out from surgery you can't go bowling but thats an option down the line, miniature golf is also fun. Doing an activity doesn't always have to mean hiking or canoeing or something. If you like music what about going out for karaoke with friends.

The hardest part of this journey is right now, while you are on a liquid diet. It will get much easier. I promise.

Hang in there!

[Half-Tum 404]

I'm so glad the both of you get exactly what I'm talking about first of all.

It really is a mindf**k right now.

[PepperCat 30]

I'm so glad the both of you get exactly what I'm talking about first of all.
It really is a mindf**k right now.

OMG I'm already feeling this dread and I'm pre op. Surgery sept 25th. My fiancé has terrible eating habits and we made a lot of our activities centered around food. I think it's just a learning process right? Like we will find new ways to connect and maybe even deeper ways? Have hope. We will get through this together!

[Evans Wifey 26]

I do the cooking at home. Ive found the Ketogenics diet to be the best for both of us. We can still eat like we did before just in a healthier way. Oh and I'll just fill up alot faster, lol.

[Berry78 4,261]

My hubby and I used to always go out to eat for our recreation. We are still in the process of figuring out new things to do together. Malls, movies, museums... possibly the gym, swimming, etc. Mostly we just sit around the house on our electronic devices (same as before).

[melty29 33]

Hey ya'll

Let me give you a quick rundown as it is ALMOST my one moth SURGIVERSARY or however that's spelled.

40 lbs down. In a "third week stall" currently but ok with it, not worried
5" down in chest
4" down in stomach
2" down in neck
2" down upper arm
2" down in thigh
1.5" down in calves

I am still on "full liquid" phase per doctor till I see him at the 1st of September which at THAT point I guess I will only progress to the "Pureed" Phase.

So here's the deal: I'm a little depressed because I can't figure out what to do anymore.

EVERYTHING I used to do revolved around food and drink and I am finding this out now because normal things I would do to make me happy, I can't do anymore.
I don't meet my friends at restaurants - I don't meet my friends hardly anymore....
I don't take my wife and daughter to eat out...I don't even cook for them at home anymore like I used to love to do.
I don't want to go to my neighborhood bar hang out place because I don't want to ask for Water.< br> My family functions were centered around food.
I used to LOVE to go try food at new restaurants every weekend, or just go to the places that I loved to eat at.

I know the standard answer "You gotta find new hobbies"

This doesn't help someone who for at least the last 25 years or so of their life have been spent NOT doing anything else but these things.

I don't find hiking fun. I don't find a lot of outdoor stuff fun at all. I don't know even of I would if I was thin. It's not "me".

I really don't KNOW who me is anymore when I can't do these things.

Yes, I have other hobbies, I write music, I play in a band. I record music. but I can't just do that.

I'm really kinda lost right now.

Let's talk.

I feel the same way. It is difficult to change a lifetime pattern. I am almost 3 months out and have yet to really go out with friends. I have taken my nephews out to eat a few times. It is a challenge because of food choice restrictions. Also I didn't realize how much I would miss beer. [emoji12] On the weekends when I went out with friends I would have a few beers. No more of that! I think about my bad habits and the excess weight and I am glad I had the surgery. However, it's going to be a huge adjustment. I too feel a little lost. Plus since I am single I worry about dating and meeting new people. I wish you luck! Hopefully we will all figure it out and be successful.

[Half-Tum 404]

6 hours ago, PepperCat said:

OMG I'm already feeling this dread and I'm pre op. Surgery sept 25th. My fiancé has terrible eating habits and we made a lot of our activities centered around food. I think it's just a learning process right? Like we will find new ways to connect and maybe even deeper ways? Have hope. We will get through this together!

Yes.

Let me just say that YES, this and I know it will happen for me too, eventually, I'm just in the middle of it as it were and it feels like a real struggle right now.

[Half-Tum 404]

2 hours ago, Berry78 said:

My hubby and I used to always go out to eat for our recreation. We are still in the process of figuring out new things to do together. Malls, movies, museums... possibly the gym, swimming, etc. Mostly we just sit around the house on our electronic devices (same as before).

That's kinda sad, but I feel ya.

[Half-Tum 404]

1 hour ago, melty29 said:

I feel the same way. It is difficult to change a lifetime pattern. I am almost 3 months out and have yet to really go out with friends. I have taken my nephews out to eat a few times. It is a challenge because of food choice restrictions. Also I didn't realize how much I would miss beer. On the weekends when I went out with friends I would have a few beers. No more of that! I think about my bad habits and the excess weight and I am glad I had the surgery. However, it's going to be a huge adjustment. I too feel a little lost. Plus since I am single I worry about dating and meeting new people. I wish you luck! Hopefully we will all figure it out and be successful.

Have you been losing the weight you wanted to? What's it like three months out? What do you eat?

[melty29 33]

I have lost 33 pounds. 3 weeks ago at my check up the dr said the loss would slow down. He was right! Now I am losing about a pound or two a week. I was able to eat a normal diet starting week 8. My portions are just really small. I find it best to stay with tender and juicy meat. I had some small pork tenderloins that were a bit dry. They did not sit well. I feel better than I did a few weeks ago but still lack energy. I spoke to my nutritionist and she said I wasn't drinking enough Water. Now I have started measuring and hope it helps. I have a male friend who had the surgery in October and is down 100 pounds. He said the key is being consistent with your Protein and workouts. That is something I have to work on.[emoji3]

[Sosewsue61 3,185]

I can imagine these transitions suck. I hope you find something to ease your mind.

[Sosewsue61 3,185]

I can imagine these transitions suck. I hope you find something to ease your mind. Good luck.

http://www.tnsquaredance.org/resources/

Shameless plug for my favorite activity and I promise it is fun, involves music of all types and all types of people. We do have food but you can bring what you can eat to share, but it is not about the food.