Why do I do it to myself?

[Nancy B 0]

I guess this would apply to people like Dee as well too right?

When someone threatens my life, I figure they sort of crossed the line of decency.

[anonemouse 1]

I guess this would apply to people like Dee as well too right?

Of course it wouldn't. In Dee's case, she's not someone that they publicly supported. She's just the nutjob and fair game. EVERYONE knows she's a wacko. It's not hypocrisy, then. Funny how they support Sandy but fail to speak up on behalf of Dee.

[anonemouse 1]

When someone threatens my life, I figure they sort of crossed the line of decency.

The same holds for someone who spreads lies about another person, telling people that they've worked with their doctor and "you won't believe what he told me!!!!".

[skmsu 0]

When someone threatens my life, I figure they sort of crossed the line of decency.

We all know that that was not totally unprovoked. You decided to make a big ass deal by tracking her IP address and making a post about it on OH. You knew her history, you knew what she was like, but you chose to poke a stick at the hornet's nest anyway. What she did was totally unacceptable, but also totally preventable had you not provoked someone that you knew was a powder keg. Or to say it another way if you had treated her as you had just posted about here.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

Oh man, I so wanted to never be involved in another one of these discussions, but since I know you are talking about me I will give my side of this particular part of the story. One moment while I put my body armor on.

Yes, I did say that I would out Sandy myself if I found that she was lying on the boards. I believe this was around the May-June time frame, but you can't do a search in OH for me to find the related posts. The reason I did not follow up was that Sandy provided me with very specific details of her past. Nothing to brag about, and also nothing to hide, IMHO. She was very open over a period of emails, and I made the decision at that time that it was her story to tell, not mine.

During this same period we had one or two other dramas occurring in OH. Some of you will remember. I try very very hard to be fair and supportive of everyone, but there were two specific people that yanked my chain a little too much and totally pissed me off. Emails and PM's were flying around like crazy. Accusations everywhere. Responses to posts that were in disagreement with the original poster could be pulled, and so we had a lot of one-sided threads that made no sense. I replied to one poster, politely yet in disagreement, and my reply was pulled by the poster. But NOT BEFORE people had replied to me, so none of the thread made sense. <By the way - that is one area where LBT wins over OH)

Anyway....

While I did my research, I also researched in depth the person who offended me (hey, fair's fair). I found historic things that were inflammatory. So I decided at that point that I had to give fair time to my discoveries, or post nothing at all. I chose to post nothing. What I found is someone's very personal history. Just the same as Sandy's very personal history. I saw the crap flying on both sides (and still do) about Sandy, and knew if I posted the other information that it would just start something even more out of control. And f**k it, I think all of us have something in our past we'd rather not share. Except maybe me, because I tell everybody everything about myself - I don't care how people judge me (ok it took 2 years of therapy to get to that point and I advise it for all of us:kiss2:).

So....

1) I did go back on my word to 'out' Sandy, because she provided her own history to me in confidence. It would be pretty cold-blooded to go post that in my mind. I apologize to you for never going back to tell you this. I just so want to get past this stuff.

2) When someone else asked me - I didn't see the point. If I were going to do anything, I would have talked to you first. Why would I talk to someone else?

3) I am not now, nor have I ever been, a 300 lb cheerleader. I try to be supportive of everyone. I try to turn ugly conversations into humor so that we can get past them. And I will post cheerleader icons in jest. I agree that OH should consider a forum like LBT has for R&R - I really enjoy this section in my own perverse way, and it would solve some of the issues over there.

4) I don't believe that I was duped in any way. I just made a decision, right or wrong, to walk away from it. The whole issue is freakin' poison, and I have lived with non-band related health issues (including 2 surgeries) in the last year and I don't need any more poison in my body.

****:sickAnd I would love any good thoughts to come my way in the hopes that my latest round of blood tests that I took today are closer to normal. And hey - I just realized that I could get it all out of my system in this R&R section if I need to - very cool. ****

So, if somebody wants to know why I did or did not do or say anything - just ask. If I see the post I will respond to it. I simply made a decision to move on. I am very sorry I didn't address it immediately, but it just wasn't the highlight of my life at that time. I am only writing now because I finally get it. This topic will NEVER die down. And that's ok because so many people get enjoyment from it. Just leave me out of it, and call me out directly by name and give me a chance. I have a computer of some sort with me 24x7 because of my job, and am usually on one of the various IM's. I'm happy to talk. Yeah talking is what I do best.

I still love OH. The drama has been long gone, except for some new OH members who post tongue-in-cheek to stir things up at times. And those are funny to me because so many people take them seriously. I have many friends there - people that I met in real life when I traveled for my job as well as many in the Central Texas area.

I like LBT too. I haven't learned to navigate here as well, but I do enjoy it and have met some great people here. I am happy to debate anybody over anything - except for that one topic. My quota has been exceeded.

Thanks - hope I am still welcome here. I will continue to wear the body armor until I feel it is safe to come out. And keep in mind that body armor is freakin' heavy and I weigh each and every morning so I need to take it off.

Chelle...

Yes, you are the person I was referring to in the other post but JFTR, I would have NEVER posted your name because what was written was via PM.

But... Since you are here and posting, I have a few questions for you.

1) You told me if what I was telling you was true you would "out" Sandy yourself. Clearly, you had to have discovered I was being honest. She is unlicensed, she has a criminal record, she lied to the Boards of Nursing, she lies repeatedly about currently being licensed, the NP routine, writing papers with Kuri (not talking band booklet here), and everything else. My question here is... can you see how this promotes the "cheerleader" mentality discussed her previously? I mean, NOW you say that it is her story to tell. Can you see why we look at this with a raised eyebrow?

2) Do you feel there is any right or justification for lying repeatedly over the years about being licensed in the medical profession? I mean, you have to admit that the only real reason to do that is to give herself more credibility that an unlicensed nurse would not have otherwise and to promote herself financially. Does that sound like morality or integrity to you?

3) Claiming to be licensed when in fact, she is not is a felony. Do you feel it is wrong or unfair to report her to the appropriate folks for this?

4) Why do you feel this whole issue is poison? Because what I claimed turned out to be true? There is an unlicensed nurse on OH that is in so many words telling people their doctors are wrong and she is right and she doesn't even have the integrity to explain she's a liar and a thief. She is no more licensed than my Shih Tzu is. There is poison within this issue but it isn't that the truth came to light, it is that Sandy brought this one on herself.

5) She's been banned from 8 boards that I know of, all fat boards. Do you honestly believe that is everyone at the 8 boards or do you think she's demonstrated behaviors that earn her all the bans?

You know, I agree with you that we ALL have tidbits in hidden in our past that we wouldn't necessarily want brought out in the open. Our entire lives are not a free for all for fat boards. I agree with you there. BUT, I think there comes a time when someone is posing as something she isn't, giving out poor advice in some cases, basing credibility on a license that doesn't exist, and has been caught lying so many times it's believed by likely the majority that if it is coming from her keyboard, it's a lie.

Any profession is going to have a certain amount of pride. We all have to work hard to maintain our licensing and when someone such as Sandy is behaving as she is, currently breaking laws that are a felony, showing herself as an example of the nursing profession, and claiming SHE is doing what is necessary to maintain a license, can you see how that might piss off those who actually DO those things? The things necessary to maintain a license? It's a bit like a turf war between RNs and medical assistants. There are RNs who report MD offices that claim to have nurses when in fact, they have CMAs. I have five years of education and a CMA has 6-9 months. Yet they refer to themselves as nurses. It's the same mentality. Many bust their back sides to maintain a license in good standing and then you have Sandy who is just a complete and total horse's ass claiming she does the same. It's infuriating.

There is a great deal of information that I have on Sandy that I haven't told a bloody soul and I won't repeat it either. The reason I won't is because it has nothing to do with what is happening today. It has nothing to do with her crappy behaviors today, the lies, deceit, the works. It IS personal. It shouldn't have been as easy as it was to find but it was. I don't discuss those issues. But I will discredit her when she's lying and you are right, this issue is NEVER going to die down. But that isn't really the fault of anyone but Sandy.

Had she not pretended to be something she isn't none of this would have ever been an issue. Had she not lied to promote herself financially and professionally none of this would have ever been the least bit of an issue. It would have been her own personal business. But she is the one that decided to pretend she is something she isn't. She gets what she gets.

[Nancy B 0]

We all know that that was not totally unprovoked. You decided to make a big ass deal by tracking her IP address and making a post about it on OH. You knew her history, you knew what she was like, but you chose to poke a stick at the hornet's nest anyway. What she did was totally unacceptable, but also totally preventable had you not provoked someone that you knew was a powder keg. Or to say it another way if you had treated her as you had just posted about here.

Actually I didn't know what a nut job she was. She BEGGED me with one PM after another to post her IP address. I can't imagine why she thought she could get by with that one...but anyway. I do feel bad about that, because it was at that time, that I realize how twisted she really is. I feel bad because I'm sure she is someone who actually needs the lapband community, and she's been sort of run off, or left voluntarily. She is one, that if she asked forgiveness, I would give it to her 100% and welcome her back. I really liked her.

[lindaa 1]

WOW! I'm glad I don't know what this is all about, but it does make for some interesting reading and helps keep my mind off of food. As a nurse educator, all I have to say is that misrepresenting one's self as a nurse is a punishable offense and should be reported to the licensing board of the state the individual claims to be licensed in. It is their duty to protect the public by investigating such claims. Also, any nurse knows (or should know) not to give out medical advice--that constitutes practicing medicine without a license. Too bad there aren't any lawyers here!

[anonemouse 1]

Actually I didn't know what a nut job she was. She BEGGED me with one PM after another to post her IP address. I can't imagine why she thought she could get by with that one...but anyway. I do feel bad about that, because it was at that time, that I realize how twisted she really is. I feel bad because I'm sure she is someone who actually needs the lapband community, and she's been sort of run off, or left voluntarily. She is one, that if she asked forgiveness, I would give it to her 100% and welcome her back. I really liked her.

<br /> No offense, but we all knew Dee was a wacko. I had her on my friends list, but I still knew she wasn't all there. It was joked about so often on OH (in that nice, no names mentioned way of talking about people that y'all have) that I fail to see how you missed her wackiness.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

Of course it wouldn't. In Dee's case, she's not someone that they publicly supported. She's just the nutjob and fair game. EVERYONE knows she's a wacko. It's not hypocrisy, then. Funny how they support Sandy but fail to speak up on behalf of Dee.

You know what? This is a good point.

I don't like Dee. Never have. I thought she was a big 'ol pain in the butt the first time I ever met her. She's one of the people that chased me away from OH when I was a newbie.

But later she was being treated like pooh and the reality is, she's mentally ill. I mean, there is no question about that. She admits it, it's obvious. The lady has problems. I came back to OH and this time I was wiser and stronger and I went to bat against the cheerleaders. I defended Dee for a reason, it was a bit like picking on a mentally retarded kid.

I agree with drawing lines with personal harm. *I* am the one that personally emailed Sandy when Dee told me things that led me to believe she might harm Sandy. Exposing a liar is one thing, posting private contact info and making threats is quite another.

Then it was said I was playing both sides of the fence. I wasn't, I was being me, same person as always. The way Dee was being treated and teased was just plain wrong. If she was a "healthier" person that would be one thing but you just don't pick on a mentally ill person. It's wrong. And doing that brings about the anger and hostility in that mentally ill person to DO harm.

I make decisions according to what I believe is right or wrong regardless if I "Like" the person. I believe this is the superior stance, most on OH would disagree with me via their actions.

[skmsu 0]

Chelle...

Yes, you are the person I was referring to in the other post but JFTR, I would have NEVER posted your name because what was written was via PM.

But... Since you are here and posting, I have a few questions for you.

1) You told me if what I was telling you was true you would "out" Sandy yourself. Clearly, you had to have discovered I was being honest. She is unlicensed, she has a criminal record, she lied to the Boards of Nursing, she lies repeatedly about currently being licensed, the NP routine, writing papers with Kuri (not talking band booklet here), and everything else. My question here is... can you see how this promotes the "cheerleader" mentality discussed her previously? I mean, NOW you say that it is her story to tell. Can you see why we look at this with a raised eyebrow?

2) Do you feel there is any right or justification for lying repeatedly over the years about being licensed in the medical profession? I mean, you have to admit that the only real reason to do that is to give herself more credibility that an unlicensed nurse would not have otherwise and to promote herself financially. Does that sound like morality or integrity to you?

3) Claiming to be licensed when in fact, she is not is a felony. Do you feel it is wrong or unfair to report her to the appropriate folks for this?

4) Why do you feel this whole issue is poison? Because what I claimed turned out to be true? There is an unlicensed nurse on OH that is in so many words telling people their doctors are wrong and she is right and she doesn't even have the integrity to explain she's a liar and a thief. She is no more licensed than my Shih Tzu is. There is poison within this issue but it isn't that the truth came to light, it is that Sandy brought this one on herself.

5) She's been banned from 8 boards that I know of, all fat boards. Do you honestly believe that is everyone at the 8 boards or do you think she's demonstrated behaviors that earn her all the bans?

You know, I agree with you that we ALL have tidbits in hidden in our past that we wouldn't necessarily want brought out in the open. Our entire lives are not a free for all for fat boards. I agree with you there. BUT, I think there comes a time when someone is posing as something she isn't, giving out poor advice in some cases, basing credibility on a license that doesn't exist, and has been caught lying so many times it's believed by likely the majority that if it is coming from her keyboard, it's a lie.

Any profession is going to have a certain amount of pride. We all have to work hard to maintain our licensing and when someone such as Sandy is behaving as she is, currently breaking laws that are a felony, showing herself as an example of the nursing profession, and claiming SHE is doing what is necessary to maintain a license, can you see how that might piss off those who actually DO those things? The things necessary to maintain a license? It's a bit like a turf war between RNs and medical assistants. There are RNs who report MD offices that claim to have nurses when in fact, they have CMAs. I have five years of education and a CMA has 6-9 months. Yet they refer to themselves as nurses. It's the same mentality. Many bust their back sides to maintain a license in good standing and then you have Sandy who is just a complete and total horse's ass claiming she does the same. It's infuriating.

There is a great deal of information that I have on Sandy that I haven't told a bloody soul and I won't repeat it either. The reason I won't is because it has nothing to do with what is happening today. It has nothing to do with her crappy behaviors today, the lies, deceit, the works. It IS personal. It shouldn't have been as easy as it was to find but it was. I don't discuss those issues. But I will discredit her when she's lying and you are right, this issue is NEVER going to die down. But that isn't really the fault of anyone but Sandy.

Had she not pretended to be something she isn't none of this would have ever been an issue. Had she not lied to promote herself financially and professionally none of this would have ever been the least bit of an issue. It would have been her own personal business. But she is the one that decided to pretend she is something she isn't. She gets what she gets.

Let's not forget her rny causes cancer posts. She has no publications in peer reviewed journals. I do, but she questioned me being a cancer researcher on OH because I disputed her claim and posted literature that showed it was incorrect.

[Chelle B 0]

Chelle...

Yes, you are the person I was referring to in the other post but JFTR, I would have NEVER posted your name because what was written was via PM.

But... Since you are here and posting, I have a few questions for you.

1) You told me if what I was telling you was true you would "out" Sandy yourself. Clearly, you had to have discovered I was being honest. She is unlicensed, she has a criminal record, she lied to the Boards of Nursing, she lies repeatedly about currently being licensed, the NP routine, writing papers with Kuri (not talking band booklet here), and everything else. My question here is... can you see how this promotes the "cheerleader" mentality discussed her previously? I mean, NOW you say that it is her story to tell. Can you see why we look at this with a raised eyebrow?

2) Do you feel there is any right or justification for lying repeatedly over the years about being licensed in the medical profession? I mean, you have to admit that the only real reason to do that is to give herself more credibility that an unlicensed nurse would not have otherwise and to promote herself financially. Does that sound like morality or integrity to you?

3) Claiming to be licensed when in fact, she is not is a felony. Do you feel it is wrong or unfair to report her to the appropriate folks for this?

4) Why do you feel this whole issue is poison? Because what I claimed turned out to be true? There is an unlicensed nurse on OH that is in so many words telling people their doctors are wrong and she is right and she doesn't even have the integrity to explain she's a liar and a thief. She is no more licensed than my Shih Tzu is. There is poison within this issue but it isn't that the truth came to light, it is that Sandy brought this one on herself.

5) She's been banned from 8 boards that I know of, all fat boards. Do you honestly believe that is everyone at the 8 boards or do you think she's demonstrated behaviors that earn her all the bans?

You know, I agree with you that we ALL have tidbits in hidden in our past that we wouldn't necessarily want brought out in the open. Our entire lives are not a free for all for fat boards. I agree with you there. BUT, I think there comes a time when someone is posing as something she isn't, giving out poor advice in some cases, basing credibility on a license that doesn't exist, and has been caught lying so many times it's believed by likely the majority that if it is coming from her keyboard, it's a lie.

Any profession is going to have a certain amount of pride. We all have to work hard to maintain our licensing and when someone such as Sandy is behaving as she is, currently breaking laws that are a felony, showing herself as an example of the nursing profession, and claiming SHE is doing what is necessary to maintain a license, can you see how that might piss off those who actually DO those things? The things necessary to maintain a license? It's a bit like a turf war between RNs and medical assistants. There are RNs who report MD offices that claim to have nurses when in fact, they have CMAs. I have five years of education and a CMA has 6-9 months. Yet they refer to themselves as nurses. It's the same mentality. Many bust their back sides to maintain a license in good standing and then you have Sandy who is just a complete and total horse's ass claiming she does the same. It's infuriating.

There is a great deal of information that I have on Sandy that I haven't told a bloody soul and I won't repeat it either. The reason I won't is because it has nothing to do with what is happening today. It has nothing to do with her crappy behaviors today, the lies, deceit, the works. It IS personal. It shouldn't have been as easy as it was to find but it was. I don't discuss those issues. But I will discredit her when she's lying and you are right, this issue is NEVER going to die down. But that isn't really the fault of anyone but Sandy.

Had she not pretended to be something she isn't none of this would have ever been an issue. Had she not lied to promote herself financially and professionally none of this would have ever been the least bit of an issue. It would have been her own personal business. But she is the one that decided to pretend she is something she isn't. She gets what she gets.

Well, since I didn't out Sandy, I thought I could at least out myself on this one. Although I will say that this totally makes my head hurt. Anyway, I will answer the best I can.

1) What I discovered first came from a voluntary email from her. That kinda stopped me in my tracks. I have certain personal convictions that might not make sense to anybody (so my DH has told me) but they are mine and I believe in those convictions. I can understand the cheerleader comment - I was only pissed that someone would use a weight like 300# in a derogatory way on a weight loss forum. Although it was an effective method of bringing attention to the debate. So maybe you don't want to believe me, but I did back off for precisely the reasons stated.

2) Sure, people will use whatever they think they have at their disposal to lend credibility to their discussions. Human nature. The moral approach is always honesty.

3) It is a person's responsibility as an American to report illegal behavior, although we don't do it in our society very often, unless there is a personal reason.

4) It's poison because this whole discussion brings out anger and frustration and meanness on all sides. I look at life as a yardstick. If today is one yardstick, and I spent hours in anger over anything - then I have allowed the situation to poison my day. I can't help the fact that I look for the good in everybody, and in every situation. It is simply who I am.

5) I've never had a discussion about who has been banned at the boards and it rarely makes a difference anyway as people come back and reinvent themselves. I've never stated what I believe so I am not sure why you ask the question.

" Any profession is going to have a certain amount of pride." Now this is the FIRST argument in the whole mess that makes sense to me. I'm generally oblivious to what career a person has chosen unless we have discussed it. So YOUR personal anger and frustration make total sense to me now. I don't read every post and I have to admit that all along I thought you were on the warpath simply to placate Wendell. THAT I didn't understand.:tired I have a sister and niece who are nurses, and they work unbelievable hours and work it with a passion for the profession. So NOW I get your feelings. For the first time! (and by the way, my baby sis delivered a baby in the hallway of the ER last night all by herself! WOW I am humbled by hearing that...)

[skmsu 0]

<br /> No offense, but we all knew Dee was a wacko. I had her on my friends list, but I still knew she wasn't all there. It was joked about so often on OH (in that nice, no names mentioned way of talking about people that y'all have) that I fail to see how you missed her wackiness.

Thank you Lauren! It was obvious to everyone and though I didn't see any PM's from Dee to Nancy, I did see posts from Nancy that kept asking Dee to email her so that she could check her IP address. It was a sport for them. I know it and they know it.

[Nancy B 0]

Thank you Lauren! It was obvious to everyone and though I didn't see any PM's from Dee to Nancy, I did see posts from Nancy that kept asking Dee to email her so that she could check her IP address. It was a sport for them. I know it and they know it.

And I'm not going to share Dee's PM's to me. That would be cruel.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

Well, since I didn't out Sandy, I thought I could at least out myself on this one. Although I will say that this totally makes my head hurt. Anyway, I will answer the best I can.

1) What I discovered first came from a voluntary email from her. That kinda stopped me in my tracks. I have certain personal convictions that might not make sense to anybody (so my DH has told me) but they are mine and I believe in those convictions. I can understand the cheerleader comment - I was only pissed that someone would use a weight like 300# in a derogatory way on a weight loss forum. Although it was an effective method of bringing attention to the debate. So maybe you don't want to believe me, but I did back off for precisely the reasons stated.

So I am reading this that you CAN see the cheerleader mentality others may be considering right now? Understand, I'm not saying you're doing the cheerleader routine but instead the perception.

2) Sure, people will use whatever they think they have at their disposal to lend credibility to their discussions. Human nature. The moral approach is always honesty.

So... there is no right or justification to lie about being a licensed RN or all the other issues of honesty. That's what I am reading, please correct me if I am wrong.

3) It is a person's responsibility as an American to report illegal behavior, although we don't do it in our society very often, unless there is a personal reason.

Fair enough.

4) It's poison because this whole discussion brings out anger and frustration and meanness on all sides. I look at life as a yardstick. If today is one yardstick, and I spent hours in anger over anything - then I have allowed the situation to poison my day. I can't help the fact that I look for the good in everybody, and in every situation. It is simply who I am.

You see, I see things differently. I don't see truth being exposed as poison. Not even a little. When someone is posing as something they are not, exposing that person is a good thing.

5) I've never had a discussion about who has been banned at the boards and it rarely makes a difference anyway as people come back and reinvent themselves. I've never stated what I believe so I am not sure why you ask the question.

As tactful of a response as that is, it still does not answer my question. If someone (anyone) is banned from 8 fat boards, is it reasonable to believe it is the person that is banned vs. everyone else that might have an issue?

" Any profession is going to have a certain amount of pride." Now this is the FIRST argument in the whole mess that makes sense to me. I'm generally oblivious to what career a person has chosen unless we have discussed it. So YOUR personal anger and frustration make total sense to me now. I don't read every post and I have to admit that all along I thought you were on the warpath simply to placate Wendell. THAT I didn't understand.:tired I have a sister and niece who are nurses, and they work unbelievable hours and work it with a passion for the profession. So NOW I get your feelings. For the first time! (and by the way, my baby sis delivered a baby in the hallway of the ER last night all by herself! WOW I am humbled by hearing that...)

I don't do anything to placate anyone. Dee?? Hello?? I don't even like Dee but I did what I did because I thought it was the right thing to do. It's just not in my personality to placate anyone. Just as you, I have my own set of right and wrong and I do my very best to live by that. I don't always do as I wish in hindsight, but I do try. But placate anyone? Noooo, not me.

I am one whole heck of a lot of things. I'm mouthy, opinionated, without tact, without diplomacy... okay, you get the point. But I'm not dishonest and I don't do what others want me to do just to make a buddy. I do what *I* think is right. Sometimes that bites me in the ass. That's okay, if I'm doing what I think is right at the moment then I can live with the bite.

[skmsu 0]

And I'm not going to share Dee's PM's to me. That would be cruel.

and pointless, I don't think you have convinced anyone here that you were not aware of Dee's mental state.