Leaving dieting behind

[BigUtahMan 207]

I find it ironic in this thread how I see the same attitude towards intuitive eating, as many people express who are opposed to bariatric surgery. ..!!!!
So I guess maybe all our friends and families were right who were against us having surgery. (Never mind the success we are experiencing from surgery, because it doesn't fit in their world or belief system. Maybe we should ignore our results until they are ready to accept them.)
Or we can continue to search for truth and apply it appropriately when it is discovered. For those of you who are no longer broken with your relationship with food, this post doesn't apply to you. For those of us who need to develop more life skills in relationship to their food, this might help.
Creating extreme examples of failure is like posting every person who failed after surgery and then claiming, "surgery is not the answer", knowing many people succeed as well.

We all quickly learn and say surgery doesn't fix the brain, but if you DARE RECOMMEND SOMETHING THAT MIGHT, this forum has no room for that. All your examples exemplify people with dysfunctional relationship with food and their bodies. While we all have that common past to one degree or another, I hope to have a different common future.

[blizair09 3,250]

11 minutes ago, BigUtahMan said:

All your examples exemplify people with dysfunctional relationship with food and their bodies. While we all have that common past to one degree or another, I hope to have a different common future.

But that was my point. It's all about the audience. My entire point was that posts like this are dangerous sometimes because of how people read it, misapply the information to their own life, and end up worse off than they were before.

I'm turning off notifications for this thread. Like I said, to each his or her own on this one. Hopefully it will work out for those of you that choose to go that route.

Edited June 7, 2017 by blizair09

[Cass Elliot 79]

you guys fight too much

[Newme17 3,444]

@blizair09 thanks for that. I can see it now. It's hard for me to associate with your examples but I needed to hear them. I'm not all perfect, by no means, I just haven't had an addiction to anything in my life, so I see the intuitive eating very doable for me. It also helps that this is the way I was in my single and healthy years (8 years ago), so it's like going back to what I used to do with some relearning to do. food is fuel.

[Newme17 3,444]

In addition, all the WLS audience cannot be spoken for. I've read many accounts of successful people not counting, journaling, etc. Back to square one y'all, it is what works for you and you only. Please share your experiences, but please remember that others may not be like you. We have to find what works for ourselves. Blessings to all! 😊

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

2 hours ago, BigUtahMan said:

Wow- Surprised someone with 8000 posts who is a "bariatric legend" would be so forthcoming with personal attacking and questioning one's integrity?

This is the internet, forum titles are meaningless. I work from home and I'm bored a lot.

I've gone easy and let her slide. I try for the most part to ignore her because she is mentally ill, but she is filling peoples heads with nonsense.

She has no integrity. She is a known and admitted liar. She blew it a long time ago. I'm not personally attacking her, I am just basically stating facts, which she admitted herself.

She caused a #$%^ storm of drama here then fluttered off leaving nothing but drama in her wake.

She is entirely toxic. I regret nothing I said and I could write a dissertation about her, her lies and her actions. She should have been banned a long time ago but she is a professional victim and drama queen.

[nomorefattypatty 329]

Keep your body biologically fed with adequate energy and carbohydrates. (Carbs. Yes. Let's see, first I'll have some peeps, maybe later, some potatoes, and if I walk, I can eat that entire container of Halo Top Ice Cream since it has Protein, too.)
If you tell yourself that you can’t or shouldn’t have a particular food, it can lead to intense feelings of deprivation that build into uncontrollable cravings and, often, bingeing When you finally “give-in” to your forbidden food, eating will be experienced with such intensity, it usually results in Last Supper overeating, and overwhelming guilt. (I can't cut myself off from anything. pizza time! Uh oh, I ate the whole thing -- how did I do that? I thought I had restriction.)
Scream a loud “NO” to thoughts in your head that declare you’re “good” for eating minimal calories or “bad” because you ate a piece of chocolate cake. (I have been eating chocolate cake every night this week. That has pushed me to more calories than my body needs considering that I am not exercising at all. Oh well; I'll do better tomorrow, but I never do.)
Listen for the body signals that tell you that you are no longer hungry. (Being morbidly obese, I have had a lot of success in this area...)
When you eat what you really want, in an environment that is inviting and conducive, the pleasure you derive will be a powerful force in helping you feel satisfied and content. (See Roseanne comment from earlier...)
Find ways to comfort , nurture, distract, and resolve your issues without using food. (Again, great for people who have re-defined their relationship with food. But none of the people mentioned have done that, or are even close to doing that.)
Accept your genetic blueprint. Just as a person with a shoe size of eight would not expect to realistically squeeze into a size six, it is equally as futile (and uncomfortable) to have the same expectation with body size. But mostly, respect your body, so you can feel better about who you are. It’s hard to reject the diet mentality if you are unrealistic and overly critical about your body shape. (How many posts a day on here from people freaked out because they have "only" lost 60 pounds in 6 months. Again, consider the audience.)
Forget militant exercise. Just get active and feel the difference. Shift your focus to how it feels to move your body, rather than the calorie burning effect of exercise. If you focus on how you feel from working out, such as energized, it can make the difference between rolling out of bed for a brisk morning walk or hitting the snooze alarm. If when you wake up, your only goal is to lose weight, it’s usually not a motivating factor in that moment of time. (Great for those that are exercising. How many posts say -- I know I need to exercise, but...)

Again, these are great for people who are at a certain place in their journey. But that isn't the majority of people that post on here. They will read and hear what they want to read and hear.

I totally agree, the food binging is how it all started. When I was younger I was never fat, but then I knew to cut out stuff I liked if I even felt my clothes a little tight. Over time I did recreational drugs and never ate hardly at all. When I quit seven years ago I turned to food. I have an addictive personality so I have to watch anything I do. Now through the help of my nut doctor and this Bariatric program, I am addicted to getting outside and enjoying the wonderful sunshine every day I'm able to. Yesterday I mowed my lawn which is about 4.6 miles of walking, then I walked to the bus stop which is a total of about another 3.8 miles. I try to plan to go outside each and every day if weather cooperates. The only thing that keeps me indoors is my leg and arm joint pain and arthritis, but if you don't move it you lose it. I am having my surgery on June 21st and any muscle definition I can get before I lose weight will help me look better and feel better about myself. Anyway just do the best you can with what God gave you because life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get. But you can guide yourself to a life you'll really want with hard work and determination


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[Middus 491]

you guys fight too much

Yup...
Side effect of dieting I think.. 🤣🤣

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[nomorefattypatty 329]

Does the approach of food tracking or journaling and Portion Control have to be thought of as an eternal diet mentality? I don't think so. It is a tool just as WLS is. I am not thinking of any of this as a diet. They are the tools that I use to ensure I am eating healthy and within my personal guidelines I set for myself.
For me a diet means it has an end and these tools I am using now are for life. Maybe down the road i wont have to use them everyday because I will have more confidence in myself, but I am not looking at any of this With a diet mentality.

I agree if you think of it as dieting for the rest of your life you could definitely be setting yourself up for a downfall. However, I use mental imagery to set myself up for a lifetime change. I often picture myself eating vegetables, and passing up fast foods, or just remembering to measure out my portions. Its not because I'm restricting myself to a diet as I'm learning to eat healthy and pick better choices instead of just plowing food in my mouth just because its what I like at the moment. Once I start eating something its like I can't stop myself so I'm going to keep on making right choices for me and to protect my sleeve after surgery, everyone should.

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[nomorefattypatty 329]

I find it ironic in this thread how I see the same attitude towards intuitive eating, as many people express who are opposed to bariatric surgery. ..!!!!
So I guess maybe all our friends and families were right who were against us having surgery. (Never mind the success we are experiencing from surgery, because it doesn't fit in their world or belief system. Maybe we should ignore our results until they are ready to accept them.)
Or we can continue to search for truth and apply it appropriately when it is discovered. For those of you who are no longer broken with your relationship with food, this post doesn't apply to you. For those of us who need to develop more life skills in relationship to their food, this might help.
Creating extreme examples of failure is like posting every person who failed after surgery and then claiming, "surgery is not the answer", knowing many people succeed as well.

We all quickly learn and say surgery doesn't fix the brain, but if you DARE RECOMMEND SOMETHING THAT MIGHT, this forum has no room for that. All your examples exemplify people with dysfunctional relationship with food and their bodies. While we all have that common past to one degree or another, I hope to have a different common future.

Great post!

Sent from my N9519 using BariatricPal mobile app

[Middus 491]

Been too lazy to post for weeks.
I don't think anyone is right or wrong. Granted the OP should have added more disclaimers, because there are folks looking for an excuse not to stick to their meal plans... On the other hand, the op never claimed to be dishing out advice. It seemed like a personal post.
In my own case, tracking calories is just too much work, and may be misleading, so I do a mix of intuitive (mindful) eating and weighing of my food. Disregarding portion sizes got me where I was not addictions. However, When your diet is somewhat esoteric, you simply cannot track calories/macros . How many grams of carbs are in a cup of Kontomire Soup for example?
How many grams of Protein are in a cup of Bitter-leaf soup.. (and that is vs whether it has crawfish vs whether it doesn't)?
As a result, I end up 'guesstimating'. If the soup has a lot of meat, I weigh. I only track Breakfast (at work).. or when I dine out..

Edited June 7, 2017 by Middus

[IveGotThePower 395]

I'm reading a lot about us controlling our portions and calories and carbohydrates. And there is merit to those posts. However, about 3 weeks ago I met with my NUT. She told me I should not fear sugar. This was a bit of a shock because for the past 14 months I have been avoiding sugar like the plague. She said that my hormones have now changed, I might be surprised and the experts are now moving away from numbers. Away from counting carbs, calories and keeping track of weight. She said not to be focused on numbers. She also advocates mindful eating which is similar if not basically the same thing as I understand it. i also just read the new article in Time magazine last week that says the one thing they do know is that we all require individualized plans. The exact same diet will work for one person but not for another. There are so many variables to our weight that science doesn't even know why we gain and loose weight differently. Our gut microbes, hormones, genes, bile acids, how our body processes what we eat (different for different people) and eating habits are all factors. No one thing is responsible, they all work together. Scientists can't even tell us why weight loss surgery works. Anyway, I ate everything I wanted. ice cream, nachos, dessert every night, some bread, shared 2 coffee coolatta things, and more. I gained 5 lbs in 7 days and it came off plus .4 more lbs in 3 days of just eating my normal diet. I haven't counted anything really since surgery. Just focused on Protein and veggies mostly. I seriously don't know how that worked so quickly. I expected to work for weeks or months to take it off. Guessing this is my set point now. Very difficult to loose more, but apparently not too hard to loose when I gain a few. I just know we don't know how weight loss works. And I think people are too hard on themselves when there are so many factors involved in weight loss and weight gain. I don't want to dissuade anyone from posting something that helped them regardless of whether it is within the guidelines of what someone else believes to be true or not. We have so much to learn.

[Newme17 3,444]

@IveGotThePower I'm glad your nut told you that! 😊 Sounds like my nut.

[bellabloom 2,467]

Hahahaha. Wow.

Okay. I didn't think this post would get so many opinions and emotions going!!

The Outsidematchinside poster- for some reason she thinks I lie about things on here!? Hahaa okay. Not sure how that would benefit me. She has taken me as some kind of enemy? I don't get it. But whatever. All my old posts are here. Read them if you want. I've told my story multiple times. Sigh.

I went through a really really hard time the year after my surgery both physically and mentally. Doesn't make me a liar!!

I had bypass. I had complications. I had it reversed to a sleeve. I had a stricture. I relapsed into anorexia. I went to treatment. I learned about Intuitive Eating as a way to both lose and maintain weight. I'm living that way now and it's completely wonderful. The end.

Anyway.

It's up to you guys what you ultimately want to do with your eating post surgery. I'm not trying to convince you but I am offering a viable alternative to dieting forever. Who wouldn't at least give that a chance?

Dieting was actually how I gained most of my 120lbs of excess weight. I would diet, then binge, then feel guilty, diet, repeat. Every time I "fell off the wagon" I gained weight.

3 years After my bariatric surgery I can eat A LOT. I started to repeat that same pattern and I started to panic and gained a little weight. I knew I would diet myself obese again!! I wasn't about to let that happen.

That's when I really committed to Intuitive Eating as an alternative. It works for me because: my body isn't deprived, my mind isn't deprived, my metabolism is super fast because it has fuel, and I NEVER binge or even overeat. I don't need to. I'm really well fed all the time. I eat when I am hungry. I stop when I'm full. Of course, I had to change my ideas about what portions looked like to. I don't overeat but my past diet self would have thought so. I eat approx 2000-3000 calories a day. Sometimes more but not usually less. I don't count but once in awhile I tally up out of curiosity. Eating that much is NORMAL.

If your going to discount what I'm saying but you don't know anything about Intuitive Eating-- well how do you know I'm not right?

I'm not anti bariatric surgery!! Bariatric surgery is an awesome tool to get large amounts of weight off quickly. I do not regret my surgery even with the complications I had. Bariatric surgery changes and saves lives!

I'm not here to argue with you all or debate. Intuitive eating works to stabilize ones weight at ones healthiest set point. It doesn't not cause all out gorging. In fact, the opposite is true. I often pass up foods or don't finish things I would have gorged on before. Because I'm allowed to have anything I want, the urge to overeat goes away.

But let's take it a step further than what I eat or what I weigh. Let me tell you the best part.

I DONT CARE ANYMORE. I'm finally living my life. If my body wants to gain weight- fine!! I stopped believing that my weight equated to my value. I stopped worrying about 5 f**king pounds. Or ten pounds. Who cares??

Being overweight is f**king sexy okay. It's fine. It's not a criminal act. I decided to love myself enough to let go of trying to be more acceptable to other people.

My weight has stayed exactly the same for a year now as far as I know. My clothes all still fits. Once in awhile I will take my measurements- they are the same as a year ago. Sometimes I seem to get thinner and sometimes a little bigger but I just know that's normal now.

I can't explain to you in words how amazing my life is now. It's changed everything for me. There was no way I could go on with my life continually watching my food intake and making sure I stayed at my goal weight by dieting behavior. I wasn't able to be truly happy. I had to change my behavior and I had to start loving myself regardless of my weight. I had to stop the obsession with food and weight and the guilt!!

You're all gonna do what you want to do. I'm offering a hand out to those who might want a different way. I'm just here to help.

I don't check every day but I will reply to messages if you want to talk.

I've included some more pictures so you can see I'm not a lying POS. bahahaaa. [emoji849]

Also I have an Instagram devoted to Intuitive eating. You can go to it and follow if you want to!

I'm in a few support groups for Intuitive Eating on Facebook as well and there are many members with past bariatric surgeries there.

Instagram:

@afeastonyourlife

Before surgery

At my lowest weight. [emoji20] yuck!

Lowest weight vs. after a year of Intuitive Eating

A typical meal for me. I love ketchup!!!

Me and my adorable kids last Sunday!! I'm raising them to be intuitive eaters as well!

A week or so ago on a work trip.

That's me! Not a liar. Not a crazy person. Not an anomaly. Just another (formally) fucked up eater trying to figure out how to live healthy and happy.

[bellabloom 2,467]

Some info and links if you want to know more about this amazing way of eating!

These are the sites that helped me get on the road to being free from food worries.

http://www.intuitiveeating.org/

http://your-eatopia.squarespace.com/

https://thefuckitdiet.com/

http://isabelfoxenduke.com/

http://www.thebodypositive.org/

http://www.evelyntribole.com/resources/intuitive-eating-articles-studies-support-groups/10-principles-of-intuitive-eating