Hubby says " you aren't the one that has to be attracted to you" ..., WHAT?

[PatientEleventyBillion 851]

21 minutes ago, Dknal2 said:

My hubby will not do counseling. I have begged and cried about it and just plain pleaded with him. To no avail though. I think I'm just trying to hold on so as not to feel like I failed at this . I don't know.

It's actually interesting because I was warned by the Weight Management program that surgery has resulted for many in soured relationships, and they did an interview of me without my wife (she was not only extremely supportive of my program and surgery being done this month but attended numerous appointments and classes with me to see what she can help with since she likes cooking for me) to ensure there was no spousal abuse or anything else going on (as a general precaution). She took it in stride but I'd be irritated as hell about that.

So it's only fair I support her in her efforts to lose weight. While she's apparently not fat enough for the WM program here, she's 5'3 206 (120 before having our daughter) with PCOS, and rest assured I'll be with her every step of the way cheering her on the same as she was for me. It's the least I can do.

I think getting back in shape may raise some people's expectations and standards, having them realize that such a relationship is cumbersome or lonely. Misery loves company.

[HB76356 122]

You look AMAZING girl ! , dont let men get to you.
Me and my mother are both getting the gastric sleeve , im getting mine first them she will be getting hers.Our situation is quite similar, you see i have a step father who honestly doesn't care about anyone else's feelings except his. About a week ago he had told my mom he does not want to hear about the surgery because he don't think we can do it , because we've been big forever.Im 19 my moms 39 Im so excited to go through this process with my mother who is also my best friend. Im here if you need anyone to talk to love [emoji4]
Add me on FB if you ever need someone- Kimmy spidle

Good for you. People like that need you to fail, because they have their self worth wrapped up in thinking they're better than you.

I had someone recently tell me that they wouldn't get the surgery because they were strong enough to do it themselves. I just asked, when they were going to quit smoking and get started? [emoji12] [emoji6]

[HB76356 122]

I just got out of a relationship earlier this year. The surgery was a factor I believe. She would always bring up how many people fail and was generally not supportive. As I got closer and was hitting goals it got worse. Not being married, I just decided to get out. Too much to look forward to. Not looking at you. I'm looking past you...

[Dknal2 1,066]

54 minutes ago, PatientEleventyBillion said:

It's actually interesting because I was warned by the Weight Management program that surgery has resulted for many in soured relationships, and they did an interview of me without my wife (she was not only extremely supportive of my program and surgery being done this month but attended numerous appointments and classes with me to see what she can help with since she likes cooking for me) to ensure there was no spousal abuse or anything else going on (as a general precaution). She took it in stride but I'd be irritated as hell about that.

So it's only fair I support her in her efforts to lose weight. While she's apparently not fat enough for the WM program here, she's 5'3 206 (120 before having our daughter) with PCOS, and rest assured I'll be with her every step of the way cheering her on the same as she was for me. It's the least I can do.

I think getting back in shape may raise some people's expectations and standards, having them realize that such a relationship is cumbersome or lonely. Misery loves company.

You are a wonderful mate. Your partner is lucky. Support is everything and it means the world to the person needing it.

[Dknal2 1,066]

16 minutes ago, HB76356 said:

Good for you. People like that need you to fail, because they have their self worth wrapped up in thinking they're better than you.

I had someone recently tell me that they wouldn't get the surgery because they were strong enough to do it themselves. I just asked, when they were going to quit smoking and get started?

That was a good one. I am totally honest with people about my surgery and unfortunately misery loves company. But I am being strong n pressing my way through this. Stay safe and KIT

[Dknal2 1,066]

20 minutes ago, HB76356 said:

I just got out of a relationship earlier this year. The surgery was a factor I believe. She would always bring up how many people fail and was generally not supportive. As I got closer and was hitting goals it got worse. Not being married, I just decided to get out. Too much to look forward to. Not looking at you. I'm looking past you...

My husband just always ask me if I regret it n I say no I don't regret having the surgery. He then gives 2 million reasons y I shud regret it but I still tell him I'm happy I had it. I know he is probably trying to break me but I'm not letting that happen. I want to be happy with my life and if it means not being with him any longer then that's what it will be at some point.

[LadyFurball 18]

Dknal2, I just want to reach all the way to Alabama and hug you. You are strong and gorgeous and healthy (and such an inspiration!), and you so clearly have heart. I was in a controlling marriage for a long time, and that game about not being willing to go to counseling and then telling you that you should go because you're the "crazy" one?? Oh wow, that brought back some feels...

You've got such a good outlook and sense of what's going on, and it's so good to see a person stay true to herself. I care and I'm here if you need someone to lean on. I hope one day soon he will see that you are the one who has to love the way you feel, and that he is so lucky to call you his wife.

Big huge hug ((((([emoji173])))))

[blev 58]

Sis - enjoy you and your life [emoji173]️

[lornasaurusleeve 91]

You look great. Kill him in his sleep. (Not really but yeah he's being a ******.)

[lornasaurusleeve 91]

You look great. Kill him in his sleep. (Not really but yeah he's being a ******.)

doooooooo uc he

[carlychloe2 106]

I feel that way too but I think it's also a power thing. He wants me miserable and just not happy so he can reign over me mentally and I'm not having that. If I have to be alone , so be it.

Good, dont let him manipulate you. Thats whats hes trying to do. Remember, misery loves company. Hes not happy with himself or your new self!!

[Dknal2 1,066]

16 hours ago, LadyFurball said:

Dknal2, I just want to reach all the way to Alabama and hug you. You are strong and gorgeous and healthy (and such an inspiration!), and you so clearly have heart. I was in a controlling marriage for a long time, and that game about not being willing to go to counseling and then telling you that you should go because you're the "crazy" one?? Oh wow, that brought back some feels...

You've got such a good outlook and sense of what's going on, and it's so good to see a person stay true to herself. I care and I'm here if you need someone to lean on. I hope one day soon he will see that you are the one who has to love the way you feel, and that he is so lucky to call you his wife.

Big huge hug ((((()))))

Omg ... I receive that hug and thanks so much.

[Dknal2 1,066]

15 hours ago, blev said:

Sis - enjoy you and your life ️

Thank you so much... I'm trying to enjoy it believe me and I will probably sooner than later enjoy it a little more.

[Dknal2 1,066]

17 hours ago, HB76356 said:

I just got out of a relationship earlier this year. The surgery was a factor I believe. She would always bring up how many people fail and was generally not supportive. As I got closer and was hitting goals it got worse. Not being married, I just decided to get out. Too much to look forward to. Not looking at you. I'm looking past you...

I agree... loooking past the bull crap to get to my destiny... I'm tired of living being unhappy.

[Deactivatedfatgal 377]

Yes happiness is most important thing.