Is it Possible that a person isnt meant to be skinny?

[Chaelove0810 61]

9 minutes ago, Deactivatedfatgal said:

Psssh nvm I'm only "411" the struggle is real hahaha.

Lol awwww yeah it is .. but i guess i shouldnt complain

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

48 minutes ago, Chaelove0810 said:

I appreciate everyones feedback. Some of the responses came off a little abrasive but i can take it . Let me make it clear that im not trying to be "skinny" im trying to be healthy and i want to learn to love myself. I personally dont want to be down to 120 lbs because i wont be comfortable. My goals are my goals whether im no where near skinny or im still considered obese. I came on this site for support and to share my thoughts and to get positive feed back and have another support system outside of my family because they dont understand it the others who are going through it would understand. This is all new to me even tho its been a year im still trying to figure it all out

A healthy weight might sound skinny to yourself or to other people that already think you are small enough.

Everyone I know thinks I am small enough. You can see my collar bones, they pop like crazy, all the veins in my neck (never had a fat neck anyway).I wear a 10, sometimes an 8 and I have an hourglass figure. It looks really good, but a healthier weight would be a better weight.

I had like an hour long conversation with a friend of mine the other day that thinks I am small enough and losing another 30 pounds is unnecessary and ridiculous. When people look at my they don't think I weight around 190 pounds, I look like I weigh probably 160/170, because I have more muscle than most from years of obesity.

I'm literally 1/2 the person I used to be. I get why it seems like I am small enough to them. I however know the difference that carrying a few extra pounds can make in how you feel and I don't want to carry any extra weight. Plus is I ever get injured and can't be active I am so close to 200, that I could be right back over 200 in a couple months of bad choices and I never want to see that 2 on a scale again.

Your goal is your goal, no one else has to live in your body but you. I do understand how people telling you are skinny can make you feel, but you have to do what is best for you. I am very conscious of the fact a lot of people develop eating disorders and body dysmorphia after surgery so I do pay attention to what some of my health conscious thin friends say just in case I am getting off track, but I'm not interested in the opinions of fat people, they are too skewed.

[Mandybb 183]

Actually being "big boned" is not a myth. It only becomes a myth when it is used as a reason for being 'overweight'. Being big-boned gives you a larger frame. Frame may affect you are 'perceived' , but doesn't really affect how much you weigh. The NIH has a guideline to help you check your body frame using wrist measurements (per height group for women). About 70% of the population falls between the medium frame.
Having a large frame (big boned) has nothing to do with to do with bone density. Lower bone density will not affect the size of your bones. Just the concentration of a mineral in it.
Again, a small/large frame is not equal to being under/overweight. It may just help you look 'better' while being under/overweight.

This, this!!
Yes, I am big boned and it has nothing to do with my weight. When I was 5'4 and 150 you could see my hip bones even though I was still considered overweight. But my wrist size and neck I always have to order larger in, even watches. It wasn't fat making them larger, it was just my frame. I'm built like a softball player (which I played for years). I have very muscular legs even at my heaviest weight. I carried my weight in my tummy and top. I also have boxy hips. I'm more top heavy than anything. Skinny for me would be 125-135. At that weight because of my larger frame I would not like the way I looked. So I'm wanting to only go to 150. In fact, even my doctor suggested 145-150 because of my frame after they took all the measurements. But again, my frame did not make me fat, my fat did.

However, there shouldn't be anything stopping you from being a certain size. But if you are comfortable with the way you look and have decided to stop losing, then do it. But don't sell yourself short by listening to other people telling you to stop. You choose: your life, your goals.

[Chaelove0810 61]

16 minutes ago, Mandybb said:

This, this!!
Yes, I am big boned and it has nothing to do with my weight. When I was 5'4 and 150 you could see my hip bones even though I was still considered overweight. But my wrist size and neck I always have to order larger in, even watches. It wasn't fat making them larger, it was just my frame. I'm built like a softball player (which I played for years). I have very muscular legs even at my heaviest weight. I carried my weight in my tummy and top. I also have boxy hips. I'm more top heavy than anything. Skinny for me would be 125-135. At that weight because of my larger frame I would not like the way I looked. So I'm wanting to only go to 150. In fact, even my doctor suggested 145-150 because of my frame after they took all the measurements. But again, my frame did not make me fat, my fat did.

However, there shouldn't be anything stopping you from being a certain size. But if you are comfortable with the way you look and have decided to stop losing, then do it. But don't sell yourself short by listening to other people telling you to stop. You choose: your life, your goals.

I agree with you .. I'm 190 but its so much harder for me to lose weight its becoming frustrating because my goal is 160/165. People dont believe me when i tell them i am 1990 lbs to them i look smaller but i know i'm not .. My surgeon as well said that 150 is good for me because technically i should be 120 but i'm not comfortable. I'm just disappointed with my weight loss for being a year out i thought i would be farther but i'm pushing through it . My sister believes that i have body dysphomic disorder because i still see a fat girl but like i said everyone tells me im losing too much weight my head is going to be too big and the list goes on. Im 1 12 in pants and M in tops but for some reason i still shop in plus size.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

3 minutes ago, Chaelove0810 said:

My sister believes that i have body dysphomic disorder because i still see a fat girl but like i said everyone tells me im losing too much weight my head is going to be too big and the list goes on. Im 1 12 in pants and M in tops but for some reason i still shop in plus size.

I always thought I had a big head because I had trouble with hats and stuff, but I just had a fat head. I wear wigs post-op and now when I measure my head, I need a small cap wig, down from a large. I can wear a wig and a hat and still have room, and I had issues with just hats before.

When you lose weight you lose it all over and it balances out. The one annoying thing is that you might lose more in one place at a certain point but then it will drop in the other places.

The one thing that helped me accept my size and that I was no longer plus size was taking my measurements and comparing them to size charts online. I did it every week for months. It helped me accept that I was really not plus sized anymore. I also tried clothes on every week even if I didn't buy anything that helped a lot too.

Still shopping plus size has a lot to do with comfort levels and what you are used to than body dysmorphia. It took me a ton of time and trial and error to find stores and brands I like now and I am still learning.

I still see a fat person in the mirror because unlike you, I have a ton of loose skin. If I could have my loose skin removed today I would drop about 20 pounds easily.

Just keep working on accepting your size, it takes time. And most people have no experience with it,so they don't understand.

A large frame is a technical term, big boned is not and it is a myth and a lie. I have a large frame, I have long bony thin feet now, I wear a size 10, I have longer fingers and big hands alone with a wide shoulders and a big rib cage. I'm still not effing big boned.

https://medlineplus.gov/ency/imagepages/17182.htm

Quote

Determining frame size: To determine the body frame size, measure the wrist with a tape measure and use the following chart to determine whether the person is small, medium, or large boned.

Women:

Height under 5'2"
Small = wrist size less than 5.5"
Medium = wrist size 5.5" to 5.75"
Large = wrist size over 5.75"
Height 5'2" to 5' 5"
Small = wrist size less than 6"
Medium = wrist size 6" to 6.25"
Large = wrist size over 6.25"
Height over 5' 5"
Small = wrist size less than 6.25"
Medium = wrist size 6.25" to 6.5"
Large = wrist size over 6.5"
Men:

Height over 5' 5"
Small = wrist size 5.5" to 6.5"
Medium = wrist size 6.5" to 7.5"
Large = wrist size over 7.5"

I'm 5'5/5'6 and I have a 6.75/7 inch wrist (It used to be 8.75). That still isn't an excuse to be obese. It just means I can look smaller while weighing more.

[lindabalseca 373]

I appreciate everyones feedback. Some of the responses came off a little abrasive but i can take it . Let me make it clear that im not trying to be "skinny" im trying to be healthy and i want to learn to love myself. I personally dont want to be down to 120 lbs because i wont be comfortable. My goals are my goals whether im no where near skinny or im still considered obese. I came on this site for support and to share my thoughts and to get positive feed back and have another support system outside of my family because they dont understand it the others who are going through it would understand. This is all new to me even tho its been a year im still trying to figure it all out

I totally agree with you on the abrasiveness...unfortunately the experience that people acquire makes them feel like they know everything and they can't wait to criticize and shove their knowledge down the throats of others...I wish they would realize that other people like to share their own knowledge and experiences but it becomes face biting....you look amazing don't sweat it u get to ur goal weight and be happy!!![emoji847]

[Please 188]

I agree, we've fogotten what a normal weight is. I think some of it is fishing for compliments , when people say "I'm scared im getting too skinny" it takes 2 seconds to check your BMI, if your not below the recommended number, your not too skinny!

[Newme17 3,444]

On 5/7/2017 at 9:10 AM, OutsideMatchInside said:

Big bone is just lie people tell themselves and others to justify obesity.

Amen

[erica2185 84]

I appreciate everyones feedback. Some of the responses came off a little abrasive but i can take it . Let me make it clear that im not trying to be "skinny" im trying to be healthy and i want to learn to love myself. I personally dont want to be down to 120 lbs because i wont be comfortable. My goals are my goals whether im no where near skinny or im still considered obese. I came on this site for support and to share my thoughts and to get positive feed back and have another support system outside of my family because they dont understand it the others who are going through it would understand. This is all new to me even tho its been a year im still trying to figure it all out

You look great? What surgery did you have? And you hardly look like you have a lot of loose skin how did you do it??

Sent from my HTC Desire 530 using BariatricPal mobile app

[Middus 491]

I agree, we've fogotten what a normal weight is. I think some of it is fishing for compliments , when people say "I'm scared im getting too skinny" it takes 2 seconds to check your BMI, if your not below the recommended number, your not too skinny!

And what is the NIH (or perhaps WHO) BMI range for skinny? [emoji3]

Sent from my SM-N900P using BariatricPal mobile app

[summerset 5,265]

On 7. Mai 2017 at 3:43 PM, Chaelove0810 said:

im not meant to be skinny. Is that possible?

I don't know if you're meant to be skinny or not but I believe that there are people who're not meant to be skinny just like there are people who're not meant to be obese just like there are people who're short and like there are people who're tall.

I think when we look around in our environment we can spot the "skinny one" who eats larger amounts of food and exercises less than we would expect someone that size.

And then there are the "skinny ones" who eat smaller amounts of food than someone would expect and who exercises a lot and basically dedicate a lot of time to "being skinny" or are outright obsessed with food and weight and exercise.

I personally think the later are "not made to be skinny". That doesn't mean they can't be skinny, however, they need to invest way more time and energy into being skinny, sometimes to the point of obsession. Others who aren't meant to be skinny won't get skinny investing the same amount of time and energy but are forever obsessed with "losing these last 5 or 10 lbs".

[summerset 5,265]

11 hours ago, lindabalseca said:

I totally agree with you on the abrasiveness...unfortunately the experience that people acquire makes them feel like they know everything and they can't wait to criticize and shove their knowledge down the throats of others...

You should have been here a few months ago.

[Chaelove0810 61]

14 hours ago, lindabalseca said:

I totally agree with you on the abrasiveness...unfortunately the experience that people acquire makes them feel like they know everything and they can't wait to criticize and shove their knowledge down the throats of others...I wish they would realize that other people like to share their own knowledge and experiences but it becomes face biting....you look amazing don't sweat it u get to ur goal weight and be happy!!!

Yeah .. it makes me not want to post because that,s not what i came on here for i came here for advice because i really want to know . Like i said i,m barely a year out its stilt a learning experience for me. But thank you i appreciate it

[Chaelove0810 61]

2 hours ago, summerset said:

You should have been here a few months ago.

what happen a few months ago lol

[Chaelove0810 61]

10 hours ago, erica2185 said:

You look great? What surgery did you have? And you hardly look like you have a lot of loose skin how did you do it??

Sent from my HTC Desire 530 using BariatricPal mobile app

Thank You!! i do have skin at the bottom of my stomach and on my arms but i had the Gastric Sleeve ,, have you had a surgery yet ?