To tell, or not to tell...family and friends

[Guest pearbait]

I am having a delima... I am seriously thinking about getting the lap-band. I am attending a seminar next week...My DH is supportive, but I haven't told anyone else. I am so ashamed to tell them, after telling them of every other diet I have tried and failed at. I just don't want them to judge me, however, it is hard to keep to yourself. Any thoughts from people who have been through this.

I also don't want to not tell them, just to tell them after I lose the weight, then they will think i was deceitfull

[Chris_NJ 9]

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f15/do-you-tell-people-youre-banded-42827/

[lindy07 0]

Hang in there! My hubby felt the same way and he chickened out last summer when he was already going in to get the lap band. He is in a better state of mind and now he will be a bandster on June 26, 2008. I am so proud of his decision and I am going to support him by changing my eating habits, as well.

DO it for you...and you have nothing to be ashame of. Sometimes we just need a jump start to reach our goal! Good luck and keep us posted on how the seminar went and how you felt after you listened to the information.

I am here for you. piecesofapril@aol.com

Lindy07

[soon2be 0]

I feel the same way. I think my inlaws would be hurt to know that I had surgery without their knowledge, BUT I also think they would never understand WLS. Their entire family is fit and always commenting on diets and who needs to lose what. I am very uncomfortable discussing this with them as my family is mostly heavy. Let me know what you decide to do and I'll do the same! Good luck on your journey!

[Hastings 3]

If you scroll down to the very bottom of the page you will see a list of threads about this topic.

I told everyone, and received only positive feedback.

[MaLiyah30 0]

While a lot of people don't mind telling everyone, I personally didn't tell anyone except my mom and that is because I needed a ride to and from the surgery center. Hell I didn't want to tell her either but I had no choice.

I didn't want people watching me all of the time while I eat and I didn't want everyone asking all of the annoying questions such as, how much weight have you lost so far, and how much more weight are you going to lose. I knew before the surgery that losing weight with the band would possibly be a slow process and I didn't want to explain that either. I have never been comfortable with my body or with people watching me and I knew that if I told I would regret it. Ultimately it is your decision but just remember once you decide to tell people you won't be able to take it back.

Wishing you all the best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[soon2be 0]

You are so right! So many times in life I have proudly announced my next diet attempt only to REGRET it! I have the support of my husband and Mom, so I think I will leave it at that. Thanks for taking the time to respond. I wish you the best too!

[lindy07 0]

Thank you for your response. I wish you the best of luck! It is hard enough to lose weight and to feel so lousy doing it at the beginning that the less the people that know, the better.

Godspeed!

Lindy07

[Hadassah 0]

I think is your decision, but ussually people that is not overweighted will judge you and make you feel that you just do not want to make any more efforts to loose weight. Also there may be a misunderstanding between LapBand & cosmetic surgery. I personally, have not tell my relatives and friends, only my husband, kids and my mom know about it, but not my sisters, friends or In laws. I think that is something private, that only the ones that are next to you (living with you) are the ones that are going to give you the support you need and will need.

Edited June 20, 2008 by Hadassah
misspelling

[mango24 1]

I vote tell no one. Hubby, that's it. If you change your mind a year or two later then tell. But if you tell before, you can never take it back. I wish I had told no one. I regret telling.

[Needol 0]

The only person I told was my husband. I was thinking about telling one of my sisters thinking maybe I could talk her into getting it done with me but we were talking about it in general and she sounded against it so I didn't. I'm happy with just my husband knowing, I dont have to feel weird around anyone.

[Mink 0]

We told no one. I am the type that does not like attention and felt everyone wuold be watching me to see if I was losing or asking me how much I have lost am down over 25 lb and only one person has said "you have lost some weight" and she has not seen me in over 3 weeks. I like it this way but everyone is differant

P.S. I have never lied some much to my kids they like to know where I am going and doing cant tell them I am traveling 5 hours away to see a doctor but I am fine and healthy eventually I will tell them.

[lapbandbarb 0]

I am scheduled for July 7th and I have to start my liquid diet on Monday. I am so scared! I have been looking forward to this for so long and now I am terrified of so many things. First, being able to stick to the liquids for two weeks when I get headaches and feel sick when I don't eat. Anyone try Phentermine during the liquid stage before surgery? The Dr. gave me 30mg 1X day and it is making me sick! I have to convince him to give me the 15mg X 2X day. For some reason he is giving me a hard time. Alot of Drs don't give it at all but my hunger is outrageous and how do you stay on 1000 cals of liquid for two weeks when you have two kids home from school with you driving you crazy and you need to feed them? I feel like giving up and forgeting the surgery. I was so excited and have waited months for approval. Can anyone relate? I think about how I let myself get so big and all the times when I was younger and able to exercise and lose weight. Now I have arthritis in my knees and I am too darn tired and in pain. I need some support and no body can really understand. This writing is helping, I think and I am open to all responces. Thanks for letting me vent. I am also getting really nervous about the surgery itself and my husband is really worried about it. He fears that he and my children will lose me.

Barb from Yorktown Heights, NY

[lapbandbarb 0]

As far as telling people. When I first decided to do it, I told a few people and I felt like they were looking at me in a different way after. So for me now, mums the word

[Beader 1]

Hi, I have my first consultation appointment on July 10th and can't wait for my surgery. I've only told my best friend and my mother in law because I will need rides here and there. After listening to all of you, I think I agree with not telling everyone. I was going to because I couldn't figure out how to eat only a few tablespoons of something without someone making a comment. I come from families on both sides who are not heavy but there is SUCH an emphasis on food. Then I received a suggestion on one of the other threads that I liked. Fill your plate (not overly filled) and just eat a little of it. This way no one will notice a large dish with near nothing on it. Also I will start doing it even before my surgery and just tell people I'm trying to cut down. Then when the time comes I'm hoping they won't ask anymore. If I have to do liquids two weeks before the surgery, I'm not sure how to handle that! I'm doing a cleanse??? haha Good luck everyone and if you think of something else, let me know!

Edited June 24, 2008 by gottaluvme