Is it normal to feel this awkward?

[Christina109 8]

Hello-- My name is Christina. I am a 34 year old mother, wife, daughter, friend, and coworker who lives in Michigan. For the past 28 or so years, I have struggled with my weight. I have been embarrassed by it, limited by it, and protected by it. Now, enough is enough. About 2 months ago I started down the journey of VSG. I am almost half way done with my "prep" work, and if all goes as planned I will be having surgery by year end, I feel awkward and embarrassed about this whole process. Hopefully I am not alone!

[GassyGurl 428]

I am embarrassed that I can't do it on my own. I'm successful at everything else, but I've never been successful with my weight. You're not alone!

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[kcmonkmi6912 8]

I am in Michigan as well and am 38 years old. My surgery is scheduled for July 31st

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[Half-Tum 404]

Personally I don't feel awkward or embarrassed about the surgery at all, just the opposite. I am excited and I am ready to change. I feel awkward and embarrassed about my weight now.

[Joann454 1,329]

I think I get what you're saying. I felt like people assumed I was a fat lazy person. Maybe it's what I thought about myself? Idk. But if you can try and not care what other people think you will feel no embarrassment or shame. The older I get the less I care. Don't feel embarrassed. This is not the easy way out! Good Luck!

[Christina109 8]

Thanks everyone for the comments, it really does make me feel better. I think Robin=Sleeve Hopeful summed it up nicely-- I have been a success in most things in life but weight loss. I have a great job, a wonderful husband and family, etc etc etc. I am a truly blessed person. The one thing that I have failed at (for the past 20 or so years) is losing weight and maintaining my health.

[BunnyJean 123]

Christina, me too. I was/am embarrassed as well. I have a wonderful husband, 2 great successful kids forging their own paths, I'm a success at my job but for 20 yrs, no matter what I have done, I have not been able to get off & keep off weight. That makes ME feel like I've failed. People who don't live in my house have no idea the things I've done & tried over the years. Even that stupid nasty oralistat or whatever it's called. My son has replaced the belt on my treadmill saying mom most people don't wear out the belt the treadmill is a shirt hanger lol. I thought about WLS for 3 yrs. I finally went to general meeting last OCT but still thought about it till May, when I finally made an appointment to start the steps. I'm probably going to have sleeve surgery end of Oct or thereafter. Def before end of year. My husband knows. My daughter knows. I have not told my son. I asked my skinny daughter if she was ever embarrassed about my obese status. She said omg nooooo! I told her about surgery & asked if she would be embarrassed that her mom had this surgery. She was so upset FOR ME. She said mom I do not know of another person who has worked harder than you have to lose weight. You have worked at it my entire life. I love you & never have been or will be embarrassed about you unless you use mommy spit on me to wash my adult face [emoji23]. I love that girl[emoji173]️ So my best friend knows & I told my hairdresser the other night because of the expected Hair loss I will probably experience. I'm already struggling with pretty good hair loss for 3 yrs now from menopause & Estrogen Dominant diagnosis from gyno. So you may feel & I may feel like we have failed but our loved ones & those that really matter in our lives don't feel that way. Am I afraid to fail at this? Most definitely. I don't even want to lose weight fast, I just want to lose it!!!! I don't even care if it's the standard 1 lb a week. When the the scale never moves, that's very discouraging. This will be our new tool. Much like WW treadmills & Atkins have been in the past. Will I tell additional people? I doubt it. Our society is judgy. & just because so & so goes on a diet & is able to succeed & keep it off does not mean everyone can. & yes genes matter!! If people say wow you've lost weight I may even come back with heck yes wasn't it about time? That's sure to end the conversation. So good luck to you in your journey. We both will stop being so harsh with ourselves & try to love ourselves just a bit more & give ourselves confidence. We count. We are not failures [emoji1303]

[BunnyJean 123]

You are absolutely right. I never take pics of me because that isn't ME! But it is. A friend of mine keeps saying take pics, no matter what you look like because your kids will want them after you are gone. One day, I hope to be ME again and comfortable with pics. I'm working through now and becoming less ashamed and embarrassed the more I research and the more I look forward to surgery! #WATW

Edited August 19, 2017 by BunnyJean