I've changed about food, my family hasn't.

[BostonGary 106]

Are other people struggling with having far less of an appetite for food, not caring as much about food but their family or loved ones haven't adjusted to your changes?

After I was sleeved, my diet changed, my desire for food is far less and I want to treat food like a "chore" -- not a desire.

In fact, it's not really something I'm trying to do, it's the way I am now and I like it.

I feel like when I'm hungry, I'll eat -- and them I'm done. I don't think about food much and when I do, I can eat small meal and I'm done.

This is not working well with my family.

Because I do all the cooking around here and even the food shopping, my family seems to be the worst support system around because they are constantly concerned about when we're eating, what we're eating and what we're buying for food.

I feel like because others have the same appetite around food and that I was the main source of meals and shopping, they haven't adjusted to my changes.

Them: "What's for dinner tonight?"

Me: "Who cares, I'm not worried about that."

-- I get looks like "what's the matter with Dad?"

Anyone else experiencing this?

Edited May 3, 2017 by BostonGary

[Flikster 12]

What a wonderful mind shift for you. Congrats, it must feel awesome!
I am only 6 days post op, but you know what? I can already see I will have the same problem.
Not sure how I'll navigate it, would love some advice from the WLS veterans.

Thrilled not to be hungry! [emoji38]

[BostonGary 106]

I don't mean to make my family out to be unsupportive on purpose. But to be clear, I'm the one who had the surgery, not them -- so I can understand that their world hasn't changed much.

In fact, they've been supportive and love what they see from me and my weight loss.

But for them, their relationship with food hasn't changed. Mine has.

What I have been trying to do is tell them, "Yeah, I'm not concerned about eating as much as you are. You're free to cook for yourself to adjust to your schedule or when you want to eat."

They don't quite get it. What I want to do is treat it tactically. They want to keep treating it as an "event".

If that makes any sense.

[Flikster 12]

I totally get what you mean, my family has been amazing support too, it's like being on a solo mission.....but with people [emoji53]

Thrilled not to be hungry! [emoji38]

[john925 175]

I generally have the same mind set as you. But unlike you I don't have a family to provide meals for! If i didn't have surgery and lived at home and my mom had it and the role was reversed I definitely would be voicing the same issues as your family. I think it's great you have changed your mentality with food that is key to success long term but I don't think it's fair to have them adjust their routines and what they're used to because you don't eat like a normal person. I would still provide food and meals like you did prior and then choose when, what, how much etc you want to eat.

[PatientEleventyBillion 851]

My wife is adjusting her diet significantly because of my pre-op diet and, due to everything I learned over the course of that 3 month diet, my post-op diet plans, and seeing how successful it's been at dropping my weight and drastically improving other health issues associated. I've expressed my concern numerous times to her because she has PCOS, and I've told her I don't want her to experience what I went through with my weight gain. She wants us to have more children but I don't want to until she gets her weight down (she's around 205, like 80 pounds over her weight), to reduce the chances of situations like gestational diabetes, never mind the risks she runs of diabetes in general with her current weight (adding weight only making that situation potentially worse). Changing the diet helps doubly not only with her own health but with the health of any children we have (especially as a fetus).

Edited May 3, 2017 by PatientEleventyBillion

[Deactivatedfatgal 377]

3 minutes ago, PatientEleventyBillion said:

My wife is adjusting her diet significantly because of my pre-op diet and, due to everything I learned over the course of that 3 month diet, my post-op diet plans, and seeing how successful it's been at dropping my weight and drastically improving other health issues associated. I've expressed my concern numerous times to her because she has PCOS, and I've told her I don't want her to experience what I went through with my weight gain. She wants us to have more children but I don't want to until she gets her weight down (she's around 205, like 80 pounds over her weight), to reduce the chances of situations like gestational diabetes, never mind the risks she runs of diabetes in general with her current weight (adding weight only making that situation potentially worse). Changing the diet helps doubly not only with her own health but with the health of any children we have (especially as a fetus).

This was one the driving forces in my decision. I began having fertility issues & was nearly prediabetic (sugar was 98) while fasting. Best of luck!

[PatientEleventyBillion 851]

7 minutes ago, Deactivatedfatgal said:

This was one the driving forces in my decision. I began having fertility issues & was nearly prediabetic (sugar was 98) while fasting. Best of luck!

Fertility issues are certainly a concern of our doctors, especially since this PCOS diagnosis and that she rarely has her periods anymore unless on birth control. It's very odd to me since I know so little about this. I actually wonder if it has to do with her PUPPP condition she had that started in her third trimester of her last pregnancy with our daughter, caused hives and such, was supposed to go away with giving birth, but never did.. and 6 years later she still takes Reactine (antihistamine) to prevent hives from occurring on her midsection and arms. In some ways I'm actually worried about other pregnancies and how her body will react to it, assuming she even can get pregnant.

Edited May 3, 2017 by PatientEleventyBillion

[1poundatatime 174]

I'm a mom of 5 small kids and do 100% of the shopping as well as the vast majority of the cooking.

For the first two weeks, my hubby stepped up big time and took over most of that. I simply wasn't thinking about food. I love cooking and not being able to eat (not even wanting to eat) made meal prep such a chore. After about two weeks, I got back at it and now that I'm able to eat (in tiny portions), it's become much easier for me. The other day I made an amazing roast beef dinner and enjoyed every bite of roast, gravy, brussels, and carrots... I skipped the potatoes

It's a tricky balance with family. I'm the only one who struggles with my weight.