Anxiety and people knowing about surgery

[HDScarlett 85]

Hi, I have been able to keep my health issues private, and in this case, I told my manager that I "am having some parts removed". LOL Since he is male, he can take this in several directions, but I knew this would thwart any need for me to elaborate. Work is allowing me to take a few days sick, and then I am taking a few PTO days, and then work remote if I need it.

I told my closest friends and family that I am having my hernia fixed (which is true since I have a hiatal that they will be fixing during surgery). My fiance is the only one who knows the truth, and that's the way it's going to stay. I'm not embarrassed etc to tell the truth, but I don't want people calling and bugging me during recovery, or watching what I eat etc. When people start to notice the weight loss, I am going to tell them that I had to go on a limited diet pre surgery, and it just became really easy - that's my story, and I'm stickin to it!!

[LINZ62383 39]

I'm in the same boat, but more so about when I ask for short-term disability. I am worried what to say if they ask why I need time, like press about what kind of surgery I'm having. I'm not so much uncomfortable telling people as I am worried that if I tell them I'm getting RNY that they will deny my short-term disability and say it's elective.

[HDScarlett 85]

This is why I chose not to go the short term disability route and work it out with my manager. Short term can always be retro, if you don't want to go that route up front. All you have to tell them is that you are having major abdominal surgery. And if HR does not keep this confidential, you have a law suit. If you have high blood pressure, high cholesterol or any other medical issues associated with your weight, it's NOT elective.....good luck and keep us posted!

[GassyGurl 428]

Does your company have a 3rd party handle its disability? I called a company, talked to a stranger, told them I had morbid obesity, and that was pretty much it. I was worried about my boss, because he's a jerk. But I had also kept a bottle of antacid on my desk and made sure he knew I suffered gastric problems over the past few weeks. So he pretty much assumed something to fix that and I never said a word. His business is to make sure there is coverage of my job, benefit administratiors do the rest.

And if your Dr says it's medically necessary, it's not elective.

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[insul817 49]

Hello all, I have a date, Dec. 12th. All though, only if insurance comes through. It could be a timing issue. I'm desperately hoping for surgery at that time for several reasons. One, my deductibles have been met for the year, and the other reason, I have a family reunion at WDW in March. If I have to wait till the new year, I might go ahead and schedule surgery after the reunion. My question is, how healed do you think I will be 2 1/2 months after surgery?

[Results8567 34]

17 hours ago, insul817 said:

My question is, how healed do you think I will be 2 1/2 months after surgery?

Hey Insul817!

You might want to take this question to the post op side of things! Since I'm still pre op I couldn't give you an adequate time line on healing and such! Best of luck and I'm so happy you have a date!!!

[TashMash25 15]

I have chosen not to tell my colleagues except my Team Leader. I'm not doing it for anyone except myself and I know that people will have their judgements and quite frankly I do not need negatively energy. So I totally understand where you are coming from.

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[monica8773 25]

This was such a good post for me to read! It was like several of you were inside my head! I had kept my circle of trust very tight until a coworker stalked my calendar. I thought my appointment was marked as private. [emoji849] So then came the questions and the unsolicited advice. This is the only reason I didn't want to tell my coworker's. I know I'm part of their gossip when I'm not around. But you know what? It's okay. I'm doing this for me, my children and my health. To hell with them if they think I'm making a bad choice.

[ClbsMm2000 95]

It's completely a personal decision. Before my lap band surgery, I worried about this. And now I am having revision to gastric bypass! lol So that just gives everyone even more to discuss. But I really don't care who knows. It's my decision, and I've made it. I choose to put me first and get myself back, so that I can feel better and be a presence in my children's lives for many years to come. Generally when I put it like that, no one has anything but good to say to me. I think for me, I felt like people would talk more if I acted like it was something I wanted to hide. I have a relative that lost a bunch of weight after "gallbladder surgery". Unfortunately she is the one more people discuss than me, who had bariatric surgery and was very open about it.