What the heck is wrong with me???

[Mandybb 183]

I'm so disappointed in myself! For 3.5 months I've eaten so well, counted every carb and stuck to my diet with little to no problem. I do Keto, so usually I'm very strict with my diet but I've never "craved" foods since I began eating again after surgery. I actually feel satisfied 90% of the time. Until yesterday that is....

I went to the beach with my family (first time since surgery). This last week was a HUGE win for me with my weight loss, 9 lbs, that's huge for me because I'm a slow loser. I've officially lost 53 pounds in almost 3.5 months, I'm under 200!! My weight loss has gotten faster oddly, I had a very slow start right after surgery. I've been elated and motivated, so what the heck happened yesterday? I'm not kidding: I ate 3 Twinkies, a small cheese tots from Sonic, a corn dog, 4 Cookies, fruit (more than my usual) and 2 ice creams! I mean seriously, it went down like butter. No belly aches, no dumping, no restriction!! I just enjoyed the glee of being with my family. I have resisted foods I loved with little to no problem, but these foods I would never choose to normally eat (except the ice cream N cookies). Now I was there for 8 hours on the Water. I swam with my 5 year old and chased him up and down the beach, I played in the sand and walked for miles along the coast. I'm not worried about the calories or that I will gain. I'm worried that I have ZERO idea why I did it!! I wasn't craving anything in particular. I'm worried because I threw all caution to the wind and ate merrily like I forgot my life has now changed. Now while everyone else was enjoying their Sonic cherry limeades and cokes, I stuck to my water but only because I enjoy it! I just really can't understand what made me do that and that concerns me because I can't fix something when I don't understand the problem.

I'm just frustrated and disappointed, confused and feeling defeated. I thought I had conquered my demons and moved past this. I thought I was strong enough to resist temptation. I do every day!! My cabinets are full of junk (cookies, chip, crackers, Cereal, candy) for my son and I don't even care. And FYI, I don't even like corn dogs!! Wth was I thinking?? I know people get cheat days but this wasn't that!! I didn't plan to cheat or even think about anything I was putting in my mouth. This wasn't a cheat, this was nonsense and like I left my brain at home!!

This has only taught me that even if my stomach is changed, I have a LONG LONG road ahead to truly be "changed". And there was NO restriction with those carbs, NONE! So for those of you thinking of being stopped by your tool, don't get too caught up in that happening. YOU truly have to be the one to resist and think about everything you put into your mouth no matter how much fun you are having or how relaxed you are. The struggle is REAL!!!

[Sosewsue61 3,185]

I think you just took a day off from planning food and just said screw it. You didn't want to think about 'the sleeve'. But you kow what you did, and now it's back to control. Lesson learned and plan next time to maybe have one treat.

[Mandybb 183]

I think you just took a day off from planning food and just said screw it. You didn't want to think about 'the sleeve'. But you kow what you did, and now it's back to control. Lesson learned and plan next time to maybe have one treat.

You know you are so right! I had zero plan. I wanted to take yogurt but was worried it would spoil. I took ham for sandwiches but after lunch it was all eaten. I had no nuts or Protein of any kind so it started with the fruit and went downhill from there. By 6pm, it was over and I've been contemplating it ever since.

[MarinaGirl 609]

Don't beat yourself up for one day of unhealthy eating choices. Instead, it is an opportunity to review your strategies for eating outside the home, especially on vacation/fun days.

I would also encourage you to clean out the junk food in your house too. It's not good for you and definitely not for your son. Make healthy eating habits a part of your family values.

And congratulations on losing 53 lbs, that's fantastic!!

[Mandybb 183]

Don't beat yourself up for one day of unhealthy eating choices. Instead, it is an opportunity to review your strategies for eating outside the home, especially on vacation/fun days.

I would also encourage you to clean out the junk food in your house too. It's not good for you and definitely not for your son. Make healthy eating habits a part of your family values.

And congratulations on losing 53 lbs, that's fantastic!!

I appreciate your feedback. I'm not so much worried that it happened as much as I wonder why it happened! Maybe I'm searching for an answer I will never get but I do plan on a strategy next time we are going to be out all day.

As for cleaning out my home, I made a promise to my family that this was MY journey and I would not force them to stop eating foods they enjoy because I'm unable to control my portions. I think I've mentioned in previous posts that my husband is in the military and burns hundreds of calories a day which makes him able to consume any food without much worry about calories or carbs. He's got perfect blood pressure and has complete physicals a year. If he wants an ice cream or Cookies at the end of the day, he can have them. My son has autism and we use Snacks to encourage speech and language as well as other physical therapy. He does not consume them all the time. Snacks if consumed sparingly and within portion are not necessarily bad. If you are active and the bulk of your foods are healthy it's not a big deal.

Where my family has made concessions, I cook 1 meal so they eat what I cook which is extremely healthy and low carb: no potatoes, Pasta, rice, or bread. We no longer eat red meat. I think each family has to do what works for them, and as I said above, it doesn't bother me at all. If we are out they may splurge but again it's in moderation.

Thank you though, I appreciate your concern.

[Mandybb 183]

I might also add, I did not bring the Twinkies, chips (I had none so I didn't mention), bread, or Cookies my mom did. And we got the ice cream from the ice cream truck that came by...again need to work on that for next time! [emoji5]

[LIA-70 136]

Dont beat urself up too bad. I can honestly say i had my doritos breakdown day also. The guilt trip made me work twice as hard the week after and now i carry small foods n Snacks with me so i dont do it again. Important thing is to learn from it. The sleeve helps but the brain is the one thay requires the most work. Good luck. Ps... congrats on the 53lbs, slowly but surely [emoji38]

CW
SW 242
GW 140
VSG 1/6/2017

Woohoo
...summer 2017 here we come :-)

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

@Mandybb

It is really easy to have a day like that. Especially the further you are from surgery. We pretty much have to plan out food and always have options available. Protien bars, Quest chips, etc

Just learn from this time and move on, It was one day out your entire life, Just don't make it a trend.

You also learned something about your sleeve today that you can hopefull use as motivation in the future. We can eat endless amounts of trash, nothing will stop you except you.

[bossportsgal 136]

I appreciate your feedback. I'm not so much worried that it happened as much as I wonder why it happened! Maybe I'm searching for an answer I will never get but I do plan on a strategy next time we are going to be out all day.
As for cleaning out my home, I made a promise to my family that this was MY journey and I would not force them to stop eating foods they enjoy because I'm unable to control my portions. I think I've mentioned in previous posts that my husband is in the military and burns hundreds of calories a day which makes him able to consume any food without much worry about calories or carbs. He's got perfect blood pressure and has complete physicals a year. If he wants an ice cream or Cookies at the end of the day, he can have them. My son has autism and we use Snacks to encourage speech and language as well as other physical therapy. He does not consume them all the time. Snacks if consumed sparingly and within portion are not necessarily bad. If you are active and the bulk of your foods are healthy it's not a big deal.
Where my family has made concessions, I cook 1 meal so they eat what I cook which is extremely healthy and low carb: no potatoes, Pasta, rice, or bread. We no longer eat red meat. I think each family has to do what works for them, and as I said above, it doesn't bother me at all. If we are out they may splurge but again it's in moderation.
Thank you though, I appreciate your concern.

Your doing great and let that one day be in the past.

As far as junk food in the house , I have a son with mental illness who uses food as a coping mechanism for depression. Heck I was too which lead me to getting the sleeve. But now my son (19) is severely overweight for two reasons. One, he is pretty much home bound and two, he was eating too much junk. SO post my sleeve surgery I started buying sugar free and other healthy snacks for me and him. My husband can eat whatever he wants. We have a secret cabinet for his junk. But for my son, I want him to live a healthy lifestyle so got rid of junk. I understand why you need it in your household but maybe trying healthy snacks as a way for your son to coup. I know it's so so hard and I wish you the best but I just wish I had done healthy snacks years ago and maybe by son wouldn't not have this weight problem. He was always a thin child. Best of luck on your journey and god bless you and your child.

[Mandybb 183]

Your doing great and let that one day be in the past.

As far as junk food in the house , I have a son with mental illness who uses food as a coping mechanism for depression. Heck I was too which lead me to getting the sleeve. But now my son (19) is severely overweight for two reasons. One, he is pretty much home bound and two, he was eating too much junk. SO post my sleeve surgery I started buying sugar free and other healthy Snacks for me and him. My husband can eat whatever he wants. We have a secret cabinet for his junk. But for my son, I want him to live a healthy lifestyle so got rid of junk. I understand why you need it in your household but maybe trying healthy snacks as a way for your son to coup. I know it's so so hard and I wish you the best but I just wish I had done healthy snacks years ago and maybe by son wouldn't not have this weight problem. He was always a thin child. Best of luck on your journey and god bless you and your child.

Thank you for your concern, but I think you are misunderstanding what we are using treats for. He's not using food to cope with Autism, we use treats as incentives to complete certain tasks. For example, if the speech and language pathologist is over and he reads a whole page in a book he gets an M&M for each page he completes. If he talks and engages in therapy he gets rewarded. If he completes all of his physical therapy (usually swimming) he gets a bag of chips. It's no different than a parent giving rewards like ice cream for good grades or skittles for potty training. The doctors and specialists are all on board with this plan and it has helped him open up.

And he does have snacks that he receives more often that are sugar free like fruit snacks, Popsicles, and Jello. He only has therapy 3 times a week so there is total moderation in this process. I'm sure there was just confusion on what you thought we were doing for him, but I assure you he is very healthy and monitored closely by the doctors.

I would appreciate from this point on no one commenting on my son or his eating habits because this is not about my son, it's about me. I know the replies are coming from a place of love and concern but I shouldn't need to defend my doctor approved therapy for my son.

I do, however, understand how frustrating of a situation you must be in and wish you the very best of luck as you continue navigating treatment options for your son. I hope he has much success with the new tactics you have in place.

[jillybeanRN 76]

Thanks for sharing! We are human, just keep it in perspective. We will all have some days like that, and probably won't know why. Just like an alcoholic or drug addict, we will ALWAYS be addicts. I am realizing it more and more. This surgery is a great tool -- but we still make the choices on what to put in.

You should be proud of how far you've come!!

[bossportsgal 136]

Thank you for your concern, but I think you are misunderstanding what we are using treats for. He's not using food to cope with Autism, we use treats as incentives to complete certain tasks. For example, if the speech and language pathologist is over and he reads a whole page in a book he gets an M&M for each page he completes. If he talks and engages in therapy he gets rewarded. If he completes all of his physical therapy (usually swimming) he gets a bag of chips. It's no different than a parent giving rewards like ice cream for good grades or skittles for potty training. The doctors and specialists are all on board with this plan and it has helped him open up.

And he does have Snacks that he receives more often that are sugar free like fruit snacks, Popsicles, and Jello. He only has therapy 3 times a week so there is total moderation in this process. I'm sure there was just confusion on what you thought we were doing for him, but I assure you he is very healthy and monitored closely by the doctors.

I would appreciate from this point on no one commenting on my son or his eating habits because this is not about my son, it's about me. I know the replies are coming from a place of love and concern but I shouldn't need to defend my doctor approved therapy for my son.

I do, however, understand how frustrating of a situation you must be in and wish you the very best of luck as you continue navigating treatment options for your son. I hope he has much success with the new tactics you have in place.

Oh ok yes I misunderstood. Best of luck on your journey and best of everything with your son. I know it's hard and I'm sure your doing a great job.

[1poundatatime 174]

Live and learn!

Thanks for sharing! In the early days it's hard to imagine being able to eat much of anything, so it's a good reminder of the importance of sticking with the plan and always being prepared.

[Please 188]

I ate some Oreo Cookies , like 6 of the thin ones, and I didn't have painful cramps, but I did get diarrhea, and it made me feelnauseated, tired and played out. I was glad it did.

[thiasmom 18]

Oh...!!!! I'm glad I'm not alone on this! I've been craving salty things so I've had chips not going to lie they were so delicious BUT I know my journey is a work in progress and I too beat myself up because I'm at a stall for last two months well I lost 3 pounds. Total 95 pounds total but I was sleeved 11/15/16 and lost 43 pounds before surgery then 52 since 11/15/16. Today is 5/10/17. I'm starting to feel depressed like I'm failing not able to lose 10/20 pounds in a month. I believe I need to go to a group to talk things out plus I noticed my lose skin and I dislike it so much. I'm happy I had surgery because I'm no longer diabetic or have high blood pressure. I went from size 20/22 to size 10/12 and still I don't like what I see without clothes. I can't sleep thru the night now I think my honeymoon with my weight lose it over [emoji853]