Disgusted

[MBird 298]

I'm going to have surgery in June with the likelihood my date is moved up. I had joined a Facebook bariatric group thinking I'd find support and possibly friends there, but unfortunately left the group due to the outrageous number of posts regarding how soon people could eat pizza, drink alcohol, eat I cream or drink soda pop, etc., etc. then the myriad of unhealthy recipes that were posted was upsetting, even as I scrolled past them. Then, I came here. It's the same difference. The people who have knowledge are vastly outnumbered by the addicts and self indulgent. What's worse is if anybody speaks the truth, which is that the vast majority of people here are seeking a quick fix, don't want to put in the work, are food addicts and compulsive over eaters, and even lazy, then they risk the wrath of people who disagree and want to mess up for their own ignorant and selfish reasons. Stupidly and indulgence win out the day.

I'm always from the school of thought if I know something or have information I ought to impart that to others. Knowledge is power and the truth is always better.

It pisses me off to have to keep my mouth shut so that stupid or misinformed people win out the day spreading their crap all over these forums and ruining it for those of us who actually can use the encouragement and not use this site as a crutch for our self indulging.

I was thinking of leaving.

Then I realized I'm not alone after reading a post on here expressing the same outrage. Plus, I'll stick around for the few people who actually can use the help and viable info, not to mention have real issues with support outside these forums for reasons beyond what is normal, either they have limited net access and funds, or get a doctor that isn't up to par, plus I feel it's my duty to give out the correct information. And yes, there is actually correct information about this stuff. It's really easy to find and a great doctor will give it.

Some of what I read is preposterous. Reading stupid crap such as it's okay to drink soda or pop because the stomach muscle left over from the surgery won't stretch - B.S! NOT TRUE, and if that isn't the worst if it, not acknowledging what sugar and fake sweeteners do to our bodies is the icing on the cake. Nobody is that daft in 2017.

Rather than attack and change the nature of the addictions, people seek any excuse to indulge them. It's tiresome and boring. Have some guts, and stop spreading stupidity to others.

Believe it or not, some of us want to be healthy and actually live longer by correcting the habits that got us here in the first place.

If you don't like it, fine. It's not my job to encourage bad behavior, not for myself or anyone else. Leave a rude comment or not, that's your bit. At the end of the day it's about adding years to our lives and making the best out of a tool that not everybody has an opportunity out to use.

[Delta_35 129]

I understand how you feel. I was just attacked for "bullying". Supposedly I was wrong for voicing my opinion about people who post about when they can eat pizza or eat normal again, when the truth is, if you follow your new way of eating, you will never eat "normal" again. Normal for someone who is obese is not normal eating for anyone after surgery. But supposedly me stating this, which is a fact, was critizing people. Of course we all treat ourselves here and there, but if you are a week post op or asking for guidance, I am going to provide support..whether its what you want to hear or not...we all need tough love at some point. I know, I been there!

I left this forum before for this same reason, and now I see why a lot other Vets left and have not returned. It really is ridiculous, and if you speak any type of "truth", be prepared for someone to attack you.

Edited April 6, 2017 by Delta_35

[CrowMilk 96]

If you want to leave a group because of those questions, that is your decision, but I don't think it's entirely fair to label the people asking those questions as what you described. How do you know they are addicts by asking those questions?

The key to losing weight has always been calories in verses calories out. If someone budgets their day to where they can have a couple spoonfuls of ice cream, who cares?

I eat pizza, ice cream, and fast food and still have lost 70+ lbs, but the key is fitting that in with my calories for the day and not making it a habit. Does this mean I'm lazy and self-indulgent? I don't think so. I've worked my ass off to get to this point so I'll be darned if I'm not going to enjoy a bite of pizza or a scoop of my husband's ice cream.

What really makes me mad are the people out there that are always on their high horses, looking down at the rest of us for eating something they would "have never thought of at that stage". Every person's journey is different, and while I definitely understand that being successful takes dedication and not giving in to every desire, implying that anyone who has ever indulged is lazy and the like is just wrong.

[Wchild22 34]

I agree, we shouldn't attack anyone for the choices the make and to support and lift up our fellow sleevers to be and do better than they did the day before. Now you need to keep in mind not everyone is at the same stage in their journey, they also have different doctors, and different plans, that being said we must be mindful and considerate of one's food choice. Most of us got here not only by eating junk food. Some of us had really healthy diets, but had no Portion Control, had low activity, either do to injury, depression, or as you put it Lazy. I could go on for ever some people on here know they are straight up wrong. We shouldn't encourage that behavior for them, but ask what we can do to help.

[Wchild22 34]

14 minutes ago, Delta_35 said:

I totally know how you feel. I was just attacked for "bullying". Supposedly I was wrong for voicing my opinion about people who post about when they can eat pizza or eat normal again, when the truth is, if you follow your new way of eating, you will never eat "normal" again. Normal for someone who is obese is not normal eating for anyone after surgery. But supposedly me stating this, which is a fact, was critizing people. I left this forum before for this same reason, and now I see why a lot other Vets left and have not returned. It really is ridiculous, and if you speak any type of "truth", be prepared for someone to attack you.

It's all about food portions now, controlling how much we eat and what. A calorie is a calorie you choice if you want a healthy 100 calorie snack or an unhealthy snack. I just totally forgot where I was going with this. Ah well!

[CrowMilk 96]

While completely cutting out foods might work for you and others, it's not a one stop fix. For myself, as well as others, I don't have an issue with a particular food; it's always been about eating too much in general.

So, I feel okay in eating some foods that others would say "no way!" to, it doesn't mean I'm not going to be successful in losing weight, just that I'm on a different road than you are.

[Delta_35 129]

Just now, Wchild22 said:

It's all about food portions now, controlling how much we eat and what. A calorie is a calorie you choice if you want a healthy 100 calorie snack or an unhealthy snack. I just totally forgot where I was going with this. Ah well!

I totally agree, when you are maintenance it is definitely important. But when you are a few weeks out, I think it is critical to follow your surgeon directions and eat the strict list of foods recommended.

[Wchild22 34]

Yes true

[Delta_35 129]

2 minutes ago, CrowMilk said:

While completely cutting out foods might work for you and others, it's not a one stop fix. For myself, as well as others, I don't have an issue with a particular food; it's always been about eating too much in general.

So, I feel okay in eating some foods that others would say "no way!" to, it doesn't mean I'm not going to be successful in losing weight, just that I'm on a different road than you are.

I am not sure who this is directed towards, but I don't cut out ANYTHING. I eat what I want, within reason. So I am assuming this must be for the author of the post.

[CrowMilk 96]

I am not sure who this is directed towards, but I don't cut out ANYTHING. I eat what I want, within reason. So I am assuming this must be for the author of the post.

Yes, for the author!

[MBird 298]

If you want to leave a group because of those questions, that is your decision, but I don't think it's entirely fair to label the people asking those questions as what you described. How do you know they are addicts by asking those questions?The key to losing weight has always been calories in verses calories out. If someone budgets their day to where they can have a couple spoonfuls of ice cream, who cares?

I eat pizza, ice cream, and fast food and still have lost 70+ lbs, but the key is fitting that in with my calories for the day and not making it a habit. Does this mean I'm lazy and self-indulgent? I don't think so. I've worked my ass off to get to this point so I'll be darned if I'm not going to enjoy a bite of pizza or a scoop of my husband's ice cream.

What really makes me mad are the people out there that are always on their high horses, looking down at the rest of us for eating something they would "have never thought of at that stage". Every person's journey is different, and while I definitely understand that being successful takes dedication and not giving in to every desire, implying that anyone who has ever indulged is lazy and the like is just wrong.

You took offense and made this post about you. How unfortunate. If that's the truth, then you wouldn't feel so crummy about someone voicing there isn't enough healthy advice on this forum. It's not about how much we can screw up to stay on course, it's about beating bad habits that got us fat to begin with and may potentially get us fat again.

[CrowMilk 96]

I totally agree, when you are maintenance it is definitely important. But when you are a few weeks out, I think it is critical to follow your surgeon directions and eat the strict list of foods recommended.

I agree. If you're early out, and those foods are not in your nutrition guidelines then they should not be eating them, but on the same side I don't think there is any harm in asking "how soon" one can eat a certain food.< /p>

[MBird 298]

I agree. If you're early out, and those foods are not in your nutrition guidelines then they should not be eating them, but on the same side I don't think there is any harm in asking "how soon" one can eat a certain food.

Exactly, there are so many posts about people wanting to eat unhealthy foods as little as three weeks post op. It's ridiculous.

[AmandaTherese 40]

Wait... question and this is a question I've posed for myself... why would you go to extremes of getting this gift... this wonderful tool to keep eating the same things that got you to needing surgery in the first place? It scares me that I might. To make that conscious decision to eat those awful foods even in moderation... and make the same mistakes I make now. It doesn't make sense to eat those nasty foods regardless of you're loosing weight. It's the health part you should be focusing on. You're better than fast food even if it's once in a while. You're better than ice cream and candy. I wish you well and much success! Xo

[MBird 298]

How do I know they are addicts?

Jump around and read other posts by the people posting questions, I'm not the only one who notices that some people will post several times about things they want to eat, that are unhealthy, or that they complain again and again how they want to eat this or that food that's bad for them.

Just because someone is eating junk food and fat food - and still losing doesn't make them healthy or successful.

Far from it.

Not all thin people are healthy. Eventually making poor choices in food catches up to a person and takes it toll, no matter how big or small they are.