My VSG Story - Fear of Failure and Celebrating Success

[Iconcinnity 209]

Hello Everyone-

Recently I've been reading through many posts and have been inspired to share my story. I started the VSG process about three years ago, however, got cold feet. I thought to myself, there's no way I can go through this, and that I could lose the weight myself. I was wrong! As a full time mom, with a full time career (and two hour commute each day), there was very little time for me to focus on myself. Three years and three co-morbidities later, I realized VSG was my best option to effectively lose the weight and keep it off! I started my journey in September of 2016 with a 6 month required nutrition based diet program by my insurance. I must say, I didn't do my best during these six months because I found myself in a shame spiral of "food funerals". I had so much FOMO that I doubled down on getting all of the things in that I would "no longer be able to have". I was so scared that I was going to fail at this. My weight increased to my highest ever at 310 lbs. (but everyone told me I didn't look that heavy because I carried it so well). Not really though. I was sore, my body ached daily and my knees started to buckle on occasion, which was scary. I couldn't muster the energy to keep a steady workout routine and when I did work out, I hurt myself. In the spring of 2017 I realized I couldn't keep it up and needed the change. That it was my time to get it done and do it right. I took a weekend trip with my husband, began meditating daily with Insight Timer and I sought professional help for the FOMO and food funerals and made great progress over three months time. Biggest lesson & light bub moment - Food is the fuel our body needs to function properly. It only has meaning, once you give it meaning.

The decision was made and there was no turning back and failure is not an option. On 5/17 I began my liquid diet and on 5/31 I had my operation. I was able to come home that Friday and by Saturday, I was walking 10K steps and I haven't looked back or slowed down. I've kept up the walking momentum taking 30-45 minutes on my lunch to walk and if it's raining, I walk in our parking garage! I started the C25K program and just finished week 3 day 1. This week I will add strength training to the mix. I'm six weeks out from surgery and just celebrated 52 lbs lost - 254 lbs! It's been eight weeks that I've been without alcohol, added sugar, excess carbs, or caffeine and over 5 years since I've been this light (after having my second child) and everything from here on down is a bonus!

I realized this truly is a lifestyle change for the better and that it's not an easy road. However, the things I had the most FOMO about, I haven't given a second thought or missed them in my life. I listen to my body now and it tells me when enough is enough. Even after surgery, you still have to make the choice to do the right thing which isn't always easy. But with every passing day, it gets easier. I'm so excited for these new beginnings and rediscovery.

In the words of Jimmy Iovine - "When you're running after something, you should not look left or right. No. Go. Go. Go. Go."

May you be well, may you be happy, may you have peace.

Iconcinnity

[spare 7]

Congratulations on your weight loss and dedication! Just curious, what hospital you went through and who was your surgeon?

[Iconcinnity 209]

Thank you. My surgeon is Jonathan Finks with University of Michigan. His entire team is terrific!

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[Newme17 3,444]

9 hours ago, Iconcinnity said:

It only has meaning, once you give it meaning

Ahhh....TRUTH! Good job hon on recognizing and doing something about your weight/life. I have a similar story too, mom/job/hurting from weight/etc....you are doing awesome. Keep it up and be blessed hon!

[gwbicster 257]

9 hours ago, Iconcinnity said:

food is the fuel our body needs to function properly. It only has meaning, once you give it meaning.

This is honestly my biggest struggle. I know it is true, but... I feel like I will always love food. I know I need to stop OBSESSING over it, but I bristle over suggestions that I'm not supposed to enjoy it anymore.

I know I need to see a therapist desperately, but I'm having some insurance related issues with that. I'm working on that and will sooner or later.

I also had many different food funerals (I didn't gain, I did it in reasonable moderation, but I can tell you my last meal in several different food groups, and I look back on it fondly...)

At the very least once I get to maintenance if not sooner, I want to be able to enjoy my favorite foods IN MODERATION once in awhile, and not completely deny myself. A lot of people on here say that is going to lead to regain, but it seems to me I ought to be able to do this so long as it doesn't get out of control. When I had the surgery I was hoping the restriction is what would keep me from getting out of hand, but I also know that this restriction will lessen over the coming months.

I do realize if I substitute the word drug or drink for food in the paragraph above, I am speaking exactly like an untreated addict, so I am torn on this.

[Iconcinnity 209]

Celebrating 61 pounds gone for good! Below 250! Every moment counts!

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[yes_anastasia 43]

You are an inspiration!!!! Totally beautiful, as well. :-)

[Iconcinnity 209]

You are an inspiration!!!! Totally beautiful, as well. :-)

Thank you Anastasia!

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