A lot of criticism on this app

[jfcajr 123]

This is an open forum where we should be able to express our goals, accomplishments, and failures. Berating someone because of what they ate is extremely unhelpful. Instead we should try not to judge. Not one of you is perfect or you wouldn't be here in the first place.

[Navigating the Wilderness 824]

What do you expect? We're all hungry and cranky!

Just kidding, were people really criticizing you or just offering some hard advice? Last post I saw you said you had some Peeps. Aside from atrocious taste in Easter candy , I don't see why anyone would criticize you.

[jfcajr 123]

What do you expect? We're all hungry and cranky!
Just kidding, were people really criticizing you or just offering some hard advice? Last post I saw you said you had some Peeps. Aside from atrocious taste in Easter candy , I don't see why anyone would criticize you.

Lmao! It's like a reformed smoker. They are the worst and think they know it all. I'm doing great with my sleeve. Surgeon and nut are very pleased. Of course they were much more understanding about the peeps than some peeps on this app. Haha

[Middus 491]

5 minutes ago, jfcajr said:

This is an open forum where we should be able to express our goals, accomplishments, and failures. Berating someone because of what they ate is extremely unhelpful. Instead we should try not to judge. Not one of you is perfect or you wouldn't be here in the first place.

You will just have to learn to ignore.

Many people harbor no ill will. A few just don't know how to talk to other people.

A smaller few can be overbearing, but that's how life is anyway.

[Navigating the Wilderness 824]

2 minutes ago, jfcajr said:

I'm doing great with my sleeve. Surgeon and nut are very pleased.

Those two, plus you are the only ones that truly matter in your journey.

[jfcajr 123]

You will just have to learn to ignore.

Many people harbor no ill will. A few just don't know how to talk to other people.

A smaller few can be overbearing, but that's how life is anyway.

And this is why I don't like people much. Lol

[Middus 491]

[Christina.Rose 287]

Everyone has a PHD in fat here. Some people are just know it all's because they read the handouts the surgeon gave them lol. I regularly roll my eyes and bite my tongue but there are enough positive posts with good or at least interesting information to keep on this site. However, peeps? Ewwwwww!

[violetisle 62]

I don't know, I'm pretty new here but I've hung around all kinds of forums and so far the type of drama (aka people getting on each other's nerves) I've observed here is pretty typical of what you will find wherever you go. A mix of many different personality types coming together around a very personal issue means that some people will rub others the wrong way. Tough talkers that don't cater to others' sensitive feelings, veterans vs. newbies, chronic cheerleaders, people winding up getting banned, people aligning with others against perceived outsiders, you find that stuff everywhere.

[Middus 491]

19 minutes ago, Christina.Rose said:

Everyone has a PHD in fat here. Some people are just know it all's because they read the handouts the surgeon gave them lol. I regularly roll my eyes and bite my tongue but there are enough positive posts with good or at least interesting information to keep on this site. However, peeps? Ewwwwww!

I don't even mind 'know it alls'.. but if one is truly willing to educate another, respect and empathy are important. Push aside all sentiments, judgments, resentments and all the other negative 'ments' and try to understand the person you are educating. Then give advice in a palatable manner. ..but No!! Because they they have all the answers, they must dish out with tough love.

They try to bash the information onto, and into others; Then double down when their advice is rejected. Then they go and throw hissy fits in elsewhere about how newbies 'destined for failure' ganged up to bully them. I'm not saying that bad advisers aren't present or that people aren't bullied by some ignorant others, but if they truly feel a strong urge to help people, then that is not the attitude to have.
We all cannot be the same. I expect some are tough-love advocates. However, tough love is not an excuse for being a jerk or being uncouth. Most of us are here to seek information or to give back. Obesity is just one of the issues some of us had/have.

In my insignificant opinion, losing the weight in itself is a tool (not just the surgery) to help us on a journey of self discovery.
Some people were jerks, but felt people shunned them because they were obese. As the weight comes of, true character will be revealed.

Excuse the rant. I just feel this is a refreshing thread.

[gryffen 176]

In my experience on this forum it's like primary school again - bitchy comments, snarky remarks, people getting abused because of different ideas.

Take this place with a ton of salt - many people have good hearts but a few more have god complex and swallowed Wikipedia.

(And as you know - Wikipedia isn't a trusted source!)

[Middus 491]

8 minutes ago, violetisle said:

I don't know, I'm pretty new here but I've hung around all kinds of forums and so far the type of drama (aka people getting on each other's nerves) I've observed here is pretty typical of what you will find wherever you go. A mix of many different personality types coming together around a very personal issue means that some people will rub others the wrong way. Tough talkers that don't cater to others' sensitive feelings, veterans vs. newbies, chronic cheerleaders, people winding up getting banned, people aligning with others against perceived outsiders, you find that stuff everywhere.

Very very true. I had just joined this forum when there was some hullabaloo about bannings and vets vs mollycoddled newbies and all.. a few people left and took others with them. I almost followed a friend to the other site, till I noticed the same thing happening.

That's just how life on internet fora is i guess.

Edited April 14, 2017 by Middus

[jfcajr 123]

I don't even mind 'know it alls'.. but if one is truly willing to educate another, respect and empathy are important. Push aside all sentiments, judgments, resentments and all the other negative 'ments' and try to understand the person you are educating. Then give advice in a palatable manner. ..but No!! Because they they have all the answers, they must dish out with tough love.

They try to bash the information onto, and into others; Then double down when their advice is rejected. Then they go and throw hissy fits in elsewhere about how newbies 'destined for failure' ganged up to bully them. I'm not saying that bad advisers aren't present or that people aren't bullied by some ignorant others, but if they truly feel a strong urge to help people, then that is not the attitude to have.
We all cannot be the same. I expect some are tough-love advocates. However, tough love is not an excuse for being a jerk or being uncouth. Most of us are here to seek information or to give back. Obesity is just one of the issues some of us had/have.

In my insignificant opinion, losing the weight in itself is a tool (not just the surgery) to help us on a journey of self discovery.
Some people were jerks, but felt people shunned them because they were obese. As the weight comes of, true character will be revealed.

Excuse the rant. I just feel this is a refreshing thread. [emoji3]

Loving your rant. You hit the nail on the head

[BigViffer 3,544]

1 hour ago, jfcajr said:

Surgeon and nut are very pleased. Of course they were much more understanding about the peeps than some peeps on this app. Haha

Well, since I was the only one who offered anything that could be construed as "criticism" on your peep thread, I can assume this thread is about me. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. I honestly only had your best interest in mind. I did not have any subtle jibes at your expense in any of my posts.

For those unfamiliar with the posts:

That being said, I will no longer post on your threads because now I am judging. I do not deem you worthy of my time nor experience. I have a rather respected reputation on this forum for a simple reason. I don't belittle people on this forum, I don't talk down to them, and I don't do passive aggressive conversations about them. I am upfront about what is fact and what is opinion. I clearly state that whether or not they take my advice or not is perfectly fine with me. Many of the vets that were banned were very harsh, I'm more apathetic.

If you have a problem with me, contact @Alex Brecher or any of the other admins. If I am in the wrong, they will no problem telling me so.

[HeatherS. 230]

40 minutes ago, gryffen said:

In my experience on this forum it's like primary school again - bitchy comments, snarky remarks, people getting abused because of different ideas.

Take this place with a ton of salt - many people have good hearts but a few more have god complex and swallowed Wikipedia.

(And as you know - Wikipedia isn't a trusted source!)

In a head to head test, Wikipedia outdid Encyclopedia Britannica. Times are a'changin'.

But I'm firmly in the "oh grow up" contingent when it comes to immature and judgmental people around here. I'm not here for diet advice. That's between me and my Dr.s.

Im here for mutual support and experience sharing. Even if that experience involves peeps.

For what hat it's worth to the OP, my doctor was in full support of me not missing out on my birthday cake 2.5 weeks after surgery.

Its. It going to be a successful lifelong change if we can't have any flexibility.