Spouse Motivation

LatinaLite · April 16, 2017

So I had gastric bypass surgery on 1/23/17, highest weight was 330, surgery weight was 274, and currently at 224. I've lost 50 lbs and 15 inches. I feel great, have tons of energy, and love going to the gym or outdoors with my 3 kids, but my boyfriend, who is over weight as well (around 315lbs.) Just can't seem to keep up with me anymore. He has lost around 20 lbs on his own since last Christmas, which is fantastic, but lately he has been sliding back into old bad habits. He always has an excuse not to go to the gym, he sneaks sweets late at night, won't go out with us, and just generally sits on his butt all day watching YouTube videos...when not at work. We started this weight loss journey together! He didn't want surgery, but me having osteoarthritis at only 34 years old, I needed it. He is approaching 40 this year and even though he doesn't have serious health problems now, I'm afraid that if he doesn't start to change and get active, he will soon. What attracted us to each other was out sense of adventure and loving the outdoors...now Im lucky if I get him to go on the back porch. I'm so frustrated! Any suggestions on what may be the problem or how to get him motivated once again?

blondie66 · April 16, 2017

It's much easier to stick to the weight loss journey after our surgeries. He hasn't had the surgery and finds it hard to stick to a weight loss program. Unfortunately he won't lose the weight until he wants and is committed or has surgery himself. The reality is it's his issue not yours. Take it from a 51 year old women! Take care of yourself and if he wants to join he will and if not you will move on. Do not sabotage your life and health for a partner, parent, sibling, friend...anyone.

LatinaLite · April 16, 2017

O won't slow down because of his choices...but it is hard loving forward without my partner. I don't want to see him having the health problems many over weight people have. I want to spend these adventures with him...not simply sharing them with him afterwards.