Today I get more fill

Curley · January 5, 2005

Hi, for those that dont know I was loosing like crazy, felt like a million dollars, but then got really sick from not enough nutrition. Then I got some fill out. Well 10 plus pounds latter, and almost no restriction I am now getting a top up. I am back to being food obsessed & feeling fat & like a failure.

This time round I will concintrate on eatting better. I hope & pray that I can loose weight & be healthy because being thin & sick is no good but being fat & out of control is bad too.

For me a tight fill stops the food deamons...or at least puts them to sleep! Because I am a binge eatter rather than just an over eatter, I suffer mentally when my fill is not tight. No amount of counciling or self help books has ever helped so although I read all the hints like a sponge, nothing really helps me except when my band is tight. Then I experience peace like never before in my life.

So wish me luck as I have definately taken many steps back. My dh told me last night...gee you`re looking fat, whats happened? Its true but his type of tough mean love doesnt help. Its not that I get insulted because hes always like that, its just that I feel like Im going to be the butt of everyones jokes if I dont make this work. I think I told everyone how great this band is, and Ive got no where to hide now!

TrishS · January 5, 2005

You look great no matter what anyone says... Everyone has to put there two cents in and you know what most of them have no place to talk! You have come a LONG way you need to proud!!! never give up on your accomplishment because you work hard. Its hard going from 230 some lbs to what you are now. its NOT easy and you are very strong for what you have already done. I hope I am there one day and look as wonderful as you... Dont get down keep your head up and work hard. Good luck! and keep us posted

Jammin & Losin · January 5, 2005

Curley don't you let anyone drag you down!!! You can make this work and you have already done so good . You should be proud of you!!! WE are!!!And you have no need to hide ! You are a beautiful person!

Curley · January 5, 2005

Thanks guys, well as I speak I have my new higher fill. The difference is AMAZING! I am already experiencing quick & satisfying fullness after my meal. It turns out I had almost no fill in the tank. My doc had taken out 1 mil. which is alot (as opposed to .01mil). She put back half & I am so happy.

I am convinced the band does 99% of the work for me. It allows me to impliment the things I know I should be doing. It lets me throw out food without a second glance. It changes how my brain ticks.

It took me 2 weeks to put on 12 pounds, and I couldnt stop. All the support from other bandsters cheering me on didnt help at all (although I was sooo grateful). I was in a food fog & couldnt get out. I am so happy to be back in bandland. I appreciate my band now maor than ever!

Rebeccalee · January 5, 2005

Sometimes it doesn't take much of a fill to make a difference. You did have a lot taken out, though. I'm glad you are back in the fight! Good luck with your new fill!