What's wrong with me?

[Pupmom 14]

I am a 45 year old happily married business owners with 3 kids. I'm not bitter, nor have I ever been sexually abused. And yes I'm FAT (445lbs) to be exact. I had my psychic evaluation and he said I binge eat. Never thought about binge eating. I eat when my family gets together. I eat until I feel that after thanksgiving warmth hits my brain. I never one time thought it was weird or wrong to feel that. Now during my pre-surgery time I am constantly aware of stopping before I feel this feeling. My family Dr. Has urged me to examine the emotional cause of why I eat. Just want the surgery to be as successful as it can be. And I for the love of Jehovah don't want to be one of those people who gain all the weight back.

[mylighthouse 782]

Good for you! You are already on the road to success. It is great that you are now aware of stopping before you get that feeling.

Sounds like you are ready for surgery, which will change your life!

My highest weight was 334. Now at over 4 months post op, I am down to 242 pounds. I can do things that I couldn't do before, such as clip my own toenails, get my socks and shoes on easily and many other things. It feels great!

My only regret is that I didn't do this sooner!

I wish you the best.

p.s. I am 46 and was 45 when I had my surgery.

Edited April 8, 2017 by mylighthouse

[Pupmom 14]

Thank you clipping my toenails and putting on socks without feeling as though I've just tried out for the Olympics is the goal. Actually next summer my family is going to a dude ranch for the 2nd time. This time I'm going to participate ins tree ad of watch

[Sherrie Scharbrough 311]

I don't know why but it seems that everyone thinks we have to have an emotional reason for being fat!! This is exactly why I don't like to go to Counceling. It is because my parnets or I have been molested it has to be for some reason. What if I eat to much because I love food. In my case I have a husband that loves food as did I. I gained my weight from having babies being married and happy. Plus, I had OBESITY in our family line. I was always the heavest one but some of the younger ones are heavy now too. My dear sweet hubby went in to be HYPNOTIZED to lose weight. The very 1st thing they did was starting to blae his MOM!! He also was a Baker in the Navy!! After bootcamp he started gaining weight and continued on until he was 350#'s when we got married. That wasn't his highest weight at all. He got to over 500#'s. Now he has lost down to 333#'s. He had his Lap Band for 13 years and it malfunctioned. It had eroded into his liver. Had a failed RNY surgery. Fast forward to 2016 that is when he had his Sleeve done in June of 2016. But it defintly wasn't just his mom that made him fat!! So sad. Do you think you overeat because your mom did it? I get so mad about the blame they try to put on someone else. Good luck in your journey. Sorry for the rant.

[clc9 644]

Something made him not care enough about himself or his health to not stop at 50, 100, 200, 300++pounds overweight. He ate in spite of knowing it could kill him any day. I think that deserves some exploring. You don't have to blame someone else to gain a better understanding of your own self-destructive behaviors.

[Berry78 4,261]

I never had a psych eval. But depending on what the definition of binge eating is, I probably did it every meal preop. I never was abused either. I liked to feel full.

[1Day1Life4Now 882]

Wanting to eat till your full all of the time could mean that you have a food addiction. I know i do. I just love the taste of carbs.

[BigUtahMan 207]

I have now done surgery twice. First was successful, but I had the band removed and I lived my ultimate fear too and gained all my weight back.

Had you asked me after I lost my weight and kept it off with the band, my comments would mirror your, no real emotional damage, I just like to eat.

But after gaining the weight back, it changed my perspective and mind. I got issues, and unless I discover them I am screwed.
My second surgery was this past November and it too has been successful. But I am much more focused on my relationship with food rather than just the weight loss like I did the first go around.
I don't think you can get to our big sizes and still be able to claim, I don't have issues. While I believe you that you have not yet identified any issue, I think that is your challenge to discover in this process or you are in danger of 1- not losing 2- not keeping it off 3- being miserable because you can't have what you have given yourself in abundance- Food.

My advise is continue down the path and keep your mind as open as possible so you can identify your issues.

[Walter.Sobchak 978]

I have now done surgery twice. First was successful, but I had the band removed and I lived my ultimate fear too and gained all my weight back.

Had you asked me after I lost my weight and kept it off with the band, my comments would mirror your, no real emotional damage, I just like to eat.

But after gaining the weight back, it changed my perspective and mind. I got issues, and unless I discover them I am screwed.
My second surgery was this past November and it too has been successful. But I am much more focused on my relationship with food rather than just the weight loss like I did the first go around.
I don't think you can get to our big sizes and still be able to claim, I don't have issues. While I believe you that you have not yet identified any issue, I think that is your challenge to discover in this process or you are in danger of 1- not losing 2- not keeping it off 3- being miserable because you can't have what you have given yourself in abundance- food.

My advise is continue down the path and keep your mind as open as possible so you can identify your issues.

I agree with this 100%
I have not had my surgery yet, but I know I have issues.
I wouldn't be 425 pounds, if I were a normal eater.
I know I am a food addict, I have accepted it.
My psychologist and I are going to start working on it at my next appointment.

[CocoNina 210]

I don't know why but it seems that everyone thinks we have to have an emotional reason for being fat!! This is exactly why I don't like to go to Counceling. It is because my parnets or I have been molested it has to be for some reason. What if I eat to much because I love food. In my case I have a husband that loves food as did I. I gained my weight from having babies being married and happy. Plus, I had OBESITY in our family line. I was always the heavest one but some of the younger ones are heavy now too. My dear sweet hubby went in to be HYPNOTIZED to lose weight. The very 1st thing they did was starting to blae his MOM!! He also was a Baker in the Navy!! After bootcamp he started gaining weight and continued on until he was 350#'s when we got married. That wasn't his highest weight at all. He got to over 500#'s. Now he has lost down to 333#'s. He had his Lap Band for 13 years and it malfunctioned. It had eroded into his liver. Had a failed RNY surgery. Fast forward to 2016 that is when he had his Sleeve done in June of 2016. But it defintly wasn't just his mom that made him fat!! So sad. Do you think you overeat because your mom did it? I get so mad about the blame they try to put on someone else. Good luck in your journey. Sorry for the rant.

I agree! I started gaining weight when I was happy & comfortable in my relationship. We both love eating & drinking, that's it. I believe what also contributed to my weight gain was I eating the same portions as him. He's taller than me so he didn't gain as much as me, I'm really short. I'm not blaming him but I think sometimes people get fat because they're happy & comfortable. It's not always a tragic reason why we become fat.


Height: 5'0"
Weight for WLS consultation: 216 lbs.
Surgery date: 2/13/17
Goal: -71 lbs for healthy BMI (about 145 lbs).
Current weight: 174.2 lbs
My profile picture is not me. It's my "FITspiration" body.

[Newme17 3,444]

On 4/10/2017 at 0:53 AM, CocoNina said:

I started gaining weight when I was happy & comfortable in my relationship.

Me too. But I gaIned and my hubby has been blessed with a very high metabolism. Had babies. Sure, stress helped at times. Boredom during bedrest, for sure. But I don't have a childhood trauma or anything of the sort. I was a very happy, skinny kid. I just got comfortable around 28 years of age. 😊

Oh, and my psych evaluation went something like this "well, there's nothing to be concerned about with you." Did my questionnaire and she said "your eating is good too, no worries there."

Guess I ate the wrong foods!!!

Edited April 11, 2017 by Newme17

[jrmoseley 101]

I just don't believe it's one size fits all. I don't believe we're all traumatized, I don't believe we are all overweight because we're broken. I do think that being grossly overweight can cause some real emotional problems and that most of us have lost the ability to use food as simply fuel. But when you look at a lot of the medical studies and when you look at recent brain research, it's just evident that there are no simple answers. We each have to figure out what our own barriers are, and what we can do to overcome them.

Sent from my SM-G930V using BariatricPal mobile app

[Deactivatedfatgal 377]

On 4/10/2017 at 1:53 AM, CocoNina said:

I agree! I started gaining weight when I was happy & comfortable in my relationship. We both love eating & drinking, that's it. I believe what also contributed to my weight gain was I eating the same portions as him. He's taller than me so he didn't gain as much as me, I'm really short. I'm not blaming him but I think sometimes people get fat because they're happy & comfortable. It's not always a tragic reason why we become fat.


Height: 5'0"
Weight for WLS consultation: 216 lbs.
Surgery date: 2/13/17
Goal: -71 lbs for healthy BMI (about 145 lbs).
Current weight: 174.2 lbs
My profile picture is not me. It's my "FITspiration" body.

This is absolutely me to a tee! I was 120pds until I met my now husband and we old just eat all the time!

[TBH183 6]

There is only one person I can blame for my being overweight - Me!

Despite whatever happened during my childhood, emotionally, physically or otherwise, for the last 20 years the only person responsible for putting food in my mouth is myself. I've come to terms with this even though it is so very easy to blame someone else for everything. The course I'm now travelling includes an 8 week group session whereby my own personal relationship with food was challenged and discussed which does go back to childhood and the way food is used to motivate and reward but I certainly do NOT blame my mother for the way I am now. I could also blame my partner for the food I've eaten for the last 14 years - but again that's not the point. I could have said something and reduced intake - but I didn't. I wanted to show my gratitude by eating what was placed in front of me. My partner was happy that I'd eaten the food so I was happy that he was happy.

I can pinpoint 3 occasions when I had a ballooning of weight.

1. Made a stupid mistake when I was 15 and blamed my best friend for something that, with hindsight, really was an accident resulting in the loss of said best friend and others. Started using my dinner money to buy junk food and sweets.
2. The death of my Grandfather. This was just after my divorce and I also started shift work so was buying all the wrong stuff and eating at the wrong times of the day. Takeaways and TV dinners are soooo convenient.
3. When I stopped smoking in 2008. My taste buds started working again and I discovered that I liked eating the food I was being given - put on 8 stone (112lbs) over 3 years - but still not smoking.

I managed to do something after the first 2 (even if only temporarily) and now I'm dealing with the 8 stone and more after reaching 25 stone (350lbs).

Each person's relationship with the food they eat is the result of their own journey through life and because each life is different, each person deals with their own demons in their own way - even if they're baked in short crust pastry. One remedy certainly does not fit all and blaming someone else is an easy excuse without having to identify the root causes.

However your journey continues, I wish you all the best.

Dave

[itsmesandy 3]

I was at a restaurant the other day when my ah ha moment came. I told my daughter to get a refill to go her friend said no I had enough. I then realized that I always try to get more for my money. Not to waste. Growing up not having always enough made me always try for the most of what ever it is. Buying less knowing I only need a little and I will be fine is the answer.