Leaving dieting behind

[bellabloom 2,469]

I needed surgery because of adhesions last week and I decided to attend the education class for the immediately post-op patients again. I wanted to know if there was something "new" or "different".
I'm still surprised how different the advice is from country to country, from hospital to hospital. The hospital I had surgery at are very against strict rules with the exceptions of a few general ones, some applying only to the first 4 weeks after surgery.
The only "long-term rules" still seem to be: eat enough Protein, take your supplements, drink your Water, no high calorie beverages, don't drink 30 min before/after your meals.
Otherwise it's about this "balanced diet" that you can read about in every health magazine. No calorie-limits, no carb-limits, no low-fat this or skim milk that. No calorie or point or whatever counting.
What surprises me a bit is that quite a few patients seem to long for more guidance, for exact meal plans to follow, for calorie limits, for strict rules to follow, for exact advice what supplements to buy and take. I remember I felt free and so did others, however, there were also patients who felt more intimidated and/or overwhelmed by this "freedom".
"Follow your program?" I think you should and IMO exactly that makes discussion about "the program" so very difficult because there simply is no "standard program" to follow as it seems. I sometimes think some patient's/user's interpretation of that sentence is more like "I'm following my program until it doesn't fit my view of the world anymore and if you're following your program but it doesn't fit my view of the world I'm going to lash out at you."
I think if you really can follow your program without much problems and making it a full-time job, everything's fine and dandy. However, if you're struggling or being not successful or your new job is being a bariatric patient who had surgery - it might be time for a change.

Excellent post and very correct. My program (dieting) or a program of any kind made me as miserable thin as I was over weight and was inevitably going to cause me to regain the weight.

By letting go of food rules and eating to satisfy my hunger and cravings, I have freed myself from that torment and also found a sustainable way to maintain my weight around a place where I am happy with my body and have energy.

[bellabloom 2,469]

I think it is great that you emphasized this point. Now it will be more clear to anyone reading this thread that they should follow their Doc/Nuts plans to be successful losing their excess weight.
I have decided to stay away from these controversial threads, but I just wanted to say thank you and Good Luck on your journey. I hope you are successful keeping the weight off and remain happy.

It is true I did not begin Intuitive Eating until I had read her my goal weight. But I wish I had began it sooner because of the hell I was going through. I do believe that Intuitive Eating is a a way to lose weight if you are above your bodies natural set point and I do believe that if I had begun sooner I would have eventually reached the weight I am now, which I feel is likely my set point.

If I had begun I Intuitive Eating sooner I would have spared myself quite a bit of misery and torment and probably have avoided having to go into treatment for anorexia ed ect and put my life back on track a lot sooner.

When I was obese I went through treatment for bulimia. They taught me Intuitive Eating and I tried it for a few months. I lost an entire clothing size and That was the only time in my life I ever lost weight without a diet. But eventually I became impatient because it is a slow process, and because the ritualistic addiction I had to dieting and the coping strategy I used was restricting my food inflame, I went back to dieting and I regained all the weight I had lost and then some.

DIETING made me fat. Not the other way around.

[dreamingsmall 1,125]

On 30/07/2017 at 2:36 PM, summerset said:

Why do you already plan on not following your plan? What makes you so sure, the American plan is better than the UK one?

Sorry who was this to? You must have read something wrong. I said " I WILL be following my plan, I did not say the american plan was BETTER neither did I say I was SO SURE.. but in my 3 week liquid diet my plan mentioned icecream and puddings. I do not see the american plans allowing this. I chose not to have them. I am following my plan does not mean i have to eat everything on my plan. I pick what i feel I am okay to eat. , as I am still wondering were I said I won't be following mine My first sentence was " but i obvcourse will be following my surgeons plan ". I am in constant contact with my NUT and when I see something on here I am curious about i email and ask about it. I do not think ignoring the part saying i can have icecream will be detrimental to my journey. Thanks. My NUT is already aware I have chosen not to have certain foods that trigger cravings for me. the plan is not static. It is adaptable , and i adapt it with my Nuts permission when I doubt something I have seen , or feel something will not work for me. Not eating some things is not , not following the plan.

Other than that I am following the plan and I have had great success so far. I am working hard , and doing just fine.

Edited August 26, 2017 by dreamingsmall

[bellabloom 2,469]

Hey all! Update on me. (And thank you all who have been supportive by the way)

I'm doing AWESOME.

My weight is extremely stable. I don't weigh myself if I can avoid it (I find numbers upsetting and triggering and pointless) but my clothes all fit and my measurements are the same. That said it's honestly a non issue because I don't care if I get smaller or bigger or whatever because weight just isn't what defines my happiness anymore.

I've just finished my second round of plastic surgery in Mexico. I had a lower face lift (for a slight turkey neck and early jowling) and a Brazilian butt lift and I had fat added to my hips to give me a more womanly shape. I LOVE the results I am seeing. In my eating disordered days I always wanted a stick straight and boy like model body. I have changed that mindset and am embracing my Latina heritage and embracing what my body is more inclined to look like.

Through the surgery I continued eating intuitively and my recovery has been wayyyy easier this time. I feel it is because I am much healthier and my body is well nourished and strong. I have repaired a lot of the damage dieting did to me.

I'm in a new relationship and he has been super supportive. In my dieting days I would tend to pick abusive assholes. This time I have picked someone who supports my choices and builds me up. It's amazing what a well fed mind can do!! I don't live on the edge any more and I don't keep people around who encourage my self esteem and body image issues.

My eating behavior has not changed. Once in awhile I will loosely tally up my calories (sadly I still have every single item of food calories burned into my brain) and I find I eat around 2000-3000 calories a day. Usually right around the 2500 mark. I don't do this by thinking about it. That just seems to be what my body needs to be satisfied.

What funny is I actually TRIED to put on some weight for my Brazilian butt lift and I FAILED. I don't have much fat in my body, which they needed for the surgery, so I tried to eat more by adding in Breakfast and higher calorie foods for about a month before my surgery. I didn't do anything that felt harmful or excessive- just encouraged myself to always eat breakfast, a lot of avocado, adding cheese and mayo more, that sort of thing. And.... Nothing happened. No weight gain. In fact it felt like I LOST weight.

In my dieting days with a wrecked metabolism I was able to put on 5lbs in 3 days!!! My body is now at its set point and it just won't allow me to change that so easily. God knows what I would have to do to gain weight at this point.

Anyway my butt lift isn't as big as I would have liked it but it still looks great!

A few weeks ago I also went on a cruise with my kids. It made me extremely sad to see all the people on the boat gorging themselves and looking so miserable. I've been on 3 cruises in my life. The first one I was 27 thin and bulimic- I threw up everything I ate on the ship and was super sick. The second one I was 33 and obese. I ate till my stomach was going to pop and was super miserable and depressed. This time I'm 37 and a healthy intuitive eater. I ate whatever I wanted to satisfy my hunger and tried not to worry about the food at all. And I was happy.

Roughly what I eat:

Bagel with avocado for breakfast

(Or something like an omelet with tons of ketchup my favorite food)

Maybe some Thai food or tacos or fried calamari for lunch, or salad and sandwich (usually eat out for lunch)

dinner I eat out a lot too or at home rarely. I like all kinds of restaurants. I don't like too cook, it takes up too much time and I work a lot. I like Italian, Mexican, sushi, salads... whatever. so I get a salad and an entree. Entrees are so crazy huge, I almost always have leftovers.

Big snack at bedtime. Either the rest of my dinner or a burrito or sandwich or something. This is probably my largest meal of the day.

Sometimes dessert. I eat chocolate a lot at like 3 am. I dunno why but my body craves it.

And wine. I love wine. All though I have been cutting back lately because it does make me tired and not sleep as well.

I'm attaching some fun photos for you all and much love and many blessing to you in your journey!!! It's a journey worth taking to get healthy with food. My life is 1000000x better.

      

Trying to get that booty haha!!

Bahahahaa. Cruise photo.

All of these are taken within the last month.

[dreamingsmall 1,125]

How come it says your a bypass patient, not a sleeve patient ?

[bellabloom 2,469]

How come it says your a bypass patient, not a sleeve patient ?

Sigh. I get tired of answering this but okay. I've had both bypass and sleeve. Long story. Read back.

[dreamingsmall 1,125]

6 minutes ago, bellabloom said:

Sigh. I get tired of answering this but okay. I've had both bypass and sleeve. Long story. Read back.

OMG no need to be rude I had not cought up yet jesus christ. I will not ask you anything in the future, incase you may have happened to answer the same exact question to another human being in this world. This thread is so negitive. I am leaving it. i felt bad for you but your abit rude too. I was just curious! Why post your big post if you are not going to want questions? All the best.

[Apple1 2,572]

I am glad you have found a lifestyle you can embrace and be happy with. I think this is where we all need to end up at the end of our journeys.

I have decided that gaining health and fitness is more important to my overall happiness then a certain number on the scale. I think my thought process was backward. I thought losing x number of pounds would make me healthy, get rid of my medical issues ect...

But the truth is when I eat a healthy diet and exercise daily the weight loss happens naturally. Too bad I had to have WLS to figure this out. I am eating with a healthy purpose in my mind and so I still don't believe intuitive eating is for me, but I am glad it is working for you.

You look very happy. Obviously you are investing in the slimmer you by having plastics done so I do believe you care about your size. I think we all care and that is not a bad thing. It will keep us from gaining back what we lost or losing our focus on a healthier lifestyle.

[bellabloom 2,469]

I also want to add something that I have found to be true based on my experience.

At first Intuitive Eating was really hard and scary. I thought I was going to blow up huge for SURE. I had to be so brave to even try it. At first I was negotiating with myself a lot. Like... I will try it for a week so I can enjoy my vacation.. or I'll try it but if I gain weight at all

I will resume dieting.

In the beginning I only managed short periods of time eating freely and then would restrict again. And it was like that for some time. But!!

But. What happens is ... as you continue, the times where you let go- they are sooo good. You aren't overeating or binging, you are just eating enough.. and it feels soooooo good in your mind and body, that after awhile it feels more worthwhile than being super skinny or pleasing society or some stifling ideal. Being fed right is an amazing feeling, and it becomes harder and hard to go back to restrictive food behaviors.

Over time my stretches became longer and longer and as I sought out more support and also saw my body remaining in a stable weight and started working on my body dysmorpia... everything just fell into place more and more. Suddenly you start to realize, wow I haven't thought about food intake or dieting in awhile! And wow what a freedom that is.

Lifting that oppressive mindset and hunger out of your world is like coming out of a cloud. Life is so full and beautiful. Weight isn't what defines your happiness- health is. Mental and physical health.

Food will make or break you for sure. Too much and your body and mind will suffer. Too little and your body and mind will suffer. It takes the right amount to be truly happy and ONLY YOUR INDIVIDUAL METABOLISM AND BODY can determine what that amount should be.

I'm not writing these feed to threaten or undermine you. I'm not bragging about my success or weightloss. I'm offering out a hand to those who feel they want or need to try something different. If dieting works for you for now, great. But know that should you want something else, there is this. I want to give others what I have found and share my experience.

I truly believe, in fact I KNOW dieting cannot be a sustainable practice for lifelong happiness. With dieting there will always be the highs of weight loss and the deep lows of weight gain. With intuitive eating, there is just consistency and underneath that freedom and joy.

[bellabloom 2,469]

OMG no need to be rude [emoji20] I had not cought up yet jesus christ. I will not ask you anything in the future, incase you may have happened to answer the same exact question to another human being in this world. This thread is so negitive. I am leaving it. i felt bad for you but your abit rude too. I was just curious! Why post your big post if you are not going to want questions? All the best.

I wasn't being rude it's just I don't understand why it matters? See heart face emoticon. Anyway hahaa my post is anything but negative!! It's amazing how people can attach a tone to someone's voice in these threads that isn't there.

[bellabloom 2,469]

I am glad you have found a lifestyle you can embrace and be happy with. I think this is where we all need to end up at the end of our journeys. I have decided that gaining health and fitness is more important to my overall happiness then a certain number on the scale. I think my thought process was backward. I thought losing x number of pounds would make me healthy, get rid of my medical issues ect...

But the truth is when I eat a healthy diet and exercise daily the weight loss happens naturally. Too bad I had to have WLS to figure this out. I am eating with a healthy purpose in my mind and so I still don't believe intuitive eating is for me, but I am glad it is working for you.

You look very happy. Obviously you are investing in the slimmer you by having plastics done so I do believe you care about your size. I think we all care and that is not a bad thing. It will keep us from gaining back what we lost or losing our focus on a healthier lifestyle.

I care about my shape sure but it doesn't make or break me any more. Plastics is about dealing with loose skin and feeling comfortable in my skin. It's not about being super skinny. In fact I had plastic surgery to make me look wayyyy more curvy than I was before.

Investing in health and fitness is way better than a number on the scale and I invest in those things also. I love feeling fit and strong, but I also don't go to the gym and stare at how many calories I've burned any more nor do I feel terrible if I choose not to go.

It's awesome that you can see that the number is irrelevant if you aren't healthy or happy!

[Alyssa_T 30]

I wasn't being rude it's just I don't understand why it matters? See heart face emoticon. Anyway hahaa my post is anything but negative!! It's amazing how people can attach a tone to someone's voice in these threads that isn't there.

Woman, I'm really sorry for what I'm going to say but you do seem rude, annoyed, defensive and a bit bitter. If you can't tolerate questions, don't write. Period.

[bellabloom 2,469]

OMG no need to be rude [emoji20] I had not cought up yet jesus christ. I will not ask you anything in the future, incase you may have happened to answer the same exact question to another human being in this world. This thread is so negitive. I am leaving it. i felt bad for you but your abit rude too. I was just curious! Why post your big post if you are not going to want questions? All the best.

Hugs

[bellabloom 2,469]

It’s amazing how much animosity there exists on bariatric pal these days. Whatever happened to just being chill? [emoji4] anyway.

Just wanted to update, I am still doing really well. My weight is holding steady although my body composition has changed due to plastic surgery. This year I’ve had a lot and it’s getting used to a whole new me. My waist is tiny, my butt is big, my boobs are little... lol. Hello.

So I’m buying different clothes and trying to get used to the changes now that I’m finally on the mend.

It’s interesting because once I finished the plastic surgeries I found that I felt basically the same but not that into caring about my looks like I did before. I’m content but not obsessed. I used to try a lot harder to stand out where now.. I just am focused on other things. I’ve been able to turn my attention away from my size and shape and back to things like my job and family. And that is a relief. There is definitely a time after wls where the whole world revolves around the physical changes one is going through.

These days I have a really nice boyfriend who is super supportive of me. He is helping me overcome some obstacles around my eating behavior that I still struggle with because of my surgery. I have some long lasting physical effects and we are working to see if I can get past those. He’s very supportive about my weight and never lets me slide into negative self talk.

I know that the hardest thing for me in all of this has been dealing with my self image and my value system. I have days where I feel a lot of anxiety and I feel enormous again. I have to remind myself, “fat” is not a feelings. Just because I may feel a certain way doesn’t correlate to how I look. I struggle with body dysmophia still. To this day I am shocked when I see a picture of me and I’m thin. It’s hard to get your mind to catch up with your body.

And then there is the notion that - does it matter? Is weight an item by which a person can be judged? No it isn’t. Is losing weight worthwhile? For me it was. But not for everyone. Just because we may want to lose weight doesn’t mean everyone over weight should or needs to. I have to remember not to judge myself by my looks. It’s a lifetime of habitual self judgement to undo.

My eating patterns remain the same. I try really hard not to skip back into dieting. I believe in intuitive eating and I love the health and freedom it has given me. Sometimes I miss dieting though. Not because I want to e thinner but because I miss the illusion of control and the patterns of restriction I was raised with. That belief of “my weight controls my happiness” and “dieting is what we should do as women” is really hard to overcome. I have moments where I get triggered and I fight those.

I haven’t weighed my self in a very long time. I feel like I look different but in a positive way. My clothes still fit, I wear a size 2. I know I’m at a healthy weight and no one makes comments that I am too thin anymore so that’s a relief.

I did several plastic surgery procedures this year which I am at the end of. I haven’t been working out at all because of this but now I am going back and look forward to rebuilding my muscular strength. I love to run and lift weights.

My meals are just the same as they were.. I usually skip Breakfast or sometimes eat some toast a bagel or an omelet.

I eat a big lunch, usually at a restaurant or a sandwich with a avocado and lots of cheese.

I eat a light dinner.. I kinda suck at dinner. So usually a snack then. And right before bed I eat a big meal.. dinner left overs or a burrito or microwave meal and sometimes desert. Sometimes I eat in the middle of the night too but not as much lately. I pay pretty little attention to what I eat.

One thing though lately is I have been struggling with a lot of gas pain. I’ve seemed to become intolerant to garlic and Beans and some other foods. I’m trying to figure out what that’s about.

Anyhow! Feel free to pm me anytime. I’m happy to discuss intuitive eating. [emoji4]

Here are some recent pictures.

Day of my surgery 12/2014

Couple weeks ago

[Berry78 4,261]

Congrats, Bella, on escaping from your food demons. Good for you May we all be as successful.