Finding Happiness

[Supernovae 34]

I'm going to make an assumption here, and assume that most people on this forum are like me. food makes me happy. Binging is amazing. My entire life revolves around food. When I go out, I think about the food near me. Any alone time I have is for binging. It's the one thing that truly excites me and I live for it. But it's also killing me. So now, with my surgery on the 18th, I'm trying to mentally picture myself being just as forfilled by something else in life, but I can't. Surely there is something out there that can make me just as excited and happy as food? I don't think a career will forfill that void. Maybe hiking? Being able to do more? I still think I'd get bored. I'm hoping that one day when I have children that will do the trick.

I'm hoping that some people who are post op can please give me some things to look forward to that actually make them truly happy. Something that makes you want to get up in the morning

[Boomqueen 24]

Maybe it won't be just one thing, maybe it will be a bunch of things! You're going to get pushed out of your comfort zone. It's normal to feel sad, trust the change.

[Introversion 1,876]

Some things I look forward to:

1. Exercise
2. Nature
3. Talking to my best friend
4. My paycheck
5. Cooking
6. Being alive and healthy

I mention this as sensitively as possible...perhaps you may wish to seriously consider seeking professional help for the binge-eating because weight loss surgery won't stop the binges.

In fact, once your stomach heals, you'll simply find another way to binge around your sleeve by eating a slice of pizza every 30 minutes until you eat the whole pie. Without professional help, the compulsive drive to eat will still be there and a reduced-size stomach won't stop you.

Medications such as Vyvanse and Topamax treat binge eating disorder, and cognitive behavioral therapies help. But without professional help, I've seen binge eaters regain 150+ pounds with a sleeve.

Good luck to you.

[Ldyvenus 317]

2 hours ago, Introversion said:

My paycheck

Pretty much this, and I'm looking for a job right now. I haven't found anything to replace the feeling or planning part of food comfort. I am shopping in different stores and taking advantage of grocery pick up.

I think this is the part that lands people back here a few years after surgery, looking for regain support. The story usually starts with an accident, death, injury, or loss of some kind.

Therapy might be something that helps, if you can find the right therapist. We all have to start with a strong conviction about our new relationship with food.

[Introversion 1,876]

20 hours ago, Supernovae said:

food makes me happy.

4 minutes ago, Ldyvenus said:

We all have to start with a strong conviction about our new relationship with food.

I attended a weight loss surgery conference earlier this year. One of the featured speakers (Anisa Grantham) is a psychotherapist who specializes in bariatric surgery issues and underwent the gastric bypass 15+ years ago.

Anyhow, she made the comparison between food and the other basic needs in life such as oxygen, Water, shelter, activity, sleep, and elimination.

Food fulfills our basic needs for nutrition. Once we start using food for something other than fuel and nutrition, we travel down a slippery slope and get into trouble.

Ms. Grantham said that food is the only basic need people insist they 'love.' Nobody loves or is emotionally attached to other basic needs. No one loves the poop we defecate (elimination). Nobody loves the air we breathe (oxygenation). Nobody loves basic movement (activity). No one loves housing (shelter).

When someone claims to love food, it's indicative of a dysfunctional relationship with something that should be treated as a basic need and nothing more.

Loving food is akin to loving one's toilet bowl: we need food for nutrition just like we need a toilet for elimination of bodily wastes. Why do people love food but don't love their toilet bowls?

[jess9395 5,449]

Yeah people have said it better than I can, but in order for the surgery to work long term you need to do the mental work of breaking the dysfunctional pattern. Surgery alone won't do it. They operate on our stomach not our brain.

I was a binge eater and the surgery helped, but it was a tool for the mental work to take hold.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

I replaced my love of food with dressing as proactively as possible without looking like an actual street walkers, lol. Which is fun and challenging and keeps me motivated to maintain my weight loss.

On a serious note though, you have to figure out why food comforts you so much. You are probably numbing some feelings with food, once you figure that issue out and tackle it, the rest is really easy.

I was stressed all the time, I removed the things from my life that caused excess stress. I made peace with my childhood. I basically decided life was worth living and living to the max.

WLS will not stop you from binging AT ALL, you can easily binge eat with WLS. And it might even be more satisfying because you get full on small amount but your stomch empties fast so you can mini binge all day.

Work through the emotion issues or you will even up back where you started.

[jess9395 5,449]

This is a really good point since binge eating is defined by loss of control not by how much you eat. A binge for someone post WLS wouldn't be as much food but would still be a loss of control.

[Missy161 395]

I attended a weight loss surgery conference earlier this year. One of the featured speakers (Anisa Grantham) is a psychotherapist who specializes in bariatric surgery issues and underwent the gastric bypass 15+ years ago.
Anyhow, she made the comparison between food and the other basic needs in life such as oxygen, Water, shelter, activity, sleep, and elimination.
Food fulfills our basic needs for nutrition. Once we start using food for something other than fuel and nutrition, we travel down a slippery slope and get into trouble.
Ms. Grantham said that food is the only basic need people insist they 'love.' Nobody loves or is emotionally attached to other basic needs. No one loves the poop we defecate (elimination). Nobody loves the air we breathe (oxygenation). Nobody loves basic movement (activity). No one loves housing (shelter).
When someone claims to love food, it's indicative of a dysfunctional relationship with something that should be treated as a basic need and nothing more.
Loving food is akin to loving one's toilet bowl: we need food for nutrition just like we need a toilet for elimination of bodily wastes. Why do people love food but don't love their toilet bowls?

I kind of disagree- I have loved my house, I've loved a job, I've loved riding my bike. I love to eat , but I'm not a binger. I feel like we should enjoy our basic needs just not to excess. Does that make sense?
I still love finding good things to eat. I'm just satisfied with a small portion.
I hear you though...
....But who doesn't love a good poop! Lol


Mich W
Hw 223, SW 217 CW 194 GW 135

[Missy161 395]

Also, I agree, you should find a good therapist.


Mich W
Hw 223, SW 217 CW 194 GW 135

[hmills653 365]

I like nature, I love getting up in the morning hearing the birds chirping outside my window. I sit on the front porch sip my Water and watch the birds at the feeder. I like to walk the nature trails, I live walking distance from a metro park. 6 weeks post op my husband and I went on a jet ski dolphin tour in Ft Meyers. It was so fun. I'm seriously considering getting jet ski, I live by lake Erie, so no dolphins but still very fun. Try some new things you may be surprised.

[ryan_86 335]

Being able to physically do things I couldn't before is pretty awesome. It's a new life.

[ryan_86 335]

In fact, once your stomach heals, you'll simply find another way to binge around your sleeve by eating a slice of pizza every 30 minutes until you eat the whole pie. Without professional help, the compulsive drive to eat will still be there and a reduced-size stomach won't stop you.

I've yet to finish the pizza, but yes, I could if I spent enough time trying. There was a period when I just didn't eat anything "bad," with bad defined as things I can't control myself around. I'm not sure if that is ever sustainable, but neither have I found the ability to have a little bit without craving more. Bored? Eat. Sad? Eat. Happy? Eat. Busy? Eat.

It is all about the mental ability to stop yourself, because your brain is so much better at giving you permission.

[Supernovae 34]

I've started seeing a psychiatrist so I'll definitely be getting the mental help. I also have adhd and I think food really helped me with preoccupying my mind when I was completely underestimulated by the world. Food for me is my high and the only thing that truly entertains me. I'm not sure if they makes sense? It's like I can't concentrate on anything, but if I'm eating then I can concentrate. I've been overweight since I was about 6, so it will be a long process to fully recover, but definitely hoping my sleeve will help. I've broken it once before and dropped a lot of weight by myself and found happiness mainly in feeling hot as f**k and being able to enjoy more things in life. I'm just having a hard time remembering how I felt, so it seems impossible to get back to... However, the preop diet is helping and I'm already feeling less of a need to eat, which is great (:

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