Don't read if you will be triggered -Sad & upsetting post about a needless death

[MzCoffee 23]

A terrible, terrible thing happened today in our apartment building.

A fire broke out - no one knows how yet - in the apartment of an elderly couple.

We were all evacuated, even though it was in a different wing of the building (3 different elevator banks & we're adjacent) in part b/c we have a child & in part b/c this is NYC and fires move fast b/c the buildings are so close & often without firewalls.
The guys who work in our building are truly amazing & they were able to get out the wife, but the man - an elderly, sick man who was weak & needed a lot of help to move around plus a walker - was too heavy for three of the building staff to pick up and move. It was incredibly smoky & hot & eventually they just had to retreat from the apartment & leave that poor man there by himself, obviously desperately hoping the firefighters would get there in time. They didn't. One of our maintenance guys - who is both very tough & very kind literally had his face blackened with soot & was in tears because he couldn't lift the man up & out of the bed. The poor man tried to lift himself & couldn't. My father who was a strong athlete, was also very, very weak at the end of his life so I know how impossible it must have been for that elderly man to move himself - but three maintenance guys couldn't move him either because he was too heavy.

My wife knew him - they were on our co-op board together & I didn't even know him by sight. She says that we have to recognize that we have no control over how our lives will end, we can do our best but in the end it is not always up to us. In the Jewish tradition every year on Yom Kippur, our holiest day and the time when we repent & promise to try harder to do better in the upcoming year, the Bible reminds us that some will die in the upcoming year, some peacefully ad some "in fire" and that we don't know what will happen to us, it is in G-d's hands, not ours. We can only control trying to be the best possible person that each of us can be, but I feel so personally helpless today. And of course, I am thinking that everyone keeps saying that the man who perished in the fire was at least 300 pounds - close to my weight - which was why they couldn't move him when they most needed and wanted to do so.

I keep thinking about everyone's feelings of helplessness & despair here, and how so many people tried to change the outcome and couldn't.

This has just been so heart-breaking & upsetting and I have just felt so sad & awful about this all day. I am praying that he was unconscious from the smoke quickly, so that he didn't have a long time to know what was happening to him and obviously so that he didn't die in terrible pain. We will do whatever we can for his poor wife and for the workers in our building who are clearly traumatized by this. But that doesn't really change any of it, does it?

It's the first time I've really experienced first-hand how one's weight can literally be the difference between life & death, and how it can deeply affect others around you as well.

Thanks for a space where I can just write some of the sadness down. May the memory of Leon Gold be for a blessing.

[Deactivatedfatgal 377]

:/ oh I'm sorry for the lost of this elderly mans life. His poor wife! this is just heartbreaking! Praying for everyone at that apartment complex and this family.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

It was a tough read but honestly that one of the reasons I wanted to lose weight. Who cold carry me? If I needed to be rescued who could do it?

It is just a reminder to be diligent about your health and not to take anything for granted.

Glad you are okay, OP.

[Nynjesq 24]

I'm sorry for what you're going through. My condolences to Mr. Gold's family. There are some things in life that we cannot control. Take comfort in the great Mitzva you have performed by just writing this post.

[Introversion 1,876]

I am so very sorry for this loss. May the passage of time ease the enormous pain of all persons involved. Please accept my heartfelt condolences.

My own mother died a few months ago at the untimely age of 58. She was morbidly obese and had fallen at home. My very slender father could not assist her up off the floor due to her weight, so he telephoned 911 to facilitate her transport to a local hospital. She died a few weeks later. Her multiple illnesses were exacerbated by obesity.

It makes me wonder about the human toll that morbid obesity has taken, as well as all the years that have been cut from peoples' lives. It is truly sad.

[Sosewsue61 3,185]

My heart goes out to everyone grieving, we must all respect everyone for their struggles and be kinder in our words and deeds. Bless everyone going through this sadness.

[MzCoffee 23]

On 5/5/2017 at 5:52 PM, Deactivatedfatgal said:

:/ oh I'm sorry for the lost of this elderly mans life. His poor wife! this is just heartbreaking! Praying for everyone at that apartment complex and this family.

Thank you so much for your kindness and sympathy.

[MzCoffee 23]

On 5/6/2017 at 7:16 AM, Sosewsue61 said:

My heart goes out to everyone grieving, we must all respect everyone for their struggles and be kinder in our words and deeds. Bless everyone going through this sadness.

Thank you so much for your kind response - I appreciate your sympathy & support.

[MzCoffee 23]

On 5/5/2017 at 9:29 PM, Introversion said:

I am so very sorry for this loss. May the passage of time ease the enormous pain of all persons involved. Please accept my heartfelt condolences.

My own mother died a few months ago at the untimely age of 58. She was morbidly obese and had fallen at home. My very slender father could not assist her up off the floor due to her weight, so he telephoned 911 to facilitate her transport to a local hospital. She died a few weeks later. Her multiple illnesses were exacerbated by obesity.

It makes me wonder about the human toll that morbid obesity has taken, as well as all the years that have been cut from peoples' lives. It is truly sad.

Thank you so much for your condolences.

I am so very sorry about your Mother's untimely death. How heartbreaking for you and your family. It's so painful to lose a parent, at any age, but losing a parent a too young an age exacerbates that pain. I think that there must be a lot of these stories, that people often don't share out of shame and embarrassment. Thank you for sharing it with me.

I really appreciate your kindness and sympathy - it does help.

May your Mother's memory be for a blessing.

[MzCoffee 23]

On 5/5/2017 at 7:37 PM, Nynjesq said:

I'm sorry for what you're going through. My condolences to Mr. Gold's family. There are some things in life that we cannot control. Take comfort in the great Mitzva you have performed by just writing this post.

Thank you so much for being so kind - I really appreciate it, and it helps.

[MzCoffee 23]

On 5/5/2017 at 6:54 PM, OutsideMatchInside said:

It was a tough read but honestly that one of the reasons I wanted to lose weight. Who cold carry me? If I needed to be rescued who could do it?

It is just a reminder to be diligent about your health and not to take anything for granted.

Glad you are okay, OP.

Thank you. I really appreciate your honesty. My parent's health difficulties were part of the reason I wanted to lose weight as well, but I had never really thought about the fact that I couldn't be lifted, and it is a chilling idea. Thank you for reaching out - it really helps.