Relationship changes

[Julie2879 35]

My husband has supported me from the beginning. As a matter of fact, he was the one to even suggest the surgery. He had always seen me so depressed and down, he figured he would mention it to me as an option, he knows someone else who did it. He would love me no matter what I decided, and would support me in any decision. It has been 9 months since my surgery, and things are better now. He comments on how great I look now, but he always also says that he loved me back then, too. I couldn't ask for better support!

[skinnyminny78 0]

I'm so happy to hear these positive stories!

My boyfriend is average weight. I am doing my surgery in Mexico, because I am self-pay, so he won't be with me. I am trying to keep him informed and educated, but he doesn't really understand the struggles. Just today he ordered pizza, forgetting that I started my preop diet.
Anyone else face this type of situation?

I can totally relate. My husband is slightly over weight but 60lbs less then me, pretty average Ordered pizza in front of me during pre-op, went thru McDonalds drive thru with me in the car on my pre diet, drinks pop and alcohol non stop, buys all the food he likes which consists of chips, tacos, chocolate and rice. I find the hardest is when he questions why at 2 weeks out I can’t have just one French fry or BBQ pork chop or buys me creamery style ice cream with chunks in it for a treat. I asked for plain Greek yogurt and he bought vanilla light yogurt because he doesn’t realize the sugar difference. I gave up coffee which I had a super hard side effects bc I drank so much prior and now he wants to know when I can have it again, I have tried to discuss the surgery and life after but doesn’t want to know the details just wants me to be thin. I was 90lbs lighter when we got married 6 years ago, so I have changed allot. I went to Mexico alone, it was hard to be alone I was the only one that didn’t have a support person in the clinic but everyone was super friendly and would stop in my room to say hi or see if I wanted to join in on their walk. As well you are recovering and tired allot. The hardest part for me was the hotel time, it was very lonely and having to set timers to take your drugs, sip Water and you had to do everything in the hotel for yourself. As well no one to just talk with. Like my first sip of water or my first Jello lol your pretty excited. I was sad I couldn’t share that with him. I did ask him to make me jello when I was due home and he made 2 batches of it. So I think they just need to learn by our day to day living our eating choices are going to be much different. Something to note; I was a heavy drinker so this has also changed in our relationship for the better, as I haven’t drank since the pre op diet started. Which as you can imagine is a massive adjustment which so far he is handling quite well.

[mitchjoann132010 288]

My husband and I are high school sweethearts and have been together 8.5 years. He has been there from my skinny high school cheerleading days all the way up to the 235 highest weight on my 5 foot frame. He is very skinny at 5'11 and 155 lbs. He eats whatever he wants and has a hard time putting on weight.

He has gone to every single appointment with me over the past 10 months which has been over 35 4 hour round-trips so far and he has taken off for my appointments post op as well. He is also taking a 2 week vacation to care for me during my healing after surgery which I will greatly need dealing with our 11 month 80 lb lab.

Although he tells me all the time that I do not need the surgery and hold my weight well proportioned (he's just being a good husband) he has supported me through the entire process. I think this is because we have had long talks and he knows my goal is to run 5-10 miles again 5 days a week like I did in high school. I loved running and the mental break it gave me from my anxiety.

I am on day 13 of my clear liquid pre-op diet (surgery is in 2 days) and he eats before he comes home and only says he has to make a "stop" so he doesn't rub in my face what he is eating. Therefore, he is done eating before he comes home. He waits until I'm out of the room before eating anything else as well. I have never asked him to do this, he just does out of a sign of support.

He has also rallied all of my loved ones that know (not that many I do not want the whole world to know my business) and they are all doing the same thing. I cannot believe the amount of support I have received from him and my loved ones. It makes this whole journey seem a lot less lonely.

[TexasMommy80 297]

My boyfriend of 5 years is a body builder but prefers a more curvy woman. He was really against me having the surgery at first. Now that the surgery has passed, he has been great. He is going to help me with a weight lifting program starting in a few weeks, so I am excited about that. I’ve always been athletic, even though I am heavier, I just had issues with Portion Control. I also know my confidence has been suffering the past few years, so I think this will be so good for us.


Age: 37
Height: 5’6
BMI: 37
VSG: 4/16/18
GW: 160
MFP: Fit4LifeAR

[sammi123 116]

My boyfriend is very supportive. During my Psych eval, the dr did say that if your relationship is good before it will be fine, but if it was bad before surgery it will just get worse. He stated that even with the best of relationships your spouse will at times think about the weight you will lose and the thoughts of your cheating. Because we are all human and that's how we think.

With my fella, I tell him to eat what he wants. Just because I am changing my eating habits, I don't want him to feel like he is having to miss out on the food he enjoys. I focus on myself and what I need to do and still allow him to feel like he isn't deprived. That way we are both happy:)

[ancirasd 44]

Hi all! I'm am getting sleeves on 7/12/17. I am wondering how your weight loss journey has impacted your relationship with your significant other... good, bad, ugly.
I have heard a lot about how differently the world will treat me, but I'm interested in what I should prepare for at home.
Thanks!

Congrats on your weight loss journey! It’s long road and it’s hard & stressful sometimes especially weigh the relationship part. Mainly because you’re working on your relationship you have with yourself and also with others. I was sleeved nov 28 and I’m down 96.5 pounds so far. I’d say my relationship ship has been pretty impacted by my weight loss journey for the good, the bad and the ugly. I got sick after my surgery and I ended up having a near death experience so on top of a already difficult situation was more stress and emotions. My boyfriend stuck by my side every way. He drove me to the hospital the day of my surgery with my mom and sat with me as long as he could before work and came to visit as much as possible when I got home. I was hospitalized two more times after my surgery. Once in December and again in January but that one I was taken in by ambulance. My relationship changed a lot and my boyfriend and I both eat really well and he changed his lifestyle around because of me. He’s lost 10 pounds and is still trying to lose some weight but he struggles a lot just with his work schedule. I think with everything that happened to me and to us we have grown better as a unit and are capable of anything we set out to do. But it’s still hard. Especially right after surgery when you can’t eat anything and you just want to smack them for eating in front if you but you get past it. I wish you the best of luck!

[SleeveinIL 386]

My husband has been supportive when I let him. What that means is I was trying to do this myself, I got myself into this situation, I will get myself out of it, right? Well that wasn't working for me and caused me a lot of stress. I had to let him in to see/learn the good, bad and ugly about how I feel about my weight and what my weight actually was. I was really worried that once he learned my weight and my everyday struggles that he would reject me. It has been the exact opposite. This has been super good for me and a learning process along the way.