I feel lonely.....

[mandi78 3]

I had my surgery on Thursday (9/27) and while I'm glad I did it and I think it is the best thing I've ever done, I'm starting to feel sad and lonely. I'm sure part of this is the fact that I haven't left the house since I got home from surgery. Don't worry, I'm going back to work tomorrow. My life has revolved around food for so long. My social life always included food. When I go out with friends or to lunch with friends or family, it involves food....when DH and I have a date, it's to go eat or go to the movies and I always have to have popcorn.

How do I get past this? I know once I heal, we will be able to do more active outdoor type things which such as camping, hiking with our dogs, etc which I am really looking forward to. In the meantime, however, I feel like an invalid who can't eat and I'm bored and lonely and nobody really understands unless they have been through this. I always eat when I'm bored and lonely....ALWAYS. I feel like I don't have anybody to talk to about it because nobody I know personally understands what its like for food to be your best friend and then to basically lose it. I knew this would probably happen but I guess I wasn't as prepared as I thought I would be. Any suggestions?

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

The first month is awful, at least it was for me. The emotional ups and downs and the mega emotional roller coaster is horrible. But it will pass. When you start considering having your band removed just know that you are progressing normally! HA! It's true, lots of people reconsider their band AFTER they have it.

What you are feeling is normal. Replace food with an activity. Go walking, you need to exercise anyway and walking is GREAT after surgery. Instead of exercising by moving your hand from your plate to your mouth, move your legs and walk around the block. It will do wonders for weight loss and then you can do all the things you've been wanting to do.

Just keep remembering, what you are feeling is normal and it WILL pass!!!

Good luck to you and your new journey!

[Jachut 487]

That first month is hard when you're on such a restricted diet.

But long term, my social life involves food as much as it ever did. That's our culture to a large degree. I still enjoy it. I just eat less of it than I once did.

I used to do things like think "Oh, I'm going out for dinner so I will start my diet tomorrow". Then I'd stuff my face with junk all afternoon as a last fling. Then tomorrow would never come.

Now I just think "oh, I'm going out for dinner". Doesnt matter where it is or what it is, dinner is a moderate affair that doesnt derail my weight control efforts.

Living life with a band really is not limiting at all after you've healed up and returned to a normal diet.

[DonHoll1 0]

Get up and get active. It always makes me feel better when i am down. Whenever i am blue i go to the gym or go hiking. It really helps. Donna

[OH Juli 15]

Like the others said, the first month is hard.

After that though, you'll be back at the restaurants and the movies. You'll just not be eating like you used to and you really won't care. Actually you'll be proud not to be eating like you used to.

So, come here and share your thoughts and frustrataions...we get it.

[Candle 11]

In addition to all the stuff going on in your head - TRUST ME, I'm right there with you ... it could be the anesthesia. It stays in your system for up to 2 weeks. For some people it can cause a slight depression.

You've just made a MAJOR life change - you are allowed to feel the way you do right now. You are completely normal and it will pass.

[luv2laugh 0]

I had my surgery on Thursday (9/27) and while I'm glad I did it and I think it is the best thing I've ever done, I'm starting to feel sad and lonely. I'm sure part of this is the fact that I haven't left the house since I got home from surgery... My life has revolved around food for so long. My social life always included food. When I go out with friends or to lunch with friends or family, it involves food....when DH and I have a date, it's to go eat or go to the movies and I always have to have popcorn.

How do I get past this? I know once I heal, we will be able to do more active outdoor type things which such as camping, hiking with our dogs, etc which I am really looking forward to. In the meantime, however, I feel like an invalid who can't eat and I'm bored and lonely and nobody really understands unless they have been through this. I always eat when I'm bored and lonely....ALWAYS. I feel like I don't have anybody to talk to about it because nobody I know personally understands what its like for food to be your best friend and then to basically lose it. I knew this would probably happen but I guess I wasn't as prepared as I thought I would be. Any suggestions?

Hi Mandi,

I had my surgery the day before you and today I was feeling sad too. I guess it's nice to hear I'm not alone. I thought I was crazy to feel sad when I should be ecstatic that I finally had it done! But being on the liquid diet and having NOTHING to chew (man do I look forward to my chewable vitamins!!), and also being stuck in the house was starting to give me lots of time to think. I am writing my feelings down in a journal, and when I have my next psych appt, I will bring it with me. (I never know what to say in there usually!) No more stuffing my feelings down with food - so I guess they all come bubbling to the surface....

Being Italian my world also revolves around food. I'm very apprehensive about the holidays coming up - halloween/t-day/xmas... It's going to be quite strange to sit around the table for 6 hours on xmas day and only eat 6 ounces of food!

I have had to rethink how I am in social settings - at a party while I was on the "pre-op" diet, I sat around the pool instead of the picnic table where all the good munchies were. I knew I would mindlessly eat the chips/dip, etc if I was in arms reach. So with a little planning and extra thought - I know we can get through this!

And - when your spirits get low - pat yourself on the back and know your are not alone and in the next few months it should get easier... and in no time we will be a much healthier, smaller version of ourselves!!

Brenda

[washinginwa 0]

This is a tough time, but it passes really quickly! I stopped watching TV for about month because I couldn't stand all the food advertisments(everything looked so good). Instead, I walked twice a day and went to work and I went to bed early. Nights were the hardest/lonest time.

Pretty soon you'll see and feel your weigh loss and food isn't the most important thing in your life.

GIVE IT TIME-I PROMISE IT WILL GET BETTER.

Connie

[Mscas3 0]

I a scheduled for October 30th and I am full of so many emotions. I am so glad I joined in to this site. You all are so wonderful to give your support. It is great to know it will get better even if it may first have to get a little more worst. Hang in there and feel good about your new life.

[cookielover 1]

Mandi-

I was banded on Oct 3rd and I can totally relate to what you are saying. My plan of action for the next month is to live one day at a time. I know it sounds stupid but hear me out: when I wake up in the morning I think that today is the first day that I have been doing my new lifestyle change. When I go to bed...I think to myself that tomorrow is the last day of the new change. By doing this I never have to think of the whole month. I know it sounds crazy but it got me through the post-op diet, and it is getting me through the next month. I stay positive by looking at the before and after pixs on this web-site. I stay focused on my goal...food will always be there, hopefully there will be less of me when we meet up in the future.

[sawdust 0]

Hi. Mandi banded sept 24 know how your feeling been there done that bought the tee shirt dont want to do it again I just keep imaging not wearing a size 22 and I get through 1 day at a time keep your chin up and know this to will pass. good luck

[jlove69 0]

I haven't had my surgey yet but I would think sitting around in the house for a long time would make anyone sad.

If you can walk, go to the mall and look at all of the clothes you will be able to buy next summer. Think positive. I LOVE my Lane Bryant, I worked there for 5 years, but I can't wait to be able to shop anywhere!

You did the right thing. Change just gets getting used to..............

OK someone keep this to send me after I have my surgery. Easier said than done, I know.

Jen