Tell or not to tell....

[gjb2017 71]

I've add always been private, but felt it necessary to tell my mother that I was contemplating surgery for a VSG, but told hetnt to tell ANYONE. Well, she blabbed to my siblings, the ones I wished not to share too.

I guess that "the more things change, the more they stay the same".

Sent from my SM-G930V using BariatricPal mobile app

[MSinger 348]

Ugh... sorry to hear that. I'm private as well and had my mom blab my health drama to extended family as well.

It sucks, but what's done is done. Just stay focused on yourself and your journey. Hopefully, your family will be supportive or at least respect your privacy, but if all else fails then you do you and forget any comments.

Good luck.

[PatientEleventyBillion 851]

Some people are private about their surgery. It's certainly no one else's business.

However, if you want anyone to cater to your surgery, it would be the responsible thing to let them know.

[jmar23 32]

That stinks. I have tried to keep my surgery private as well. I agree with the above advice to just do you and don't let anyone drag you down.

[PatientEleventyBillion 851]

30 minutes ago, jmar23 said:

That stinks. I have tried to keep my surgery private as well. I agree with the above advice to just do you and don't let anyone drag you down.

tbh I think there's a good reason to be open about it.

Firstly, have confidence in yourself and your decision making. I do, and it's because I know I'm coming from an educated background, I know the reasons I'm doing this, I've made the decision a while ago that this is what I'm going forward with, no regrets.

Secondly, understand the ramifications. If WLS is stigmatized, how does it ever help change this by catering to the stigma and not being open about it? More and more people are going to need it as the comorbidities of obesity become that much more prominent necessitating this kind of surgery.

Edited May 16, 2017 by PatientEleventyBillion

[Carol Blackburn 35]

Is anyone else tired of people telling you not to do it, I have my mindset already,waiting on my date now and instead of encouragement I get lectures,i am sure they mean well but ugh.....

Sent from my VK810 4G using BariatricPal mobile app

[jmar23 32]

Carol, people like that are the reason I keep mine private. I just don't need the negativity from people. Got enough to deal with going through the surgery, recovery, and maintaining for me to have to worry about negative people.

[deanalyn 8]

I'm telling everyone. My mom, dad, sisters, brother, friends, co-workers, and the guy at Dunkin Donuts (when he said "See you Thursday" and I was like No you wont :-) )

For me it helps with accountability. I have always been a closet eater. I feel like the more people know, the more accountable I am to myself and to the ones I love. Everyone has been supportive. Even when I started to change my mind a couple months ago, it was helpful to have told them so we could talk about the reasons I had started down this path. They boosted me up, kept me going.

Now, I check in to the hospital in 9 hours for my surgery. I'm a little nervous, but not as bad as it could be.

[Carol Blackburn 35]

Hope everyone goes well for you

[gjb2017 71]

I told my mom, just in case I died during surgery.

VSG is MY choice, but I am my mom's son, and just like I would want to know if my daughter was having surgery, regardless of whether I agreed of what is was for...., I felt mom deserved to know of my physical safety.

TMI?

Sent from my SM-G930V using BariatricPal mobile app

[CMK1012 7]

I decided I am telling my significant other, and a couple of close friends. There is so much negativity out there. I took phetermine in the past and lost a fair amount of weight. I think I got more negative feedback (even from my mother) than positive. It's not a huge secret, I am not ashamed or trying to hide it. I just want positive thoughts and support. I am realistic that somewhere down the line, I will get hurt by a negative comment, probably fueled by jealousy. I work in a small office and am really torn about telling my 4 co-workers.