To diet or to do WLS

[ebe44 1]

How did you decided to do WLS over diet. My parents want me to low carb it instead of WLS. I want WLS because I feel that I not cheat because my stomach will be restricted. Does that make sense? I need help in my decision. But, I also want my parents support.

[EmmyJ 184]

I chose to have surgery because I did all of these diets, low carb included, and it wasn't enough. When I had this surgery, I still had to change my whole way of eating, but now I also have the tool of the restriction to kickstart my body into actually shedding the pounds. Now, when I follow a plan, the weight actually comes off. WLS isn't a shortcut that works independently of diet; it's a catalyst to make the lifestyle change effective.

[RickM 1,747]

Neither dieting nor surgery works well if you are doing it because someone else is pushing you into it - it takes a personal commitment that this is what you need to succeed in life. Overall, for those of us heavy enough to be considering WLS, dieting has about a 5% success rate long term, and it doesn't matter what style of dieting is done. Low carb is the popular diet these days but is no better than the low fat diets it supplanted. After all, doing what's popular is what got most of us fat in the first place.

This is a good video that presents some of the factors that can push a decision towards WLS or trying dieting again. He also has some other presentations on how the WLS works metabolically that makes it more successful than just simple dieting (something you may want to share with your parents to help them understand and gain their support), and some on things to expect from WLS and how to use it to best advantage. I don't agree with everything this doc presents, but over the years of working at this, I am closer to his perspective than the average or common WLS process.

We often see people coming into these forums after giving dieting "one last try", and we often have to do some kind of diet/exercise program for insurance approval; which often does work to the degree that surgery comes along before any regain can occur. The way I approached it when my wife and I started getting serious about WLS some fourteen years ago was to look long term and work to adjust my living patterns toward what was needed for long term healthy living rather than jsut simple weight loss - I would take whatever loss that I could accomplish, and if I could be one of those lucky 5%, so much the better, but I was more focused on the lifestyle changes. I went with a very strict "no fad diet" regimen - no low carb, low fat, Keto, Atkins, South Beach, Pritikin or any other "book" diet. Rather I minimized the junk foods and processed/packaged foods while moving towards more fruits and veg, whole grains in place of the refined and processed white grains, all to the extent that I could do sustainably. It wasn't perfect by anybody's book (and still isn't), but it was what I could do long term. It was a somewhat evolutionary process as I sneaked more veg into things that I ate I lost about 50lb over six months or so, which was about 1/3 of what I needed to do, At the time, we were still working to get my wife on the table through serial insurance denials, so I just went into a sustaining mode - working to lose more if I could and continuing to push the diet in the right direction. I never really lost more but I did maintain that loss for several years until insurance started covering the sleeve which seemed a better fit for my needs. The discipline that I established early certainly helped going through the surgery and weight loss process, and most particularly into the maintenance world - many who adopt some of the more extreme or radical diets in conjunction with their WLS struggle with regain or yoyo dieting later on in maintenance as they never established the dietary habits needed to sustain their loss in the long term.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

I low carbed for a long time. I had great health benefits from it but because of lack of Portion Control I never had the huge loses.

There is a lot of things that WLS does to your body besides provide restriction and smaller portions, there is a lot of science to it.

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/13/well/why-weight-loss-surgery-works-when-diets-dont.html

Honestly I feel like if you have to question your decision and need other people support you are not ready for surgery. You have to be all in, 100 percent committed to this and think it is your only and best option or you will be miserable, tempted and full of regret like 80% of the people that post here.

Edited April 2, 2017 by OutsideMatchInside

[norcaligirl 4]

I am glad someone posted this. I have been up and down my whole life but due to endocrine issues I adopted a more strict diet which consists of mostly veggies, ground turkey and fruit. I sometimes eat rice and don't eat much fat except a tablespoon of heavy cream in my coffee and food prepared in a little olive oil and mozzarella sticks. I have logged on and off the last couple years and I average between 1500 to 2000 calories. Once a week I eat a small brownie at work or a small bag of chips (200 calories). I am honest with myself. Maybe once a month I eat two or three slices of pizza (a birthday party) or eat one of my deserts that's all dairy and sugar but these are not regular occurrences and I own it. For my full time job I walk a MINIMUM of 10,000 steps but more in the 13,000 to 15,000 range. I am 225 lbs and almost 5'7''. I have only been thin with literally starving myself. Honestly I loved being thin. I am dumbfounded and not sure where to turn either.

[Sherrie Scharbrough 311]

Like was said above you need to be 100% sure this is what you want. It will help you lose the weight but let me tell you the MAINTANCE is the hardest. Mentally you will have so MUCH to figure out on your journey. It will not be easy!! For myself I had tried every diet known to mankind practically. I could loose some of my weight but lost my motivation some where along the way. I got really sick with my Fibromylgia had to leave a job that I had worked at for 10 years!! I hated what my body did to me. I lost so much of my joy because I was sick all the time. At that time I did lose 135#'s. But it didn't take me to long to gain it all back plus. THAT was a push toward my WLS. I had contacted a Surgeon in Eugene, Oregon. He wanted to do the Lap Band on me. I refused because my hubby had his Band for 13years of course he lost 100#'s but never got to his goal weight. So I just figured I would be heavy for the rest of my life!! Fast forward, hubby's Band had to be removed. While he was in his Dr's office the nurse and I were chatting and I mentioned that I only wish I could have WLS. When she asked me why I coudn't I told her of the other DR. Of course I made a appointment and I was ready to have my RNY even before my hubby's and removal of his Band. The rest is history. I lost 132#'s in 6 months but I did have a 8# gain. But I have maintained my 125#'s for 3 years now. But it is totally a fight to keep my mind from making me think that I can't keep doing this!! I swear my biggest fear is being a statistic and gaining my weight back. I even have nightmares that I have to weigh in front of my family and I had gained everything back plus. I still see the heavy Sherrie. Some days I feel so FAT and then some days I am ok. Total MIND STUFF!! Good luck in whichever you decide to do!!

[Mandybb 183]

Can I be honest? I said the same thing before my surgery, that I needed the restriction to lose weight so that's why I was getting surgery. Honestly my restriction is there, but you can cheat the system after surgery. Carbs do not fill up your tummy like Protein and you can slowly munch and graze every hour on high carb high fat food if you wanted. Some people don't have much restriction at all so be prepared that it might happen that way. You have to resist those foods and change your eating habits before surgery. That's why the preop diet comes in handy because it is a real reality of what your life will be like over the next few months. Why not just try low carb/sugar free (that's essentially the diet you will be on after surgery) while waiting for the surgery? See what it's like and make sure you are committed to this lifestyle change because temptation is unbelievable and you can slide so easy back into old habits without even realizing you've done it.

That being said, this was the best decision I've ever made even with the complications. I knew that I needed to save my life, and without this surgery giving me the kick in the butt to get it done, I would still be 255 lbs and hating my life.

[Diana_in_Philly 1,426]

Not being snarky, but - how's that diet thing worked for you in the past? I think if we could lose it and keep it off by dieting, none of us would have had surgery. I understand your parents' concern - they are scared because it is surgery and sometimes bad things happen during surgery.

That being said - make a list for them -as best you can recall - of all the diets you've been on, how much you've lost and how much you've kept off. Have you been to an info session with a surgical team? If not, bring a parent with you to it, if you feel it would help. My husband was concerned at first, too. Then I brought him with me to my meeting with my surgeon and to some support group meetings.

FYI - I weigh right now what I weighed when I got married 20 years ago. I'm in better physical shape right now and my wedding gown is big on me.

But, more than anything else, as was said above, you need to have your head in the game. If you don't want to make the change and the commitment, then surgery isn't going to work. Also, most insurances require a monitored diet for a few months prior to surgery - so your parents can also see how much you lose (or not) when on a medically supervised diet as you move toward surgery.

[ebe44 1]

Not being snarky, but - how's that diet thing worked for you in the past? I think if we could lose it and keep it off by dieting, none of us would have had surgery. I understand your parents' concern - they are scared because it is surgery and sometimes bad things happen during surgery.
That being said - make a list for them -as best you can recall - of all the diets you've been on, how much you've lost and how much you've kept off. Have you been to an info session with a surgical team? If not, bring a parent with you to it, if you feel it would help. My husband was concerned at first, too. Then I brought him with me to my meeting with my surgeon and to some support group meetings.
FYI - I weigh right now what I weighed when I got married 20 years ago. I'm in better physical shape right now and my wedding gown is big on me.
But, more than anything else, as was said above, you need to have your head in the game. If you don't want to make the change and the commitment, then surgery isn't going to work. Also, most insurances require a monitored diet for a few months prior to surgery - so your parents can also see how much you lose (or not) when on a medically supervised diet as you move toward surgery.

Oh no, you are not snarky at all. I think my parents are worried that I'll die in surgery. I wish I could bring them to an info session but they live in Texas and I'm in Virginia. I will send the video another person posted on here. Tomorrow I have a webinar with VA Bariatric Center. I'm excited to take it!!!

[teacupnosaucer 445]

Also, if you are getting surgery because it will help you "not cheat", I have bad news for you... people cheat post-surgery all the time. There are people a week out from their operation sneaking french fries and people two years out drinking 1000 calorie milkshakes and other "slider foods" and struggling with serious regain.

Surgery helps reset your body's "set point" so that your body doesn't fight AS hard to regain weight, and helps to limit your portions TO A CERTAIN EXTENT but what you put into your body is still up to you. It's not something you do instead of diet and exercise, it's something you do WITH diet and exercise to make them actually work long term.

That doesn't mean you can never ever ever treat yourself ever again, but it does mean that you will always be responsible for your eating habits, as much as anyone else. So many people think "I'll have surgery and never eat Cookies again or even want to LOOK at cookies!" but that just isn't the case.

Not trying to discourage you AT ALL, since it is still a proven fact that WLS works better for more people than any diet we've yet dreamed up but you need to go into it prepared to truly change your entire life. The surgery doesn't make you open up myfitnesspal six times a day to enter your food. The surgery doesn't make you go to Zumba classes or the swimming pool or join a walking club. The surgery doesn't make you pick a glass of Water over a glass of sweet tea. That's all you!

What the surgery DOES is that after making all those healthy choices, your body doesn't do everything in its power to make you fat again by conserving every calorie you eat and slowing your metabolism to a crawl.

Do all the reading you can, enjoy your info session, and good luck! It took me about a year to really make my mind up that surgery was what I truly wanted. DON'T jump into it if you're not sure... but once you're sure, don't let nay-sayers (especially people who've never been obese in their lives) talk you out of it!

[dianemar 45]

On ‎4‎/‎2‎/‎2017 at 5:27 PM, Mandybb said:

Can I be honest? I said the same thing before my surgery, that I needed the restriction to lose weight so that's why I was getting surgery. Honestly my restriction is there, but you can cheat the system after surgery. Carbs do not fill up your tummy like Protein and you can slowly munch and graze every hour on high carb high fat food if you wanted. Some people don't have much restriction at all so be prepared that it might happen that way. You have to resist those foods and change your eating habits before surgery. That's why the preop diet comes in handy because it is a real reality of what your life will be like over the next few months. Why not just try low carb/sugar free (that's essentially the diet you will be on after surgery) while waiting for the surgery? See what it's like and make sure you are committed to this lifestyle change because temptation is unbelievable and you can slide so easy back into old habits without even realizing you've done it.

That being said, this was the best decision I've ever made even with the complications. I knew that I needed to save my life, and without this surgery giving me the kick in the butt to get it done, I would still be 255 lbs and hating my life.

Amen!! I was just saying this to someone, Surgery saved my life , (like an appendectomy) and helped me lose the weight that helped my borderline diabetes and High Blood Pressure. But as I can eat most anything, I still have to do the hard work of changing my 60+years of bad habits. No snacking , eating on schedule, sticking to a low carb diet, Getting my Proteins in. It is amazing how much food you can nibble and get in all day. You will be able to cheat , but you are just harming yourself. Take a good look at a lb of butter then look at the mirror and see how those lbs of butter look on you. It is worth sacrificing to get rid of them and one lb is worth it!!

[Julie norton 2,850]

My take is you need to be ready to change your life. That is a big undertaking.
The Wls kinda "guides" you .... however it is truly up to your personal compass how much you intend to stay focused on a different set of behaviors. A long term decision.
It is a learning curve to me. Ten years later I still have to try and make good choices.
No one is perfect.... and they shouldn't be.... but the willingness to give up the control food has on you is all your decision after the
" honeymoon " period.
Many are successful... especially compared to just dieting... but be realistic that you have to think and do differently .
Hoping for all the best!

[Hoping052017 97]

How did you decided to do WLS over diet. My parents want me to low carb it instead of WLS. I want WLS because I feel that I not cheat because my stomach will be restricted. Does that make sense? I need help in my decision. But, I also want my parents support.

I researched wls for years before deciding that was the route I wanted to go. I had many people disuade me many times telling me "you don't need surgery! Just eat less and exercise more!" My late husband actually forbade me from getting the surgery. Low carb diets always, always worked the best for me. The problem was I would always sabotage myself or wouldn't be able to stick to it for more than a few months and I ALWAYS cheated. After my husband died I decided to look into it again. The depression and anxiety and PTSD manifested in eating my feelings and I ballooned up to 310 from 265 in about a year's time. I talked to my mom about it (wls) again and she was still against it until I took her to a seminar at a hospital one night. After that she was on board with it.

The thing is, you have to remind yourself (and let your parents know) that wls isn't any easy way out of dieting. It's a tool. That's what convinced my mom. (Of course she had to hear it from a Dr before she'd believe me). I get my surgery date next week, but I attend a monthly support group meeting where I've met a lot of people who have all been through the procedure already and they ALL say the same thing. "It's not easy" it's hard work, but if you stick to the plan, you'll succeed and wish you had done it sooner.

Ultimately, it's you that has to make the decision. Don't let anyone talk you into or out of something that in your heart you know it's the best thing for you. Especially if you've been a yoyo dieter for years like I was. Wls is not a be all, cure all, but it is a great tool to meet your goals. I'm told that it's a great way to keep from cheating too because if you have a gastric bypass (Which is what I'm having) cheating will make you sick sick sick and you'll never want to cheat again[emoji1]

Good luck with whatever decision you make!

[maggieO 33]

I have a the perfectionism issue, I know how clich`e but it's true! I did every diet you can think of. Gained and lost, gained and lost... if I slipped up and had one cookie then the entire day was ruined and I would have the whole sleeve.

I understand that my behavior is illogical but for some reason I just keep finding myself there

[thatchbo 13]

On 4/2/2017 at 7:54 AM, ebe44 said:

How did you decided to do WLS over diet. My parents want me to low carb it instead of WLS. I want WLS because I feel that I not cheat because my stomach will be restricted. Does that make sense? I need help in my decision. But, I also want my parents support.

Well...I did both. I have done just about every single diet in the world and I might lose some weight but of course I never kept it off. I never lost a significant amount of weight. When I made the decision to have WLS, my surgeon wanted my BMI to be lower and said I needed to lose 25 lbs so I did low carb (Atkins) and I did lose 25 lbs and I lost about another 20 lbs before the surgery. However, I was able to stick to it because I KNEW I had a goal and needed to lose the weight for the surgery. Had I not, I'm sure that after 6 months or so, I would have grown tired of low-carb and gone back to my old ways and gained the weight back.

WLS not only helps you lose the weight - it helps you MAINTAIN it, which is something that doesn't occur with following a diet plan alone (in general).

My suggestion to you is to consider WLS, talk to a surgeon and your primary care doctor about it and in the meantime, follow a low-carb diet.

Good luck to you, whichever path you chose to take.