Post op depression

[RunningWithScissors 74]

Glad to see someone talking about this. I am about 5 months out and just starting to feel somewhat normal again. I never completely realized the power food had over me.

I have a loving and supportive husband and family. No problems there. But breaking up with food was traumatic. No joke! I felt depressed and empty the first 4 months. Like someone died. It does take awhile to grieve for what you have lost, but I am not regretting it in the least. Even though my weight loss has been slow and frustrating, it was the best money I have ever spent! I feel so much better physically. I'm 56 years old, and have some arthritis. Carrying around an extra 90 lbs was pretty painful

Hang in there. It does get better. I have finally stopped grieving and just accepted that food is no longer the central focus of my life. I really don't think much about it anymore. I think those first few months when you have to be super focused on what you're eating (and not eating) it actually makes it tougher. Once you are eating normal food and get into a food routine you can stop obsessing over the food and then it becomes easier.

[got2lovejenn 4]

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. To be honest, I am, too. I've been feeling weaker, more numb, and joyless in the weeks since the surgery. Nothing tastes good, I rarely eat actual food because it is not worth it, I still have to chug down so much Water and Protein shakes-- it's hard to do that and fit food in, too. I've already dropped two sizes, but it feels hollow and pointless. I can't keep up with my regular life, not even close-- working a high pressure job, taking care of my 4 year old, trying to at least help with all the household stuff, dealing with things like birthday parties, school trips, setting up tours for summer camp, dentist appointments, etc. I am exhausted and in tears almost every night and morning, and I don't know how I can keep up when I feel like I'm just a fraction of my former energy and strength.
I try very hard to keep up with water and protein, but some days are better than others-- I don't have time to just sit and monitor every half hour my liquid and protein intake, so if work is really hectic I will look up at 2pm and think, crap, I have only had 8 ounces of water and no protein today, I'll never catch up. So in the afternoon my work and family slide because I'm sitting there sipping both as fast as I can, feeling so grossed out and sipping sipping sipping. I am trying the Isopure drink, to do two in one, but... it tastes pretty revolting, honestly. Everything has the same fake tasting, sweet protein taste. Still, I drink it, I don't want to get sicker feeling! But I want real food, salty food. Not junk-- a grilled chicken salad would be heaven! I just want my normal energy back, so my son doesn't ask me every morning, "Are you *still* sick today, mommy?" and have to deal with me not having energy to play with him like he is used to.
I know in the long term this will all get better. But how long am I supposed to put my entire life on hold-- I didn't expect to be reduced to such weakness that I couldn't function. The surgery itself has long healed, but the starvation is wearing me out both mentally and physically.
Sorry-- this is not a very helpful reply, I guess. [emoji4] Just to say that I understand feeling regretful and sad, you are not the only one. And if you need to vent, do it! Let's have faith that this WILL eventually get better, right?

Wow I'm so sorry, how long ago did you have the surgery? I hate how everything is measured and timed but I know it will get better and will be worth it I hope. It's hard not having any one to hang out with or talk to about it. You can email me if you would like got2lovejenn@gmail.com it would be nice to vent

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[joannrmn 20]

so sorry to hear what your going through... but I know exactly what it feels like.The sad part for us now is that this is our new normal. it wasn't until my fourth month that I decided to start introducing foods again... was tired of living of Soup and Protein Drinks. At this point I have come to know what I can eat.. and eating more frequent meals since after 2 hours I am starving yet again. I also continue to have my Premier Protein drinks 2x a day.. Try them they are delicious and a great way to get your Protein. You need to take control if you want to get some energy back so you can function. Unfortunately they don't prepare us mentally for what's coming... it's all about the money they can pull in. ... i will always regret this decision. Praying with time can feel somewhat normal again....good luck

[Joann454 1,329]

so sorry to hear what your going through... but I know exactly what it feels like.The sad part for us now is that this is our new normal. it wasn't until my fourth month that I decided to start introducing foods again... was tired of living of Soup and Protein drinks. At this point I have come to know what I can eat.. and eating more frequent meals since after 2 hours I am starving yet again. I also continue to have my Premier Protein drinks 2x a day.. Try them they are delicious and a great way to get your protein. You need to take control if you want to get some energy back so you can function. Unfortunately they don't prepare us mentally for what's coming... it's all about the money they can pull in. ... i will always regret this decision. Praying with time can feel somewhat normal again....good luck

I felt very well informed about what life would be like after surgery. Hearing it and living it is quite different though. I feel so bad for the folks regretting their decision to have this surgery. Have you sought out a therapist. You should t have to live the rest of your life miserable.

[blizair09 3,250]

36 minutes ago, joannrmn said:

so sorry to hear what your going through... but I know exactly what it feels like.The sad part for us now is that this is our new normal. it wasn't until my fourth month that I decided to start introducing foods again... was tired of living of Soup and Protein Drinks. At this point I have come to know what I can eat.. and eating more frequent meals since after 2 hours I am starving yet again. I also continue to have my Premier Protein drinks 2x a day.. Try them they are delicious and a great way to get your Protein. You need to take control if you want to get some energy back so you can function. Unfortunately they don't prepare us mentally for what's coming... it's all about the money they can pull in. ... i will always regret this decision. Praying with time can feel somewhat normal again....good luck

I have couple of questions:

1. Why did you wait until 4 months to introduce foods again? Did your doctor tell you to do this? My plan was among the most conservative I have ever seen, and I was done with liquids after 3 weeks.

2. What is it that makes you have this regret? Is it about being able to eat whatever you want? Is about the quantity of food? When you define "normal," is it being able to eat as you did before?

I agree that the mental part of this journey is the most significant part and that many, many WLS patients are ill-equipped to deal with it. But at some point, you have to decide that food is just food and that if you want to be healthy, you should embrace the tool that the sleeve provides to you.

[joannrmn 20]

The reason I began to introduce variety of foods around the fourth month was because after being cleared back to solids had a very hard time holding just about anything down. Even Water made me gag, sick and nausea. it got to a point during the second month developed horrible heartburn that felt like a heart attack ending in ER. After that I decided just to stick to soups... yogurts.. shakes because I did not want to get sick again. Once I hit my fourth month slowly re-introduced solids to wean out the foods I could or could not tolerate. Has it improved.. Yes.. but still cannot eat meats.. eggs.. any type of health breads.. still cannot tolerate water. In regards to my regrets!.. Yes it's just food.. and the tool I was given is to improve my overall health and well being. Have I lost the weight.. Yes 70 pounds.. do I feel amazing.. Not exactly. I feel tired.. very low energy and am also losing my hair. My regrets are based on all those factors that I was not expecting this far in as well as just missing the norm of eating a healthy meal without experiencing that horrible pressure after 3 -4 bites. I now dread meal time because I don't know how I am going to feel . Quantity has nothing to do with it... it's quality of life. I know I am not alone in this because I have spoken to many post vsg outside this forum who feel the same. So for those who have had a positive experience god bless.. but for those like me who wish they can turn back the clock keep searching for an outlet and foods that can make your meal experiences tolerable..