Are you ever afraid you won't lose weight?

[Abeille213 59]

I have my RNY transition on June 12 and I am terrified I will fail and not lose weight. I had the lapband in 2008 and lost 100 pounds, but it was very slow and took about 5 years. I did keep it off though (with an occasional up and down of 15 pounds). I have always looked at my lapband as a failure. I figured out the "tricks" and how to get around the restriction of the band and I took advantage of it. I was weak. I am weak. It's so hard not to eat.

Am I the only one who is afraid of failing? Of being that one person who is such a disgusting fat pig that even TWO weight loss surgeries can't keep her from eating? I know it's all up to me and I hold the choices in my hands, but there are times I just don't care. I eat and eat and do not care. Not until afterward.

Is there anyone else like me out there?

Transitioning from lapband to bypass on June 12!

HW: 402, CW: 314, GW 185

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

Well for one, you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. It isn't like people can go cold turkey with a food addiction, you have to eat to live.

RNY should make it harder for you to eat around your surgery for a while, but you still can eat around your surgery.

I thought for a little while that I wouldn't be successful because the weight wasn't coming off fast enough, (looking back that was completely ridiculous), but I am doing pretty good. I won't consider myself a success until I have stayed under 200 pounds for 5 years but I have done better than most people with my weight loss.

Just follow your plan and take it day by day. Find a way of eating that you do not feel deprived so you can easily stick to it.

[summerset 5,265]

Well, I'm not really sure what to tell you. I absolutely can understand your worries about failing. A 100 lbs loss is definitely not "failing" though I can absolutely understand that it feels like failure if you're still very overweight after having lost these 100 lbs.

Revisions can be successful but there is no guarantee for it. Many banders seems to do better with the bypass (maybe because of the GI-altering method?) but then there is the fact that revision patients often don't lose that much weight and they lose a lot slower to begin with.

I fear that nobody will be able to tell if you will lose another substantial amount of weight or not.

[Diana_in_Philly 1,426]

Getting through this is mostly getting your head in the right place. Please find a therapist to work with both before and after your surgery. It may help you get to the root of your problem.

Best of luck.

[katieroybal 183]

During my pre-op class the therapist assigned to our group said, "There are 3 things happening that you are all experiencing. 1. Each one of you has probably thought that you will surely be the one to fail. 2. A friend or family member has told you about someone who has failed. 3. You are worried that you will miss food."

Everyone in class laughed because we all experienced that at some point in our pre-op journey. Yes, some people do fail but rather than focus on that, focus on your program and being successful. If you still to your pre and post op diets, exercise and follow your surgeon's advice, you will be successful. Remember, this is a tool. If you don't use it, it won't be as successful for you. Good luck !

[Berry78 4,261]

I find Dr. Duc Vuong and Dr. Matthew Weiner's videos on youtube inspiring. They talk about all sorts of bariatric-related topics.

Instead of getting stuck in your own head with negative thoughts, take the time to explore what people "in the know" are saying.

The first question I pose is this: What constitutes failure?

The medical definition is the failure to maintain a loss of 50% of excess weight. So for me, I started at 305lbs, a normal weight is 155lbs. Meaning I need to maintain 150lbs÷2=75lbs lost, or 230lbs to be a medical success.

Personally I want to be in Onederland, so if I don't make that goal, I will be disappointed in myself... but should I wallow in shame should the scale come to a screeching halt at 210lbs? I could... but how productive would that be?

Shame is the quickest way to revert to "the old ways".. and THAT is the quickest road back to 300lbs. I will keep my chin up, be proud of my accomplishments, and keep on keeping on.

[blizair09 3,250]

If you follow your plan religiously, eat and drink what you are supposed to eat and drink, get some exercise, and be vigilant every day, you won't fail. The reason so many people fail is that they never change their relationship with food, embrace this fictitious "I can eat anything, just in smaller quantities" mantra, and expect the sleeve to be some magic wand that will just make them thin with little to no real work.

[talking mountain 26]

1 hour ago, Berry78 said:

I find Dr. Duc Vuong and Dr. Matthew Weiner's videos on youtube inspiring.

I love Dr. Weiner! His videos are so informative. Plus, following his post-surgery eating advice is, in my opinion, one of the reasons I reached my ideal weight so quickly.

[mrsroyale 71]

You are certainly not alone. I am currently in my pre-op liquid diet phase and I am terrified that I am going to do something wrong and sabotage myself. Think of it this way.... You and I are aware of our fear and we are going to do anything possible, consciously and unconsciously, to make sure it doesn't become a reality. Being aware is the first step to success!

Sent from my SM-G920V using BariatricPal mobile app

[Abeille213 59]

During my pre-op class the therapist assigned to our group said, "There are 3 things happening that you are all experiencing. 1. Each one of you has probably thought that you will surely be the one to fail. 2. A friend or family member has told you about someone who has failed. 3. You are worried that you will miss food."
Everyone in class laughed because we all experienced that at some point in our pre-op journey. Yes, some people do fail but rather than focus on that, focus on your program and being successful. If you still to your pre and post op diets, exercise and follow your surgeon's advice, you will be successful. Remember, this is a tool. If you don't use it, it won't be as successful for you. Good luck !

Thank you for this! I needed to hear that my fears are common and others are worried too. Thanks so much.


Transitioning from lapband to bypass on June 12!
HW: 402, CW: 314, GW 185

[Abeille213 59]

You are certainly not alone. I am currently in my pre-op liquid diet phase and I am terrified that I am going to do something wrong and sabotage myself. Think of it this way.... You and I are aware of our fear and we are going to do anything possible, consciously and unconsciously, to make sure it doesn't become a reality. Being aware is the first step to success!

Sent from my SM-G920V using BariatricPal mobile app

You're absolutely right. We are in control here. The fear is really of ourselves and our own actions. But we are the ones who hold the control. Nobody else. We can do this. I hope your pre-op diet is going well. Mine begins this coming Monday the 29th. I'm determined to do well.


Transitioning from lapband to bypass on June 12!
HW: 402, CW: 314, GW 185

[Abeille213 59]

This thought was in the back of mind throughout pre op journey but was able to counter it with thoughts of how much work I'm putting in to it. My sister lost then gained 100 lbs post op so I had a lot of negativity surrounding this choice. But the fact of the matter is it's about me and my certainty to want to change self deprecating behaviors associated with food. Immediately post op and up until a few days ago I was dealing with a lot of pain and some complications.. again I found my self asking if I made the right decision. The weight loss has helped confirm I'm making the right decision.

It was the right decision! You are going to do great. Do you mind if I ask how your sister gained 100lbs post surgery? Doesn't the small stomach size make it very difficult to overeat? I don't mean to sound ignorant at all, but I'm just unaware that's all.


Transitioning from lapband to bypass on June 12!
HW: 402, CW: 314, GW 185

[Abeille213 59]

You can stretch it out! That's why we're advised to stop eating when we feel full. So hate too throw my sis under the bus but she didn't really address her underlying psychological reasons for weight gain. In addition to that she became pregnant less than a year after surgery. Eventually she stopped exercising and drinks bud light every night, I think she transferred addiction. She is 7 years post op and higher than her pre op weight.

No, hun, you're not throwing anyone under the bus. I truly appreciate hearing this. I am terrified that I will be one of the people who fail and that's the last thing I want. I need to hear stories like this as a type of reality check. That being said, I do hope very much your sister finds a way to become healthy. Life is hard.


Transitioning from lapband to bypass on June 12!
HW: 402, CW: 314, GW 185