Lurker finally asking questions: Who did you tell?

[HeatherS. 230]

I'm open about the procedure and my reasons for having it when it comes up. My family (parents, wife, in-laws) have the full story, and my friends have as much of the story as they're interested to hear.

My my dad and MiL took some explaining, as neither has been obese or had trouble losing weight, and both have the type of personality that struggles to understand what they haven't experienced. Once they had the information they've both been very supportive. My dad, especially, supports me doing everything necessary to age well and avoid the diabetes and cardiovascular disease that robbed mom of her quality of life by the time she was 50.

I'm always happy to be a resource when I can, so that's my nature with everything.

[dmdakd 44]

I tell everyone, if someone wants to judge me for taking control of my life at 44 then have at it. It also makes me super accountable, if everyone knows then I am more likely to stay on track.

The only people I won't tell are anyone who works in my HR department, when they ask me what I am doing to lose weight I tell them I switched to diet Coke, they refuse to cover any weight loss options so as far as I'm concerned it's none of their business.

[Berry78 4,261]

Dang! All I had to do was switch to diet coke???

😭

[Dr-Patient 830]

If you want to tell only your husband, then stick to that. You don't owe others anything--no info about your personal life decisions. You don't need their (likely uninformed) opininons, judgments, criticisms, discouragements, etc. Granted, some might be positive, but it's none of their business. Own yourself.

Despite current societal trends to tell everyone everything--even when going to the bathroom, or what folks ate for lunch, etc--you don't need to divulge your personal affairs...and you should be okay with that.

I only told 4 people, one of whom helped get me to surgery, then the other person kept me at his house x 3 days afterwards. That's it. Now, IF someone I know is deeply pained about their weight struggle, and they see my now-body, AND if I feel I can trust them to not discuss MY activities with others, I will tell them how I lost weight in order to comfort them if they are considering wls. Otherwise, nope!

Be a careful guardian of your life and personal affairs.

[1Day1Life4Now 882]

I am a very private person so I didn't choose to share with anybody except my husband and daughter and I asked them not to share with anybody. Unfortunately they have overshared with multiple people against my wishes. My husband was against the surgery and I'd been researching it for a number of years. I let him talk me out of it several times. I finally got fed up and decided I was having the surgery, regardless of his feelings. Its been wonderful and just wish I had done it sooner. When people notice you have lost weight they want to ask you questions about how you did it and what you eat etc.... The continuous comments about my weight really bother me because my life is so much more that my weight loss. Anyway, it's always your choice and your business about how you go about your weight loss. Share if you want to but if you dont want to....then keep it your little secret. I just didn't want to be judged or have people make comments if I cheat or if I'm not eating something. Life and weight loss is already difficult enough, I don't need them "weighing in" on my business.

[Dr-Patient 830]

@1Day1Life4Now...What is your hubby saying now? :-)

[Smores 56]

I too had decided not to tell too many people. My BMI is just at 35 and I thought that people would say that I don't need it. But I do have health issues due to my weight. But then I changed my mind and told some of my coworkers. I too work at a school but hopefully will be having the surgery during summer break. I have been going to my pre-sugery appointments and my boss was asking me if I was ok. I then told her what I was doing and she is very supportive about the surgery. I then told a few of the people in my office. I was afraid with all of my doctor appointments that they might think I have cancer or something when I come back thinner.

[TeahTeah 22]

I haven't hidden it from anyone. I went through a very long process being denied by insurance after seeing one doctor so I had to start all over again so people around me knew about it. And of course my friends and family knew and were supportive. I am always happy to talk about it since most people don't have their facts right or they think you are just weak for not going on a diet. (Like I didn't try that my whole life!) People just don't understand unless they've been obese. There's always going to be haters. And honestly I think a lot of people are jealous. I'm almost a month post op and I have a co-worker who is always bringing junk food in the office or offering me bad food choices like she is mad that I am losing weight. I just ignore it and shake my head, politely decline. I did what's best for me and I don't care what others think. But some people think they know everything or have to put their nose in others business. That won't change regardless of the situation.

Edited May 10, 2017 by TeahTeah

[gtmikki 33]

I was sleeved December 2014. To date, I have only told 2 people. I told my sister prior to surgery because I needed to advise someone that I was going to Mexico. Just in the past few months, I told my boyfriend. Both of these people have been very supportive of my weight loss.

I don't feel the need to tell a lot of people because the surgery was just a tool. You have to make that lifestyle change of a healthy diet including plenty of Protein and exercise.