Buyers remorse hits hard

[B.Annie 290]

I'm 3 weeks out and was so excited that I hadn't experienced buyers remorse... yet. Everything was smooth and weight was coming off.

THEN it hit. The traditional woman's "week before" cravings hit and so did the buyers remorse. I miss taking real bites of food and enjoying feeling full to my soul. Warm gooey food. This new full feeling is all wrong. It doesn't give leeway. One bite too much turns into horror. It's painful, burns, and just plain sucks. My head hunger this week has been worse than ever and it is mixing with my real hunger to make it hard to tell which is which. I've over done myself more yesterday and today and have thrown up 4 times by necessity. It's like all of a sudden I regressed mentally to forget everything. I've been wanting the enjoyment of food so badly that I tortured myself physically.

Tomorrow is a new day and I'm excited about it. I know I will do better and I'm confident I'll get over this mental hiccup. I'm just mad. I WANT to enjoy food, but now it seems it's officially just for survival.

HW: 328 (02/17/17)

SW: 271 (05/24/17)

CW: 253

[AK_Bookworm 116]

I'm 3 weeks out and was so excited that I hadn't experienced buyers remorse... yet. Everything was smooth and weight was coming off.
THEN it hit. The traditional woman's "week before" cravings hit and so did the buyers remorse. I miss taking real bites of food and enjoying feeling full to my soul. Warm gooey food. This new full feeling is all wrong. It doesn't give leeway. One bite too much turns into horror. It's painful, burns, and just plain sucks. My head hunger this week has been worse than ever and it is mixing with my real hunger to make it hard to tell which is which. I've over done myself more yesterday and today and have thrown up 4 times by necessity. It's like all of a sudden I regressed mentally to forget everything. I've been wanting the enjoyment of food so badly that I tortured myself physically.
Tomorrow is a new day and I'm excited about it. I know I will do better and I'm confident I'll get over this mental hiccup. I'm just mad. I WANT to enjoy food, but now it seems it's officially just for survival.
HW: 328 (02/17/17)
SW: 271 (05/24/17)
CW: 253

I could have wrote this myself... in almost in tears because of the head hunger. It's so bad and few times I've over ate today thinking it was hunger when really it was head hunger... and boy am I a b***h because of it.

[James Marusek 5,244]

It is common to do a little experimentation after surgery. That is how we learn. Some people can tolerate anything after surgery while others have problems and can tolerate very little. Weight loss is achieved during the short weight loss phase through meal volume control. The two operative words here are short and volume. So if you want to maximize your weight loss during this phase, you need to adhere to the program guidelines. I slid into the maintenance phase at 7 months.

[Guest]

10 hours ago, B.Annie said:

I'm 3 weeks out and was so excited that I hadn't experienced buyers remorse... yet. Everything was smooth and weight was coming off.

THEN it hit. The traditional woman's "week before" cravings hit and so did the buyers remorse. I miss taking real bites of food and enjoying feeling full to my soul. Warm gooey food. This new full feeling is all wrong. It doesn't give leeway. One bite too much turns into horror. It's painful, burns, and just plain sucks. My head hunger this week has been worse than ever and it is mixing with my real hunger to make it hard to tell which is which. I've over done myself more yesterday and today and have thrown up 4 times by necessity. It's like all of a sudden I regressed mentally to forget everything. I've been wanting the enjoyment of food so badly that I tortured myself physically.

Tomorrow is a new day and I'm excited about it. I know I will do better and I'm confident I'll get over this mental hiccup. I'm just mad. I WANT to enjoy food, but now it seems it's officially just for survival.

HW: 328 (02/17/17)

SW: 271 (05/24/17)

CW: 253

Part of the challenge will be to change your mindset so that you, "Eat to live, not live to eat" food is no longer your friend, it can be an enemy if you provoke it. It can lead you right back to where you started before the surgery and all that you have accomplished will be for naught.

Eat to survive is the correct mindset. Some people actually go through a grieving process because they lose the one friend that was always there in good times and bad times - food. Once we accept our friend is dead, and needs to stay dead, and understand that it was no friend at all according to our waist sizes, then we can move past the mourning process and find a new friend to focus our time on. Mine has been new clothing. Every new size I get to buy is like meeting a new acquaintance who is rewarding me with smaller waist sizes, praise for better fitting shirts and pants. That's the kind of friend's I need.

[B.Annie 290]

. Some people actually go through a grieving process because they lose the one friend that was always there in good times and bad times - food.

This is me. I'm just grieving it right now and didn't prepare ENOUGH for this. I know it's just food and I never thought I would grieve it, but i am and have to go through the process. At first it was denial that I even had a problem. Then it was straight up anger. Today I'm feeling a transition to sadness.

And yet I also feel like it is so stupid of me to be mourning something as ridiculous as food so I have shame and condemnation mixed in everywhere.

Such an interesting process.

HW: 328 (02/17/17)

SW: 271 (05/24/17)

CW: 253

[Delete my account 22]

I'm a week and a half post surgery and I have been going through this. What makes it worse is that I started my period 2 days after being discharged from the hospital and my mother in law was here to help so obviously my family still has to eat, but just smelling the food made me break down a few times. I'm sure there will be many more of them to come, but it's strange because food itself has never been a comfort to me, I am not an emotional eater, I don't snack and I don't really do sweets. I think the problem I am having is that all things in the full liquid phase is basically sweet, Protein options are all sweet, drink mixes are sweet, jello-sweet, everything aside from broth which only goes so far for me as a person that would much rather have something savory and salty. I had surgery due to weight gain after total thyroid removal has made gain weight and made it impossible to lose weight, I had been killing myself for a long time to even lose 5 pounds and doctors said this was a viable option to help me. We eat well and healthy on a regular basis here at home and all I want is some damn chicken and tomatoes or deli sliced turkey with cheese rolled up into it and here I am drinking another damn shake! It's a short time but that doesn't mean it still doesn't suck and anyone who said they didn't have an issue like this and didn't have "buyers remorse" at some point in their journey is a damn liar! Hope things get better for you, I know I'm trying to take every day as it comes even if it comes with tears.

[Ouiser 19]

On ‎6‎/‎12‎/‎2017 at 11:37 PM, B.Annie said:

I'm 3 weeks out and was so excited that I hadn't experienced buyers remorse... yet. Everything was smooth and weight was coming off.

THEN it hit. The traditional woman's "week before" cravings hit and so did the buyers remorse. I miss taking real bites of food and enjoying feeling full to my soul. Warm gooey food. This new full feeling is all wrong. It doesn't give leeway. One bite too much turns into horror. It's painful, burns, and just plain sucks. My head hunger this week has been worse than ever and it is mixing with my real hunger to make it hard to tell which is which. I've over done myself more yesterday and today and have thrown up 4 times by necessity. It's like all of a sudden I regressed mentally to forget everything. I've been wanting the enjoyment of food so badly that I tortured myself physically.

Tomorrow is a new day and I'm excited about it. I know I will do better and I'm confident I'll get over this mental hiccup. I'm just mad. I WANT to enjoy food, but now it seems it's officially just for survival.

HW: 328 (02/17/17)

SW: 271 (05/24/17)

CW: 253

This remains to be something that terrifies me. My surgery is scheduled a few day before my birthday at the end of the summer. But I think at the end of the day - it will be worth it.

[MFM008 44]

This remains to be something that terrifies me. My surgery is scheduled a few day before my birthday at the end of the summer. But I think at the end of the day - it will be worth it.

I made sure mine was scheduled 3 days after my birthday.
I haven't eaten the same since.

Sent from my SGH-M919 using BariatricPal mobile app

[Guest]

On ‎6‎/‎13‎/‎2017 at 6:41 AM, B.Annie said:

This is me. I'm just grieving it right now and didn't prepare ENOUGH for this. I know it's just food and I never thought I would grieve it, but i am and have to go through the process. At first it was denial that I even had a problem. Then it was straight up anger. Today I'm feeling a transition to sadness.

And yet I also feel like it is so stupid of me to be mourning something as ridiculous as food so I have shame and condemnation mixed in everywhere.

Such an interesting process.

HW: 328 (02/17/17)

SW: 271 (05/24/17)

CW: 253

Shame and condemnation shouldn't even factor into it. You're experiencing what thousands upon thousands of other patients have been going through in the many years that WLS medicine has been around. I would encourage you to own the problem, there is nothing wrong with admitting that we have issues with food that were unhealthy. The vast majority of us had food issues, some more severe than others. Understand you are no longer the person you once were, rather you are being "reborn" into a new healthier version of you. You can and will succeed.

[B.Annie 290]

Thanks all for the responses. I've been much better since the post. I think, mentally, I had to go through those 2 days of agony (physically) to learn first hand what I've read about so much. Yesterday was amazing. I only ate very little but when I did eat, I took it slow and stopped when full. It didn't feel so bad to stop and I was happily content.

This morning I heated up a bit of leftover hamburger meat and put an egg on top. The flavor was amazing and I had a hard time taking it slow, but I did stop when I felt restricted (tight and slightly uncomfortable) after only 3 small bites - less than an ounce. It's amazing how different foods fill you up quicker than others.

Anyway, I had another bite ready to go on my fork that my old brain was fighting me about. "Finish the food on your plate." And "don't leave food on your fork". All those things I spent to long learning as a child. My new brain put my food out of sight and it helped. See, I've been addicted to "cleaning my plate" and having "eyes bigger than my stomach" when I fill my plate. Both things are just habits I'm working on breaking with this tool of wls.

Edited June 15, 2017 by B.Annie

[jennyqp 62]

I'm 10 months out today. I felt the same way. I ate too fast ( my two bites that I could eat ) I would foam and throw up it was horrible. It will get better. I wish I did this 10 years ago. You will too.


Jen

[blondie66 271]

You will be able to eat everything in approximately 1 to 2 years. It's only a short time of deprivation. At the beginning it feels like the end of the world but honestly you can eat pretty much everything in time. This is time to use this 1 year opportunity to seize the moment cause it will pass as your stomach heals and you will be able to eat more. No one can tell I've had the surgery by what I eat at almost 2 years post op... just that I don't eat lots but I eat everything... Cookies, chips, burger just not much. I also try and eat healthy!! salad and chicken but a girls gotta live

[MFM008 44]

You will be able to eat everything in approximately 1 to 2 years. It's only a short time of deprivation. At the beginning it feels like the end of the world but honestly you can eat pretty much everything in time. This is time to use this 1 year opportunity to seize the moment cause it will pass as your stomach heals and you will be able to eat more and lots.

Yes at 7 months out I can eat small portions of almost anything. My stomach still has trouble with greasy stuff though.

Sent from my SGH-M919 using BariatricPal mobile app

[Guest]

4 hours ago, B.Annie said:

I had another bite ready to go on my fork that my old brain was fighting me about. "Finish the food on your plate." And "don't leave food on your fork". All those things I spent to long learning as a child. My new brain put my food out of sight and it helped. See, I've been addicted to "cleaning my plate" and having "eyes bigger than my stomach" when I fill my plate. Both things are just habits I'm working on breaking with this tool of wls.

It's never a failure as long as you learned from it. Well done. Back on the road to success.