I'm a little ticked, and in need of advice.

[queendeborahbee 119]

My Mom told a few family members I would have never told, why? So negative. Both mentioned it, one told me they had a friend and she was miserable after the surgery and the other said it's too bad you couldn't lose it on your own! Seriously[emoji15]

[LittleLizzieLilliput 919]

I'm of two minds on this one:

#1 and most important, your journey. I understand wanting to be private about it but my concern is it becomes yet another secret we keep. And that can turn toxic. I thought long and hard about how I would deal with this aspect of my process and I personally decided on full disclosure because I didn't want any of this process to be something I hid. That was a choice I made to emotionally protect myself in the long run. I knew I'd want to hide and conceal and those are behaviors based in shame for me (I was a secret eater). What I am hoping is that you take this opportunity to just live as freely and happily as you can.

#2, breaking your trust. That is the second issue. The first issue is about you and your best mindset for success and happiness. The second issue is about someone not respecting your wishes and breaking your trust. And yes, IMO, you should speak with her about this. I'd keep it as light as possible but I would express to her your feelings. (if she's a reasonable person. If she's one of those combative angry people that are just rude and aggressive regardless, then DON'T confront her, it won't ever matter what you feel or think. That's the lesson I've learned with people like that. Better to keep them as far away as possible.) Let her know that when you asked to keep it private that is what you meant and that you may be skipping the family event as a result. I've been very clear with people, this is my journey for my health and future, I get to decide how this journey goes, nobody else.

Good luck!! I hope you can move past this. My mom told me a few months after the surgery "it's like you are peeling away all those bad layers on an onion". I had to explain to her that I am still that onion, the only thing that is changing about me is how OTHERS perceive me. I am still the same person I was before, just a smaller pant size and different eating habits. If you talk poorly about that old me, you are talking poorly about ME to ME. lol! Everyone else's perception of us change, we need to assert our on personal needs and rules. Part of how I got to this point is allowing people to hurt me or be mean so now I have to make sure assert myself to protect myself. Cause I don't have food to go to anymore when I can't deal with my feelings. So now I make the people who gave me bad feelings deal with them instead. lol!!!