Food anonymous, (like AA but good)

[mycree 14]

Hi all, I was just thinking about how my relationship with food has affected my whole life and how it has lead me to todays post sleeve. I thought we might all benefit from talking about the emotional aspects of this journey. Make a few friends and keep each other motivated and balanced.

Now I'm not saying we need to do the whole, it's been 4weeks since my last stress eating or anything but I wouldn't shy away. I guess I'll start, jump in if ya not scared.

I was homeless for a 9months as a kid. (13yrs old) This is where my relationship with food started to go bad. Being hungry all the time and having nothing to stop the pain or fill the void was horrible. The blinding Migraines, gut wrenching spasms and dry heaves over powering every thought. I was very angry and picked fights often to deal with my anger and starvstion. I remember eating people's left overs as the went to pay their a bill at a restaurant, begging for change, being happy when a McDonald's had a to toss out old food, eatting out of the trash littered with bugs. I know gross!!!I didn't know the affect that would have on me as an adult. I managed my weight through sports but once I was out of school and working everything slowed down.

I wasn't exercising like normal, and I got pregnant. When I miss carried the stress pushed me into this survival mode. All I wanted to do was hide and my grief, anger, and shame by eatting it. Fast forward a few years and my Max weight was 253lb and I was miserable about it. Diabetes, fibromyalgia, insomnia blah blah blah all hit me and then the doc said my liver was fat. That pissed me off!! Enough that I realized it I had been 12 years fighting my weight and I was losing. I needed help. So here I am 3 weeks Monday post op. I'm down to 211lb.

My fears are around my mental fortitude. I am hungry and when it hits it hits like it did when I was starving. I feel like I can't breath and like I'm being hollowed out all over again. That makes me want to reach for the closest food. I'm doing ok now because it hurts to eat I haven't figured out how eat slower. It's like a mad dash to fill the void do though put the spoon down between bites I'm still to fast for my tummy to adjust.

Goal weight 140lb. Attitude determined but scared. Plan, therapy and support network.

So there ya have it.

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[shots95 16]

All of us are in similar situations. Growing up as a child my mother would say Children are starving in Europe so eat your food. Sixty five years later and after a failed lap band, I am finally losing the weight that needs to come off being 6 weeks after sleeve surgery. But you still think "eat everything". I am down 30 lbs since December and am still thinking "fat". Last night I went out to dinner with my son who was visiting. We went to Bone Fish Grill. I ordered just the Soup while he ordered a regular meal. Before they brought our dinners, they brought out the loaf of bread that I love. I started nibbling at the edges of the loaf but the sleeve makes you "calculate" what you can eat. I barely finished the bowl of soup. You continue to think "eat everything" but the sleeve is like a gun to your head stopping you. That s why WW or any support group is important. My wife has terrible fibromyalgia and Migraines with obesity. I am praying that the surgery in 3 months helps her. Good luck on your journey. We are all on a new journey

[mycree 14]

All of us are in similar situations. Growing up as a child my mother would say Children are starving in Europe so eat your food. Sixty five years later and after a failed lap band, I am finally losing the weight that needs to come off being 6 weeks after sleeve surgery. But you still think "eat everything". I am down 30 lbs since December and am still thinking "fat". Last night I went out to dinner with my son who was visiting. We went to Bone Fish Grill. I ordered just the Soup while he ordered a regular meal. Before they brought our dinners, they brought out the loaf of bread that I love. I started nibbling at the edges of the loaf but the sleeve makes you "calculate" what you can eat. I barely finished the bowl of soup. You continue to think "eat everything" but the sleeve is like a gun to your head stopping you. That s why WW or any support group is important. My wife has terrible fibromyalgia and Migraines with obesity. I am praying that the surgery in 3 months helps her. Good luck on your journey. We are all on a new journey

Thank you for sharing. I was worried no one would join in. You are right the breads are dangerous I love the free bread. I'm not to the point where I can go to a restaurant but you survive d a huge temptation! I wonder how how the sleeve will be that gun for us. I find it comforting it's there and still doing its job for you. That means with will power it will work for me too. How was bring at the restaurant? All the smells and sites I'm scared of that right now. pizza commercials are killers being in person. Tears.


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[shots95 16]

There are always challenges. Two weeks after my surgery, a big group of my family came to visit us. We live by the shore in New Jersey. There is a famous pizza house on the boardwalk in Ocean City. My kids love to go there. They all knew that I couldn't have the pizza. But I went along with them. I nibbled on some cheese and sauce and left the crust. It worked out but there are always these challenges. On Easter Sunday was the birthday of one of my other children. We met her and her fiance at a restaurant that normally has a very big menu with early birds and everything. However we didn't realize that on Easter Sunday, there is a special menu. They had Soup on the menu which is my go to meal but the waiter told us that I could not just order soup. You must have an entrée also. So we worked around my soup and got some prawns which I shared with the family. Came to $30 for a bowl of soup and some prawns but those are the challenges. My mouth still waters when I smell a good steak broiling in the back in the kitchen of a restaurant. I was always a steak and potatoes man and I still enjoy the smell. My kids say that eventually I could have a filet mignon but no more 24 ounce cowboy ribeye. That gun to your head will always be there to protect you. Try going to a decent restaurant at times to challenge yourself. Just plan your meal ahead of time.

Edited April 24, 2017 by shots95

[hermione53 157]

Your experience of homelessness and real starvation adds an extra layer of complexity to the struggle. I am so sorry you experienced that. I would consider those months traumatizing. Do you see a therapist? I'm in a trauma group for different reasons and it's good to have the support. Be kind to and patient with yourself. You deserve it.

[mycree 14]

Your experience of homelessness and real starvation adds an extra layer of complexity to the struggle. I am so sorry you experienced that. I would consider those months traumatizing. Do you see a therapist? I'm in a trauma group for different reasons and it's good to have the support. Be kind to and patient with yourself. You deserve it.

Yes I have a therapist for my Ptsd. She's trauma specialist and helping me around my will power and strength. She's a good send right now. Some times you just need to know you have someone in your corner no matter what. Even if your paying them to be there therapy really helps.


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[hermione53 157]

That's great. I'm glad you're getting good support! I hope you've had a good week 🤞

[JKC2016 82]

There are actual Overeaters Anonymous meetings that are a fabulous resource. I went to OA for quite awhile and found it a wonderful support. My unhealthy food patterns seem to come from a sense of need, emptiness, wanting to feed my emotional self. I am finding it much easier to cope with food since my sleeve, but when I'm stressed I still think of and want food. Now I work to look past that to the real need. Not always succeeding, but definitely improving! Thank you for the topic.