Kxw1976 3 Posted July 12, 2017 Has anyone else noticed any relationships being lost? People that you never thought would back away? Your success makes them feel more insecure about themselves and you might lose pounds/ inches but the you find that the people closest to you become an emotional weight dragging you down? Sent from my SM-G930P using BariatricPal mobile app 1 arietay29 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cognorati001 23 Posted July 12, 2017 This is one of those weird an completely unanticipated effects, but yes, people's treatment of you may be extremely different. The place I've experienced this the most is actually in professional settings. Surprisingly, female coworkers are the WORST. It took me a long time to realize that what I've experienced is actually harassment; I cant express how unsolicited it is and relentless. I think it's a kind of affront or humiliating to see someone lose a lot of weight and have their health restored if you've failed at the same, and persistently. 2 SlimDreams and Kxw1976 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
arietay29 2 Posted July 12, 2017 When I first decided to have the surgery I had messaged a plus size model who I knew went through it and I mean of course I didn't think she'd message me back but she did and she gave me the best advice I could've asked for she said "prepare to lose friends, you are trying to better yourself not just your health but your mind and a lot of people don't want that for you they want you to stay the fat friend they don't want you to get better and once you get that confidence boost they can't handle seeing you happy" once she said that it rang in my head everyday how people only want you around when they feel they are doing better than you but no one wants to be happy for your success all I say is focus on you love those who love and support you 2 Ready4theday and Kxw1976 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kxw1976 3 Posted July 12, 2017 Yes! Im in the nursing world and surrounded by women. And some got motivated to go to the gym in the beginning and now its a constant comparison and saying how come i dont see you at the gym...pointing out my failures and talking about how they are still goingSent from my SM-G930P using BariatricPal mobile app Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ready4theday 35 Posted July 12, 2017 Yes! Im in the nursing world and surrounded by women. And some got motivated to go to the gym in the beginning and now its a constant comparison and saying how come i dont see you at the gym...pointing out my failures and talking about how they are still goingSent from my SM-G930P using BariatricPal mobile appI haven't had surgery yet (next month!) but I work in healthcare and am surrounded by women. Some are great and really supportive, which is how it should be, after all. I mean, we ARE in health care! But unfortunately, I have also seen how some react when other colleagues have had significant weight loss (via surgery or other means) and I'm dreading it. Hang in there. I think the people who continue to support you and cheer you on are the ones who are your true friends. I'd say just think of the others like the weight you're losing - just excess baggage that's keeping you down! 1 Kxw1976 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kxw1976 3 Posted July 12, 2017 Yes and i agree! They are extra weight to lose and i already know being around almost all women that they generally stab you in the back. People see you losing weight and looking better and they automatically think your life is improving. Ha! Not always the case. They get envious of you and think you cheated somehow because you got surgery. Well anyone can tell you that its still a daily struggle. They don't understand that extra struggle. The struggle to stay hydrated.. the struggle to eat when you just dont feel like it... the struggle to stay away from the "slider" foods like cheese itz... yum... the struggle to drink a Protein Shake meal supplement because you skipped a meal... the struggle to put yourself first which seemed easy in the beginning but old patterns take hold...etc etcSent from my SM-G930P using BariatricPal mobile app 2 Ready4theday and SlimDreams reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kxw1976 3 Posted July 12, 2017 We all talk about the foods to eat.. the medicine to take.. get some exercise... stuff most of us have heard our entire lives and we know this.... but one of the major pitfalls of putting weight back on even without surgery was always the way the support would leave you. So many people are in a silent competition with each other if one of you get ahead there's people just waiting to pull you back down like somebody else had said if you were always that fat friend and now even though you're not even looking at all the attention you're getting cuz honestly you don't even expect it they stop inviting you outSent from my SM-G930P using BariatricPal mobile app Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
