Worried About Wife

[ConcernedHusband 2]

Hello there!

I am a concerned husband and need some help, I couldn't find a section that involved the significant others of people who have had gastric surgeries. So I'm hoping that you all can help me.

My wife is now 7 months post op gastric sleeve. She has done a fantastic job so far, she has so far lost over 100 pounds, and has passed her expected weight loss goals. Her doctor even mentioned that he thought she was doing great, and was even ahead of schedule. She's currently working out multiple times a week and is working on gaining muscle which is fantastic.

I am growing concerned lately because she has not been very forthcoming with how much food or Water intake she is consuming. As far as I can tell she has maybe 2 meals a day tops, small oatmeal in the morning and maybe a higher Protein meal in the evening, but not very much of either, maybe 2 oz. Her Snacks generally consist of foods like chips, pretzels, popcorn, and veggies. More often than not its popcorn though. She also is only consuming around 20-30 oz of water in a day, and that's a good day. When excising she does somewhere from 3-8 hours a week.

When we get home from work each day, and we talk about our days, i eventually ask her about her diet for the day, and its mostly "I didn't have time to eat today" or "I forgot to drink water". She will go a day without water regularly.

What can i do help her out? I don't want to nag her, and I don't want her to stop talking to me about her daily life. But I'm concerned about her.

[PatientEleventyBillion 851]

Just mention it here and there -- that's all you can do. I did this regarding my wife and her soda habit. If I nagged her every day I know she would get defensive and turn off the switch from listening to me. Of course, I knew about all her medical conditions and how the soda plays into it, so I had an overwhelming amount of science behind me to help her understand, along with doctor visits we did together so the doctor and I had talked about it as well.

Just be there for her when she needs you, and let her do what she does. Sometimes people learn or come around when they're ready.

[hmills653 365]

The Water is the biggest concern. I'm only 2 weeks post op and its hard. I still can't get down 64 oz in a day. I can say I fell food at around 30 oz a day. I'm worried about being able to drink when I go back to work. I'm a nurse and were not allowed to have drinks out of the break room and its hard to run back there for frequent sips. It's not unusual to go a 12 hr shift and only drink with my lunch, which is no longer an option. Suggest to her to carry done of the little 6 oz waters with her. They're small enough to throw in your purse or jacket pocket and pull out to sip more frequently. That's what I plan on trying. Just make sure she knows your just worried about her health. So is my husband, I understand.

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[Berry78 4,261]

I think you have a right to be worried. It sounds like she is developing some very dangerous habits.

Try to get her family doctor involved. She should go in for a checkup that includes a urine test (to check for dehydration), as well as bloodwork that tests for Vitamin deficiencies.

If the doctor finds things wrong, then it is medical advice she is exposed to, rather than a nagging husband

I'm 3 months postop, and eat/drink ALL THE TIME.. and my bloodwork just came back . Deficient in vit. D and A. A!!!! You know.. carrots! Craziness.

You did right, looking around for help. [Pat on the back]..

[MBird 298]

Hello there!
I am a concerned husband and need some help, I couldn't find a section that involved the significant others of people who have had gastric surgeries. So I'm hoping that you all can help me.
My wife is now 7 months post op gastric sleeve. She has done a fantastic job so far, she has so far lost over 100 pounds, and has passed her expected weight loss goals. Her doctor even mentioned that he thought she was doing great, and was even ahead of schedule. She's currently working out multiple times a week and is working on gaining muscle which is fantastic.
I am growing concerned lately because she has not been very forthcoming with how much food or Water intake she is consuming. As far as I can tell she has maybe 2 meals a day tops, small oatmeal in the morning and maybe a higher Protein meal in the evening, but not very much of either, maybe 2 oz. Her Snacks generally consist of foods like chips, pretzels, popcorn, and veggies. More often than not its popcorn though. She also is only consuming around 20-30 oz of water in a day, and that's a good day. When excising she does somewhere from 3-8 hours a week.
When we get home from work each day, and we talk about our days, i eventually ask her about her diet for the day, and its mostly "I didn't have time to eat today" or "I forgot to drink water". She will go a day without water regularly.
What can i do help her out? I don't want to nag her, and I don't want her to stop talking to me about her daily life. But I'm concerned about her.

The two ounces of food with snacks is normal, many patients of wls forget to eat but gently remind her she's working out and doesn't want to ruin her heart by skipping meals. She can I enjoy muscle skipping meals, and that includes heart muscle.

The water is concerning. Maybe suggest a bariatric support group you can both attend, or suggest she make a schedule she adheres to for water.

Wishing you the best.

[Berry78 4,261]

I respectfully disagree. 2oz, twice a day is wholey insufficient for 7 months postop. She should be eating at least 4oz at a time, 3-5 times a day. Not necessarily 4oz of solid steak, but at least 4oz of Soup and the like (shoot, how about 8oz soup!)

Of course, it's hard to tell how much she's eating for those Snacks, but the snacks don't have Protein, so she isn't meeting that requirement. It is hard to get 60+ grams of protein a day (unless she's drinking protein shakes), and she is in no way getting it.

She won't be growing muscles, unless she consumes the protein to fuel their growth. Simple as that.

If she complains of being full after 2 oz of something soft, she needs to see her surgeon again to be evaluated for a stricture.

[travelergirl 142]

I would try having some flavored water in the house. Whether it is crystal light or mio drops or Vitamin Water etc...having some options might inspire her.

If you have the info you may want to get some advice from the person who did a psych consult before her surgery. It sounds like she may also have some potential eating disorders developing.

Thank you for reaching out.

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