needing to start over

[knitchique 0]

I have been absent for nine months. I believe I have been ignoring the band, and trying to go on with "normal" life. BUT...and this is a big but...I haven't lost any more weight, have probably, no definately put on some, and I p.b. nearly every day!

I think I got into the mind set that I was a failure, so I'm going to not think of failure,because thinking of failure brings more failure, so that included not thinking about the band.

I did just recently go in to have the band checked out, and under fluro, it was fine, actually the restriction was such that the Dr. would normally add saline, but since I am p.b.ing so much, we decided not to do anything. Which adds to my failure feeling. Oh, and I have only had one fill with only 1cc in my band!!

My dietician is so sweet. She says "you are not a failure, you will just start over like you just had the band put in." That is easy to say, hard to do.

I dislike being a downer, but I really do need to start over, and I need all the help I can get! Thanks for letting me vent!

Sheryl

banded 10-6-03

[Iluvharleys 15]

Sheryl - Starting over don't have to be that difficult. Just start by making better choices, like eating your hard Protein first. Take one step at a time, don't try to do everything at once. Make sure you don't drink with your meals or 1 hour after. Once you have accomplished that, then add a little exercise in, and before you know it, you will be back on track. Come here and talk with us, we will try to help you any way we can. I find if I come to this board everyday, not only do I learn new things, I get a lot of support.

Good Luck, and keep us posted on your progress.

[New Hope 37]

Sheryl, how much weight have you lost since you've had your band? Please give yourself credit. Thankfully, you've had your band checked out and it's good to go. I've been a "slacker" through the holidays, but thankfully my band has kept me from going totally berserk. We have a Weekly scale Challenge and a Water Challenge here. How about joining in? It really helps to check in here regularly for support, encouragement, and a place to "confess" all your little bad things. We understand because we're fighting the same demons. Best of luck to you!

[nightingale2u 42]

Hi Sheryl,

I have been doing a bit of the same... minus the PBing... and I can't think of a better place for you to get the support and encouragement you need. It's a New Year... perfect time for a new start... never easy but easier if there are others fighting the same fight along side of you.

Darcy

[Alexandra 55]

Sheryl, what you're going through should probably be considered one of the phases of banding, since it's so common. I think once we get to a point where we've had the band for a long time, we think we know what we're doing and that's all there is for us. But it's not true! If you're PBing a lot that means you're eating too quickly or not chewing enough. It's very easy to lose sight of really how little room you have in your small pouch, so listen to what your band is telling you and slow down!

The good news is that your esophagus is still plenty sensitive and telling you that you're overdoing it. So you are still in very good shape with regard to being able to make it work. That PBing is your signal to BE GOOD TO YOURSELF, eat slowly and only in small nibbles. This will let you lose weight, protect your band and pouch, and utilize the tool as it was meant to be used.

It's not over yet! There's always a second chance with banding as long as you still have your band.

[La_madam 20]

Sheryl

You took the first step and realized it and came here for support. That is half the battle.

I think many of us have struggled lately with the Holidays. I know I have but today is a new day and a New Year and I feel confident I can get this monkey off my back and start losing again. I have made some simple goals to follow one day at a time.

Support has been key to my success..so maybe coming here more often and posting will help you, getting involved in the m,any challenges this board has..We have an exercise challenge, Water challenge and a weekly scale challenge.....Give them a try!

[ShrinkingViolet 1]

Sheryl, I am new here, but welcome back!

I have no doubt that all of us in our long weight loss journey know what it's like to "start over" again, and the important thing is that you are here now and you are going to do it. If you've only gained a few pounds in nine months, then you have only taken a teeny tiny step back (practically stood still) and so going forward will be great! Without the band, nine months could mean forty-five pounds or more for me, so perhaps it helped keep you from sliding back!

Glad you're here and back on track!

[MeganA 35]

Sheryl-

You don't have to feel alone in your struggle! That's the best part of this forum...there are people at all different stages of banding and all different emotional stages after banding.

We're almost band sisters- I had mine placed on 10/15/03. And Ilive in Minnesota. I'd be more than happy to chat with you on the phone (email me for the number) or meet you for a cup of coffee sometime.

This journey really is about a whole lot of moments of starting new.

I don't know what your doctor recommended..but here's my story and what has worked for me.

I went through a period where I PBed ALOT. Almost every meal. It's kind of a viscious cycle.. once you PB, the stomach gets irritaed and swollen and it doesn't take much to do it again...and again...and again. But YOU"RE HUNGRY!!! So you push it because you're either really hungry or head hungry and all the stress of PBing is making you think you are a failure so you need to eat more to make THAT pain go away but the band won't let you.

The very first thing I'd say is to get the PBing under control. You can do that in just a few days (since you're band is in ok shape). I'd recommend taking two days on liquids. Soups- especially yummy creamy ones- treat yourself to all the Soups you usually don't "let" yourself have. Let your stomach rest. After two days, go to mushy for a day or two. Then go to real food. But cut everything up into bites like you'd feed a toddler. Measure out portions. If you need a fill you are going to be able to eat more than what your doctor probably wants you to but that's ok!!!! You're stop signal may not be working right because of the PBing...you have to work towards getting to know what it is again. And if you feel like you want to keep eating after your band has obviously told you to stop...walk away from your plate...but keep it out. Don't put it in the fridge, or in the trash, etc. Leave it out so you feel like as soon as that stop signal goes away you can have more. I find that I've usually gotten so busy doing something else that I forget that I wanted more. Or- I'm satisfied and it doesn't look good anymore. I don't know why, but my brain wants whatever I can't have worse than anything I can. I've used this trick a lot- and sometimes I go back and have a few more bites but most of the time I'm fine with what I ate before.

Once you haven't PBed in awhile (I'm sure your doctor and you discussed this) then go in and get a fill. This will significantly help the hunger issue and then you can concentrate on loosing weight.

You are not a failure in the least. You are fully cabable of getting yourself back on track. I would say that your focus should not be on loosing weight at this time (what? But that's why I got the band!) instead it should be on getting healthy. Making sure you have a HEALTHY stomach and band. There is plenty of time to loose weight.

Just my two cents...hang in there. You aren't alone in your struggle!!

Megan

[knitchique 0]

Thanks to all of you for your kind words of encouragement.

At about two and a half months after banding, I had lost 25 pounds! I was very excited. My first and only fill was sometime in february, which I fainted at! I had 1cc put in, and proceded to lose another five lbs before I plateaued. So all in all, I lost 30 lbs, at the most. And since then I have gained about 6-10lbs back.

I am quite certain that my main problem lies with not taking SMALL enough bites and not chewing enough. It seems like I should have this down by now, but I guess I never did get it down in the first place. I find it VERY hard to take small bites. I don't know why, maybe it is because I want to be "normal" and enjoy my food. I really love food, but don't we all, and sometines I think I love it more than I want a band. I really just have to LEARN all over again, no...LEARN the right way this time, how to eat with this band, and then be able to really enjoy the little bit of food I can eat, and keep it down!

I had thought back in the beginning ( my beginning) that I should find a small egg timer...a ONE MINUTE egg timer, you know with the sand and hour-glass shape, and turn it over when I had taken a bite, and chew until it ran out, or wait til it had run out before taking another bite. I never did find one of those, though.

If any of you have any suggestions on how I can CRAM the right way to do this into my head I would really appreciate it!

Thanks so much again!

Sheryl

[kimalicious 5]

Ok, I am 2 months out and I am going to start over too. I just now feel a little restriction and am not making the best of it. I am following all of the bandster rules and making an appointment as we speak for another fill. I need to get on the exercise bandwagon. I am starting over NOW!

[leatha_g 4]

If any of you have any suggestions on how I can CRAM the right way to do this into my head I would really appreciate it!

Don't feel alone, Sheryl. We're all still dealing with this too. Even after 18 months, I still have to remind myself that I can't take too big of a bite or that I can't drink with my food. I also still have to beat it in my head that I REALLY can't eat that much at a time and overload my plate on occasion.

Dessert size plates help. Using cups instead of bowls. Consciously NOT allowing a drink nearby when you're eating. Cutting your food into pencil eraser size bites. I never use a regular size plate anymore. I don't even like them. It'll come, you just have to consciously make these changes and keep doing them until they're ingrained in your whole routine. You can do it!! Just keep coming here and learning new techniques and allow the support that is available to you. We're all in this together!