Has Anyone Kept Their Surgery A Secret?

[Soni572 2]

On 4/16/2017 at 1:26 PM, Dtrain84 said:

I've been obese for about half of my life and I have an extensive medical history. I had my surgery April 11th and I decided before the surgery not to tell anyone. Only my wife knows and she is aware of my wishes to keep my surgery secret. Right now I am trying to figure out how to respond when my family members inquire about my rapid weight loss? Has anybody kept surgery a secret and how is it working out so far?

I have only told a very few, very close people. I don't feel if it is anyone's business. I told people I had to get a procedure on my stomach that I had been putting off. I was working hard to lose before deciding on surgery and my husband recently lost 110lbs, walking. I said this to say, I don't think I will get too many questions about the weight loss.

[Val Rennee 18]

@Keysha

That's awful and I'm so sorry that happened to you. Some people still don't know but those that do are mostly supportive. One person said I was doing it because I didn't like myself so I did get vocal because it upset a younger female that really wants the procedure but wanted to know the inside on preparing and outcomes, so I'm going to share.

People are judgemental but I don't care and I will pray for anyone taking this on.

[Middus 491]

I rarely get asked any questions. People just assume that I cut back on food.< br /> I no longer have Breakfast or a 'proper' lunch at work.
I've been posting work outs stats, pics from soccer games since 2015, so my activity levels have never been called into question. Only 3 friends and 2 family members know.
That's good enough for me.

Edited July 7, 2017 by Middus

[MTL 54]

Since I had my hiatal hernia repair at the same time that I had my sleeve surgery, I told just a few people that I had the sleeve surgery. I figure it's my own business pretty much: except here, where I feel completely safe to share & learn from everyone on their journeys.

[KDBgo4happy 5]

I have been private about my surgery too. My husband was the only one to know for most of the pre-op process. Eventually I told a few friends who are in the same boat as me. I didn't tell my 2 best friends until after surgery, and I think they were hurt that I didn't share with them sooner.

[MarBella 3]

This is a personal decision. However, I did let people know for two reasons. First, one woman who had been successful with her surgery was so forthcoming with information, she continues to be very supportive afterward too. I do go to a monthly support group at St. Vincent's Hospital in Bridgeport, but find her to be a great help. I hope I can do the same for other people who may consider this type of weigh loss. I am 5' 1" and weighed 204 lbs. I had the surgery done on November 2016. So far, I have lost 41 pounds. The second reason is because I am hoping this is the weight program that will work. I have been on so many diets all my life and this time, I know it is a life change. People that know how hard this has been for me do not try to sabotage my attempt to eat small portions and avoid carbs. My grocery shopping has changed, menu planning has changed. I feel like I have been given another chance to a healthier life.

[Sanric0607 5]

I haven't told anyone but my immediate family. I'm 1 year 11 months. Post op. And since I'm physically unable to do normal exercises due to nOH. My weightloss was more subtle. 4 lbs from my goal weight. Then maybe another 10 lbs and I'm set!! G.O.A.L.S. 💯👍🙏

[jessgnc 167]

I replied to this thread already but I wanted to come in and update my answer. Before the surgery, only a few people knew. The person covering for me at work, my husband and my super close friends. I didn't even tell my parents.

I had no intention of telling anyone else. This was for me and if anyone asked, I'd say I finally found something that worked.

A week or so post-op, I had changed my mind. If anyone asked me I would tell them the truth, though I wouldn't volunteer it.

Today is my 2-month surgiversary and I am just giving this information to anyone. Random waiter? "I had surgery, can I see the kid's menu please?" Coworkers asking if I'm okay from my medical leave? "I am! I had bariatric surgery!" My in laws and parents know. Random strangers know. I never thought I'd be the person to be like this. Weight has always been such a sensitive topic for me. Yet for some reason, I want people to know and I'm thrilled to share.

[MTL 54]

I'm making wrong food choices 2 mos post-op! I've lost over 30 lbs, but started "sneaking" food rather than just following my 60 gm Protein Shakes & 30 gm from food. I have cravings, which I thought were going to vanish. Anyone else dealing w this issue? Or how about giving me some advice that has helped you? I don't volunteer that I've had my surgery to many people, since I'm super private, but I've shared w people who know I had major medical issues & now don't have to take the Rx's since the diabetes, high blood pressure & high cholesterol are in my past post-op. Thank you all.

[AZBlackhawk 122]

I haven't told anyone at work, although they oknew I was having surgery. Most people didn't even ask what type of surgery. A few people did and I just said I've had a few surgeries before and this is just another one.

When a gal at work told me I look great and asked me how much I've lost, I told her the total I've lost since April, which is pre op weight loss too!

My in laws know because my mother in less came to help after surgery, so that whole side of family knows bc she is a talker. Other than my husband and a few friends, it's just me.

I would tell people if it came up or if someone struggling asked me. But not otherwise right now.

[bunnyboop 41]

5 hours ago, MTL said:

I'm making wrong food choices 2 mos post-op! I've lost over 30 lbs, but started "sneaking" food rather than just following my 60 gm Protein Shakes & 30 gm from food. I have cravings, which I thought were going to vanish. Anyone else dealing w this issue? Or how about giving me some advice that has helped you? I don't volunteer that I've had my surgery to many people, since I'm super private, but I've shared w people who know I had major medical issues & now don't have to take the Rx's since the diabetes, high blood pressure & high cholesterol are in my past post-op. Thank you all.

I think the problem may be the food you're sneaking. If it has sugar in it, it's going to set you off and make you have cravings. You need to stick to your food plan (protein first, then veggies, then fruit), without straying. If you do this, you most likely won't have cravings. The littlest thing can set us off. I was doing great and then, I got store-bought, ready made tuna fish from the grocery store. I simply didn't feel like making tuna fish. Suddenly, I started feeling hungry and having cravings. Sure enough, I looked at the ingredient list on the tuna fish container and one of the last ingredients is sugar. There's probably not a lot of sugar in the tuna fish, but there's enough in there to set me off. So, I need to put down the store bought tuna fish and I need to get back to basics. For me, having surgery was the last stop at the train station and there are no other choices -- this either works or I end up being unhappy and unhealthy for the rest of my natural life. I'm choosing to live in health. That means fighting like hell to stick with my program, log my food and exercise on My Fitness Pal each and every day, and thank my lucky stars that the surgery exists and I was lucky enough to have it. If need be, attend support group meetings where you had your surgery. Call your nutritionist and tell them what's going on. Reach out like you've done here and get the help and support you need face-to-face and in person. Do whatever you need to do to get back on your program. It's so worth it.

[MTL 54]

Thx. You nailed it for me. Right after I posted, I emailed my surgeon's nutritionist telling her what I was doing & asked for help. I then called for a psychologist referral. Next I shared my same story with 2 other people face to face & on the phone. It's back to basics for me: by drinking 3 shakes daily, I get the Protein needed & don't need to veer off with other food choices that I can't handle presently. I'm also going to my surgeon's 3 different support groups this month where I can get the help I need to start making the right food choices for my nutritional needs. I know, just like you, that my journey is about living a healthy lifestyle & I won't waste my time living otherwise. I fully appreciate your insightful answers.

Sent from my SCH-I545 using BariatricPal mobile app

[bunnyboop 41]

Just checking in to see how you're doing. Everything you were going to put into place sounds right -- have you followed through and done all of it? How are you feeling now?

Bunny

[MTL 54]

Yes Bunny! Thx. I feel much better. Just having you talk w me about it helped me recover a better mindset, but following through w my nutritionist & seeking therapeutic intervention, as well as going to the three support meetings ea month is key to my success.

MT

Edited August 7, 2017 by MTL

[indyamr 3]

This is an interesting discussion. I did not tell anyone at work. Too many people are just curious or gossips (imho, there is a lot of over-sharing in the social media world we live in). They are not part of my support group. They probably know I had WLS or at least suspect it. I did not see how it would benefit me to tell them or tell the world. When asked how I lost weight - I simply answer very restrictive low carb diet, Protein Shakes and exercise. All true. It is very interesting that the 98% of the co-workers that ask are slender people. Therefore, it is not like they are looking for weight loss help. I did have one say " I hope you did not have that crazy surgery like Bob had".

The most hurtful response was from my overweight adult daughter. I got the "you took the easy way out" speech.

Telling people is definitely a personal decision. I don't tell people about my finances, my sex life, all my religious beliefs, etc. I tell people about my weight loss on a 'need to know' basis.

I did not want to be the person in the office that everyone talks to about weight and diet when they see me. I don't want people scrutinizing every thing I eat & judging me.