HELP! Self-Esteem Issues

[NurseNelms 0]

Hello to everyone!

I have been a lurker for quite some time (sleeved 7/7/16). You guys have been incredibly helpful! So thank you for that.

I have lost 95 pounds and I know I should be so proud of that. However....when I look at myself I only see the problem areas that I still have to go and the loose skin. I thought when I lost all this weight that my self-esteem would skyrocket. It hasn't....I still feel like the same overweight person I was before.

Have any of you experienced this and did anything help to pull you out of it?

Thank you so much!

[ryan_86 335]

I still feel chubby, and while no one else may notice the muffin top, I do.

I think partly it takes time. For so long, we've seen our bodies and our selves as the same thing, and our bodies change faster than our conception of self.

I don't have advice, except to be charitable and patient with yourself. Do things or wear things you never would have before. Force yourself out of your comfort zone.

If you haven't yet, consider a support group or professional counseling.

[CocoNina 210]

I've had self-esteem issues before surgery. Even though I'm losing weight & feel great, when I look in the mirror, I still see that fat girl. My only advice (& I tell myself this too) is to look at before & after pictures & buy an outfit I've always wanted to wear but couldn't before surgery.

We've come a long way. Now, it's about learning to love ourselves & give ourselves credit for how far we've come.


Height: 5'0"
Weight for WLS consultation: 216 lbs.
Surgery date: 2/13/17
Goal: -71 lbs for healthy BMI (about 145 lbs).
Current weight: 174.2 lbs
My profile picture is not me. It's my "FITspiration" body.

[Seraya 46]

When I lost 160 lbs on a liquid diet I was in the same boat. I finally felt comfortable with dating, etc. and was happy with how I looked...in clothes. I felt like it was false advertising and what you saw was not whet you got. It was hard but when I found someone who was special I told him about how I had lost a lot of weight and he never had a bad thing to say about my body. I still felt self conscious and want to have skin removal but that scared me. I'd recommend talking to a therapist. That's what I plan to do this time around. Good luck and congrats on your hard work.

[chuswysly 122]

We are so hard on ourselves........we say things to ourselves we would never say to another living human being. If you had a friend who was on this journey you would be encouraging, supportive and loving with your comments. You'd tell them how amazing they look and how hard they've worked and how proud you are of their progress, you'd be their biggest cheerleader. You'd hug them and ask them to let you know if they need anything.......you'd go out of your way to make sure they feel good about themselves. If this was your sister or brother or friend or even an acquaintance you would be the first person in line to congratulate them. Give yourself credit and love yourself enough to practice kind self talk........treat yourself like you would if you were "your own friend".

Dont let the media (movies, magazines, television shows) determine your self worth. Remember they are photoshopped and cut and pasted and would not look the same if you saw them in person. The most attractive thing about a person is their smile and their attitude.......and I think you ROCK!!!!