COLLEGE students - please help!

[goatsarecool 2]

So I'm currently a freshman in college (19 years old) and in the early steps of the GB program - have a date for my first group meeting, making my consultation soon. Anyway, obviously I do not have my own insurance and will be going through my mother's plan. How did you guys introduce the topic of surgery for the first time and get approval? I'm away at school (a little over an hour) so I'm not home much. I want to finally bring it up to her this weekend. I will also discuss with my dad since he had it 10 yrs ago. I think my mom might be reluctant and judgemental, but we will see when we get there. (he was 400 lbs and 6'. I'm not there yet --- BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE. EVER!)

Also, how is college life post surgery? My room is right next to the gym (where students don't really go) so I plan to use it to my advantage. I also have a full kitchen in my apartment! Very excited. I want to have the surgery the week before I move in (classes will start about 2 weeks post-op if my plans work out). How hard is the adjustment? How does it work having roommates notice your work and not have them catch on that you had surgery? Any other help regarding college? Please share experiences!

ANY and ALL information and advice is truly appreciated! I am scared, nervous, and excited all at the same time.

[Diana_in_Philly 1,426]

Not a college student, but the mom of a college aged child. Your mom will be concerned because all surgery has risks and you are her child and by the very nature of the relationship, she worries about you. So, that being said, she understands what is involved since your dad had the surgery and knows what you will go through.

That being said, you are 19. You don't have to tell her and your docs don't have to talk to her unless you say so because you are an adult.

About your timing plan, please keep in mind that your insurance company may require a monitored weight loss period. That could affect your planning. Also, I would want to have at least a month before staring the class schedule, etc. For the first 4 weeks, depending on your team's plan, you won't be on solid food. You should be moving to purees somewhere around 4 weeks. Also, you have to have a visit back with your surgeon 2-3 weeks after surgery.

That being said, be calm when you speak with mom. Maybe make some notes with your reasons why you feel this is important.

Is your team near home or near school? Maybe have mom come with you to your first meeting and consultation. I had my husband come with me to my meeting when I met my surgeon for the first time. It was good for both of us, because then he understood exactly what would be happening.

Best of luck on your journey.

[goatsarecool 2]

11 minutes ago, Diana_in_Philly said:

Not a college student, but the mom of a college aged child. Your mom will be concerned because all surgery has risks and you are her child and by the very nature of the relationship, she worries about you. So, that being said, she understands what is involved since your dad had the surgery and knows what you will go through.

That being said, you are 19. You don't have to tell her and your docs don't have to talk to her unless you say so because you are an adult.

About your timing plan, please keep in mind that your insurance company may require a monitored weight loss period. That could affect your planning. Also, I would want to have at least a month before staring the class schedule, etc. For the first 4 weeks, depending on your team's plan, you won't be on solid  food. You should be moving to purees somewhere around 4 weeks. Also, you have to have a visit back with your surgeon 2-3 weeks after surgery.

That being said, be calm when you speak with mom. Maybe make some notes with your reasons why you feel this is important.

Is your team near home or near school? Maybe have mom come with you to your first meeting and consultation. I had my husband come with me to my meeting when I met my surgeon for the first time. It was good for both of us, because then he understood exactly what would be happening.

Best of luck on your journey.

Thank you for the help! I'm more concerned about the insurance and costs since she will definitely see that, so I'd rather try to have her on my side from the beginning, like you said. I have a pro and con list made, and my pro side is 2 pages long, while my con side is 4 bullet points The program I'm looking at requires 6 months of a restricted diet with monthly adolescent group sessions. It is possible to have it reduced to 5 months but I'll find out next week when I attend the seminar.

If I don't get it done by mid-August, I really don't have other options because I start nursing school a year from this September, so I will have approximately negative six hours in the week to keep up with what I need to do (LOL).

I also only have classes on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays so I can reserve Wed/Fri for appointments as needed. The program is 15 min from my house and about an hour + from my school.

Again, thank you so much for your input, you made some great points!!

[raveena128 10]

Hi I'm a college student, and I started my journey in October. I'm finally at the end of the insurance requirement, by on Friday I have my final appointment to submit everything to insurance. It's really long and during the six months the clearances take a long time. Even after being approved, I will most likely not schedule my surgery until I'm on summer break. So if you start the process now, after you get approval you are good. You can wait until your next break if it takes longer than august, which may be the winter to do your surgery.

[janini 6]

Hi I will be a college student this starting august. I started my journey in October and I'm on my final steps to set my appointment I'm hoping to have my surgery by July the latest I would hate to have it when I start school so I agree, you should definitely consider scheduling during school break. Good luck to you! It's really nerve wrecking but so exciting at the same time.

[ReginaStevens 0]

Hello. I started my journey when it was a college break, and I had some time to recover. But when college started, it was a little bit hard to me, but everyone was very loyal, so that I managed to combine recovery and education well.

[GabriellaRose 2]

Well, from my experience can say that such a journey as a college student can be complicated but still possible. It all depends on different factors, but in my case for me, it was a little bit hard to focus on the educational process because I was busy with recovery. But I managed to combine it, and with help, it's all possible. I started using different educational resources and services, for example https://edubirdie.com/chemistry-help helped me out a lot with my chemistry task, and I managed to finish everything on time. Of course, my professors were understandable to me; huge thanks for that. And I wish everyone luck, and it all will be fine!

[vsg2410 41]

I commend you for making this decision! One of my doctors first brought up surgery when I was in college. At that point, I knew I wasn’t ready to take my health that seriously. I wanted to have a “normal” college experience. I 100% do not regret waiting until after college to have the surgery since I knew I wasn’t ready. I’m still in my early 20s and it’s a tough life adjustment. My social life lessened a lot early on due to not being able to eat out or drink alcohol. I’d say in terms of college life that would be one of the bigger struggles post op. Also, depending on your dining options at school it can be difficult to track and have good options.

At the beginning about the first 2 months it may be difficult to hide from your roommate that you’ve had surgery. The food options are pretty limited and the quantity is very small. But, a lot of college aged students have not struggled with weight yet and have no idea about bariatric surgery so they may never catch on! Also something to keep in mind, most people at my surgery center are out of work for 2 weeks. I know a lot of people say they feel fine after surgery, but it hit me hard and I needed the full 2 weeks off of work. I’ve heard that younger patients can have more side effects from anesthesia and that was definitely the case for me. So I’d definitely recommend at least 2 weeks before move in day.

In terms of approaching the conversation with my parents, I told my mom that I had something important to talk to her about and I wanted her to support me in my decision. Later after I had gone through the pre surgical processes and had a date, I told my dad I decided to have surgery to improve my health and gave him the opportunity to ask any questions. Best of luck to you!

[goatsarecool 2]

1 hour ago, vsg2410 said:

I commend you for making this decision! One of my doctors first brought up surgery when I was in college. At that point, I knew I wasn’t ready to take my health that seriously. I wanted to have a “normal” college experience. I 100% do not regret waiting until after college to have the surgery since I knew I wasn’t ready. I’m still in my early 20s and it’s a tough life adjustment. My social life lessened a lot early on due to not being able to eat out or drink alcohol. I’d say in terms of college life that would be one of the bigger struggles post op. Also, depending on your dining options at school it can be difficult to track and have good options.

At the beginning about the first 2 months it may be difficult to hide from your roommate that you’ve had surgery. The food options are pretty limited and the quantity is very small. But, a lot of college aged students have not struggled with weight yet and have no idea about bariatric surgery so they may never catch on! Also something to keep in mind, most people at my surgery center are out of work for 2 weeks. I know a lot of people say they feel fine after surgery, but it hit me hard and I needed the full 2 weeks off of work. I’ve heard that younger patients can have more side effects from anesthesia and that was definitely the case for me. So I’d definitely recommend at least 2 weeks before move in day.

In terms of approaching the conversation with my parents, I told my mom that I had something important to talk to her about and I wanted her to support me in my decision. Later after I had gone through the pre surgical processes and had a date, I told my dad I decided to have surgery to improve my health and gave him the opportunity to ask any questions. Best of luck to you!

hey, I'm really happy you replied to this. I was so eager to hop on & give my 2 cents on the topic, since I never get notifs from this site it was kinda a lil reminder. I checked the date on the post & that's when I connected the dots - it was MY post 😭😅 its been so long. I'm 6+ years post op.

I'm trying to make friends with the person who wrote this post. I love her, miss her, and am very happy for her. she's still with me, though she is no longer me. I talk to this world as if I'm talking TO her.

(not in a delusional way that she is alive, but energetically I talk to people as if they were also that size. regardless. this sound super weird but it makes sense to me)

babe, you got sliced on Aug 16, 2017 around 10am. ever since then, life has twisted and turned so much down the rocky road. you'd never believe where you've been, what you've seen, and yet they (I) am sitting in the same bed, in the same position, where you also used to lay.

let's hang out. 💞

(this was a 2me4me / 2HERfromTHEM)

[alpsgirl 2]

I was a college student a long long long long time ago.. you are old enough to do things that don’t concern others and it isn’t there business. If they care in the negative they are not friends and steer clear of them… friends support and want the best for you. Your mom should be Included in the conversation because she is financially and lovingly involved. Include her in your decision. I am sure she wants the best for you too… talk to your dad to soften mom up a bit if you need to I am sure the both of you can tag team her into being supportive if you feel she won’t be… most families are very supportive… my mom knows about mine and she is usually not supportive but she is about this… she is also not paying anything for it except coming to cat sit my babies while I am in the hospital… but our cats love each and they haven’t had a play date In years … we have three Abyssinians… but let your family be there for you and if your college friends are friends they will be supportive as well …