Over eating when emotional!!! Big Problem

August 23, 2003

Hi all,

i am into my 7th month of post op and have been dealing with a lot if personal life pressure that have driven me require the old days comfort of food.< /p>

I am an admitted emotional eater who had the operation done in aim to teach my self how to control my eating habits, but unfortunatly its not working.

I find myself either eating foods that will sabotage my weight loss or eating excessivly knowing that i can make my self throw it up, because I CAN!!

My best friend tries to scare me saying that i could develop bulimia, and when this happens twice to three times a day i'm scared they're right. I now get a lot of heartburn and can't eat anything acidic

Is there any one else who has experienced this? How can i get back on the wagon?

Any help will be greatly appreciated:confused

Kiera · August 23, 2003

Dana,

I understand what you mean, I also tend toward emotional eating. There are two things you need to do in order to tackle this. Grapple with whatever it is that is making you feel the need to eat. See a councelor, change jobs, lose the Jerky boyfriend, move, do whatever it takes to change your environment an get those naughty stressers out of your life (I was just tossing out examples, not making any leaps of assumption there ;-) ).

Secondly, only YOU can control what you put in your mouth. Only YOU can decide that you will not let the outside world dictate your eating habits. You have to decide you WANT to be on the diet wagon. If your fat is part of the stresses making you eat you have to head that off at the pass. Make a mantra for yourself - ie "Nothing tastes as good as THIN feels!" or "I may not be able to control ____ thing that is happening right now but I CAN control what I put into my body!" Keep reinforcing yourself. When the stressers are getting to you try getting AWAY from the kitchen, go for a walk or something.

You CAN control what you eat, I find it helpful to only go shopping once per week and I never buy anything that *I* should not be eating. If my hubby wants junk food then he is on his own and he keeps it tucked away where I don't see it. I call this dieting through lazyness because if it is not in the house and I don't have any other reason to go shopping I usually cannot be bothered. It is even more effective if you walk to the store (I dont have a car).

I have found that I do well when I have a one cheat Friday arrangement with myself. The way that works is that I allow myself one "bad" item each friday IF I have been being good all week. It makes it easier to fight off that midweek idea of eating someting bad for me. It gives me something to look forward to and it also helps to keep the "cheating" in hand.

If you must eat something - really MUST cheat then consider taking a careful look at what you want. If you are just dying for chocolate you might consider getting some Protein bars. http://www.wlssuccess.com/bars.htm I really like the Detour, Uturn and Oneway bars, they taste just like a candy bar and they offer you 30 grams of Protein. They still have quite a few calories but AT LEAST you are getting something out of them besides empty calories. They are also much much more filling than a snickers bar, it's not a fix but it is at least better for you.

Another thing to consider - if you are an ice cream and milk shake sort of person get yourself some good protein powders http://www.wlssuccess.com/protein.htm and or some sugar free syrups http://www.davincigourmet.com/page.php?page=742&s=0&&category=2 and make yourself some smoothies, milkshake type drinks, etc. These can be so good you feel like you are cheating but you aren't really.

One thing I think is really important is that you give yourself "outs" things that taste decadant without sabotaging your dieting efforts. If you set the goal that you will only eat bland boring diet food you will be bound to want to cheat, it's natural. Whatever you do please please please do not allow yourself to eat and throw up, that way does lead to problems. Even if you don't go bulemic you can ruin the enamal on your teeth because your stomach acids can wear away the protective layers of your teeth. You owe it to yourself to stay healthy and safe and making yourself throw up is NOT taking care of business.

I would start right now with making a diet plan for yourself - start with just one week. Plan out everything you are oging to eat and do not allow yourself to eat anything else. On day seven allow yourself a small "bad dessert" to Celebrate your week. You can do a week, just take it one day at a time. At the end of the week - after your cheat start the process over again. I hope this novel has something useful in it for you. ;-) You CAN do it! Hang in there.

Lulu · August 23, 2003

Your "novel" has something useful for all of us!!!! Thank you for sharing your experiences. Having something to look forward to each week makes it easier to stay with the program.

springirl · August 23, 2003

I am also into my 7 month and I have hit a plateau at a 40lb weight loss. I have been eating foods that I know sabotage my weight loss and I get back into that negative thinking, feeling like a failure and mad at myself. That is old familiar thinking. Maybe some of us revert to places that are comfortable for us even if they are destructive. I too have PB'd a lot and often wondered if I was using bulimic behavior. You are not alone.

The difference this time, versus dieting in the past, is that I know I have a tool that can get me to a normal weight. I never had that confidence with other dieting methods. We have such ingrained patterns of behavior that are so hard to change. I heard recently from my Surgeon and his support team that PATIENCE is the number one thing we need to remember as Bandsters. We did not get this way over night and we will need time to change. I am confident that I can change and already have in many ways. I am sure that you have also made many changes that you need to give yourself credit for. I don't eat anywhere near the quantity that I used to. I don't eat the refined carbs that I used to. I still have a problem with sugar that seems to be my last bastion of old behavior. With time I do believe that I will modify that behavior as well and make better choices like Kiera said in her wonderful post.

Lately I have been focusing on breaking the plateau with exercise. Today I am going to my first session at Curves and also hope to buy an eliptical machine. I am determined to get to my dream weight and with the band in place I truly believe that dream can become a reality even if the course isn't as smooth as I had hoped. We are all looking for the magic and the bottom line is that the band can't do all the work. On some level I know it is disappointing, but in end, our efforts to reach goal will be more rewarding.

Good luck and believe that you can achieve your dream!

Spring

donali · August 28, 2003

Hi Dana -

Emotional eating is our way to nurture ourselves. Although the long term end result of emotional eating is not our intention, the short term results keep us coming back for more.

Once it was explained to me that the underlying reason of my emotional eating was GOOD (trying to care of myself, responding to MY needs), it put my eating in a whole new different light.

I had to be taught that being good to myself when I was in need was OKAY - this included setting boundaries (actually say "No" to someone?!?! gasp! - lol) and treating myself like I would a loved one. This was a novel idea... Me? A loved one to myself?

I learned how to stop the negative inner voice that used to be my constant companion, particularly in regards to my eating. All that "failure, bad, cheating, ugly, fat, unloveable, unworthy" crap had to go. Is that how you would encourage someone you love?

Once it was okay to be good to myself, I used my desire to eat emotionally as an indication that I needed nurturing (very, very hard for me to learn the difference between emotional hunger and physical hunger - they felt the same to me).

As soon as I was able to identify that my mood was driving me to eat instead of phsical hunger, I referred to my list of alternate activities and tried some of those before I ate. I never forbade myself from eating - that was always an option - I just made a deal with myself to try something else first. If I still wanted to eat, that was okay. Usually I could distract myself enough that the craving went away. If not, having permission to eat what I wanted reduced my incidence of binging, because I knew this was not a "last supper".

If you're interested in doing some emotional work, I posted a tool I used in the support section: A Tool for Dealing with Emotional Hunger.

Above all else, I believe to the core of my being that we all need to treat ourselves with love and respect regardless of the choices we make. We are all doing the best we can at the moment, and we are all getting better. Having tools that can help us when the going gets rough gives us an infrastructure to fall back on.

Best of luck to you during this difficult time.

Leecelove70 · October 21, 2006

Dana,
I understand what you mean, I also tend toward emotional eating. There are two things you need to do in order to tackle this. Grapple with whatever it is that is making you feel the need to eat. See a councelor, change jobs, lose the Jerky boyfriend, move, do whatever it takes to change your environment an get those naughty stressers out of your life (I was just tossing out examples, not making any leaps of assumption there ).

Secondly, only YOU can control what you put in your mouth. Only YOU can decide that you will not let the outside world dictate your eating habits. You have to decide you WANT to be on the diet wagon. If your fat is part of the stresses making you eat you have to head that off at the pass. Make a mantra for yourself - ie "Nothing tastes as good as THIN feels!" or "I may not be able to control ____ thing that is happening right now but I CAN control what I put into my body!" Keep reinforcing yourself. When the stressers are getting to you try getting AWAY from the kitchen, go for a walk or something.

You CAN control what you eat, I find it helpful to only go shopping once per week and I never buy anything that *I* should not be eating. If my hubby wants junk food then he is on his own and he keeps it tucked away where I don't see it. I call this dieting through lazyness because if it is not in the house and I don't have any other reason to go shopping I usually cannot be bothered. It is even more effective if you walk to the store (I dont have a car).

I have found that I do well when I have a one cheat Friday arrangement with myself. The way that works is that I allow myself one "bad" item each friday IF I have been being good all week. It makes it easier to fight off that midweek idea of eating someting bad for me. It gives me something to look forward to and it also helps to keep the "cheating" in hand.

If you must eat something - really MUST cheat then consider taking a careful look at what you want. If you are just dying for chocolate you might consider getting some Protein bars. http://www.wlssuccess.com/bars.htm I really like the Detour, Uturn and Oneway bars, they taste just like a candy bar and they offer you 30 grams of Protein. They still have quite a few calories but AT LEAST you are getting something out of them besides empty calories. They are also much much more filling than a snickers bar, it's not a fix but it is at least better for you.

Another thing to consider - if you are an ice cream and milk shake sort of person get yourself some good protein powders http://www.wlssuccess.com/protein.htm and or some sugar free syrups http://www.davincigourmet.com/page.php?page=742&s=0&&category=2 and make yourself some smoothies, milkshake type drinks, etc. These can be so good you feel like you are cheating but you aren't really.

One thing I think is really important is that you give yourself "outs" things that taste decadant without sabotaging your dieting efforts. If you set the goal that you will only eat bland boring diet food you will be bound to want to cheat, it's natural. Whatever you do please please please do not allow yourself to eat and throw up, that way does lead to problems. Even if you don't go bulemic you can ruin the enamal on your teeth because your stomach acids can wear away the protective layers of your teeth. You owe it to yourself to stay healthy and safe and making yourself throw up is NOT taking care of business.

I would start right now with making a diet plan for yourself - start with just one week. Plan out everything you are oging to eat and do not allow yourself to eat anything else. On day seven allow yourself a small "bad dessert" to Celebrate your week. You can do a week, just take it one day at a time. At the end of the week - after your cheat start the process over again. I hope this novel has something useful in it for you. You CAN do it! Hang in there.

Kiera:

I loved your suggestions!

Iam such a funk lately, I have lost close to 50 pounds with out a fill and Iam a complusive overeater and emotional eater also. Lately I crave Sugar and I have resorted to my old behaviors whenever Iam stressed.

I have tired the Detour bars as you mentioned and they are great as a "chocolate fix". I also use the Designer whey Protein powder in chocolate and add skim plus milk and a scoop of Smart Balance Peanut Butter and 4 ice cubes to make a great smoothie.( Iam in heaven !)

Your suggestions were great and I will use them to help me get out of this funk Iam in. I also like the planned once a week menu and the once a week 'Cheat" idea.

Thank for a great post!:clap2:

Love and Hugs and friendship,

Lisa

Fauxnaif · October 21, 2006

I totally understand. My first year was incredibly hard for this exact reason. I highly recommend this book. Between the band and it, I have finally reached a point of comfort with food.

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?z=y&EAN=9780449003824&itm=1

Parvathi · October 21, 2006

I can't add much more to what the others have said - they always give good advice here. As someone who has had their band slip though, trust me when I say you don't want to have to go down that road. If you think its hard controlling emotional eating with the band in ... well, you'd remember to before the band surely how much you could put away (like I do). Excessive vomiting can definitely cause a slippage and they're just no fun.

Good luck in resolving the issues! Its sure not easy.

Leecelove70 · October 22, 2006

I totally understand. My first year was incredibly hard for this exact reason. I highly recommend this book. Between the band and it, I have finally reached a point of comfort with food.
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?z=y&EAN=9780449003824&itm=1

Thanks so much for the book suggestion I placed my order on Barnes and Nobles since Iam a member. I also found some a books that an old OA sponsor had told me to buy here are the titles "Why Can't I Stop Eating" by Debbie Danowski.

She also has another book titled"Locked Up for Eating to Much- Dairy of a food Addict in Rehab"( It was about here going to rehab to over come her overeating and it was very powerful reading!) I also read and this was after much therapy for my compulsive overeating and food addiction this book "Food Addiction -What the Body Knows" by Kay Sheppard (This books has been around for many years and had a great food plan that is great for banders and Kay Sheppard has a website that you can check out for the food plan.)

Thanks again for the book suggestion.

Love and Hugs and friendship,

Lisa:kiss2:

NeenBand · October 22, 2006

I understand what your experiencing. I also emotionally eat, but what I do even more than eat wrong foods is eat foods fast.

This week, I have been trying to rescue kittens in my apartment complex that will be abused here, and the stress has made me eat too fast. Twice I got a "Knot" in my band area. I could feel the food stuck. I've never done that before.

It's so very hard to break these habits.