Big enormous Secret

[Kimberley68 1]

I had my sleeve surgery last July in Mexico. I'm almost at my one year mark and am hoping to be under 170. I've lost 60 pounds, abit dissapointed.

But I have a huge Secret and I thought I would join a support group. I have kept my surgery a secret from EVERYONE, my husband, mom, sister, best friend do not know.

I was able to fly to Mexico when my family were at the cottage, I told them I had to work. During that time I did it all alone and not telling anyone. It's hard to keep such a big secret about a major surgery. But I can't ever tell tell them. I'm hoping to get support. This is the first time I am reaching out.

[DebSmiles 62]

Wow! Congratulations on your courage to step out and make a change in your life! You are doing great! Support is important and this is a great place to start. I only told 3 people in my life and they are very supportive (I think). Anyway, I get a lot of support online from this group and there are Facebook groups for bariatric patients. There is a whole world of us out there so find a group, connect and keep moving.

Again, your progress is great so far, so don't give up. Just keep on moving. Oh and feel free to message me anytime

[B.Annie 290]

You've got my support and complete empathy. Although my husband knows, no one else does. It is a huge secret for me too and I would be devastated if it ever got out.
Today is the hardest for me. I'm 2 weeks post op and 4 days post pneumonia diagnosis. With all the meds and supplements, my stomach is pure acid. My husband has been sleeping on the couch since my return home (we have kittens we are trying to rehome and they're currently playful at night), I've tried to initiate sexy times on 5 occasions since surgery and have been denied all but once. I have 5 kids who I have to care for and a husband whose working long hours in this season. I'm mentally and physically exhausted. Which leads to every other emotion and feeling being exaggerated.
Today is hard. Tomorrow will be easier. I don't have support groups in my area and the only place I can go is here. Welcome and know that you are understood.


HW: 328 (02/21/17)
SW: 271 (05/24/17)
CW: 262

[Redmaxx 740]

I tried that but rumors quickly spread that I was sick. Congratulations on keeping it a secret.

[Sosewsue61 3,185]

Wow. Congrats! I wish you well.

[blizair09 3,250]

Even though it wasn't the route I took, I get not telling people about your surgery. But how do you not tell your husband? I would feel so betrayed if my partner made a life decision like surgery without talking with me. And more than that, how do you justify how you have to eat and all of the follow-up that this journey requires?

I'm not trying to be judgmental. I'm just trying to understand how one pulls something like this off. The guilt would crush me, personally...

[MSinger 348]

3 hours ago, Redmaxx said:

I tried that but rumors quickly spread that I was sick. Congratulations on keeping it a secret.

Ugh... I am so glad I work from home because my workplace likes to spread rumors about people who are losing weight. I had a friend who had bariatric surgery while we were still working in the office and one day a lady who otherwise never talks to her came up and asked if she had cancer. Some people...

Sorry to derail, OP, but these boards are a good source of support and information. If you don't have the support system at home you can always reach out here