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What to tell people?



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I'm being sleeved on 19th April - I've told mum, my sister, Hubble and 1 friend. It is something really private that I don't feel comfortable telling people but I don't want to glibly say 'eating less and exercising' and perpetuating myth that will result in weight loss. Any suggestions for something vague but not dishonest to tell people?


My theory is tell them what you want them to know. This is your body, your choice. Period.
Best of luck!
My date is April 19, 2017.


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Everyone is different. I was quite worried about this as well prior to my surgery and I decided on telling non-insider friends/family that I had Acid Reflux surgery as it sounded like it would fit into it. Then, that I just decided to take advantage of the surgery and become healthier with Portion Control.

However, I am a talker and it didn't take long before I was telling most everyone who asked. I'm not ashamed of it at all anymore (was cautious for a while). It's been a huge positive in my life and I actually encourage others who struggle with weight and have real health issues to look into it as well.

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2 hours ago, PlzCoolerMe said:

Everyone is different. I was quite worried about this as well prior to my surgery and I decided on telling non-insider friends/family that I had Acid Reflux surgery as it sounded like it would fit into it. Then, that I just decided to take advantage of the surgery and become healthier with Portion Control.

However, I am a talker and it didn't take long before I was telling most everyone who asked. I'm not ashamed of it at all anymore (was cautious for a while). It's been a huge positive in my life and I actually encourage others who struggle with weight and have real health issues to look into it as well.

That what niece doing but she still not telling everyone she said telling ones that is struggle with weight and have real health issues to look into it as well and I wanted you to know that is very good of you

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On 3/31/2017 at 2:20 AM, browneyesdebra said:

Only people that know I'm having surgery is my daughter sister -in-law niece and best friend and she passed away March 23,2017 and like she said I'm going tell them I'm working closely with my doctors to improve my health and I change my eating habits

So sorry for your loss

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So far I've received a lot of support from basically everyone I told. My mother is the only one that disappointed me with some of her questions. And...because she's at an age when she forgets we had to go through it more than once.
I told my bosses who were 100% supportive and told me to work from home as much as I needed to get back to full strength.
I'm flying my sister in to be with me for the surgery and first several days post op. She's been very supportive and will be a great help.
I haven't decided what to say to other people who ask so I appreciate reading the feedback here. The biggest reaction I'm expecting is from my football buddies. The last time they saw me in November was at my highest weight. I'm set for my sleeve in May and expect that I'll be down a very noticeable amount come labor day weekend (already down 30 lbs).

Sent from my SM-G920V using BariatricPal mobile app

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I too was worried about what people would think as well, however I decided I was done hiding my feelings and my truth.

I was blessed to tell a few people who had either had the surgery or knew someone that had the surgery. People will always judge, however no one is walking in my shoes, but me.

It is so freeing to just speak my truth. That said, I tell people the truth 95% of time and most people are supportive. I also set ground rules with others, keep your opinion to yourself and I will as well - however if you don't, I won't.

Going to support group has helped me tell my story. This is an amazing change that is life transforming. I'm not hiding this blessing...

Oh by the way.... I've lost 135lbs in 5.5months. This is not a secret method of gall bladder surgery or carb limitations. Own your story.

Then, be ready to help the next person. Your favorite store for clothes will notice you buying clothes, dropping sizes, etc....

If you must keep the silence, at least create an environment somewhere that you can be free. How long have we all been hiding our pain ice cream, Cookies, big clothes, bad attitudes, tears, etc....




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4 hours ago, JenH76 said:

We have the same surgery date!!!


Very exciting!! Start 2 week pre-op diet this week - stressed about that! But can't wait to get my life back on track. Best of luck 😊

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I've really only had one person that reacted quasi-negatively ("If that's what you want, I guess it's ok." and, "I couldn't do that, I want to lose the weight on my own.").
I think WLS is definitely becoming less stigmatized, especially here in the Midwest, where all the fat people live. :lol:


"I want to lose weight on my own"????
Like someone else is losing it for you??[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]you're still doing all the work!


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Very true - this is a tool. You still have to learn what to eat, how to prepare it, when to eat it, the right combinations, etc.

Anybody that says this is the easy way out is not connected. Anybody that says it's all about the surgery needs more education.

My perspective do this for you and you alone. No kids, no spouse, no family or friends. Now if they all support you that is great but this has to be a personal commitment to change your life. "SAVE YOUR LIFE"

Tell or don't tell - but get thick skin so the comments of others become irrelevant because you are changing your life!!! For the better!!


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Very true - this is a tool. You still have to learn what to eat, how to prepare it, when to eat it, the right combinations, etc.

Anybody that says this is the easy way out is not connected. Anybody that says it's all about the surgery needs more education.

My perspective do this for you and you alone. No kids, no spouse, no family or friends. Now if they all support you that is great but this has to be a personal commitment to change your life. "SAVE YOUR LIFE"

Tell or don't tell - but get thick skin so the comments of others become irrelevant because you are changing your life!!! For the better!!




I agree with you 1000%. It has to be a personal commitment. We got ourselves where we're at. So it's up to ourselves to work hard and get where we want. I'm currently on a liquid diet and my husband wanted to go out to eat. I told him to not feel bad. I made this choice myself and I need to have to stay strong and not give in to temptations if I want to be successful. I sipped on broth as they ate food. I was ok. It did smell good though. lol but I was just fine. Good luck on your journey!


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Very true - this is a tool. You still have to learn what to eat, how to prepare it, when to eat it, the right combinations, etc.

Anybody that says this is the easy way out is not connected. Anybody that says it's all about the surgery needs more education.

My perspective do this for you and you alone. No kids, no spouse, no family or friends. Now if they all support you that is great but this has to be a personal commitment to change your life. "SAVE YOUR LIFE"

Tell or don't tell - but get thick skin so the comments of others become irrelevant because you are changing your life!!! For the better!!


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I agree with you 1000%. It has to be a personal commitment. We got ourselves where we're at. So it's up to ourselves to work hard and get where we want. I'm currently on a liquid diet and my husband wanted to go out to eat. I told him to not feel bad. I made this choice myself and I need to have to stay strong and not give in to temptations if I want to be successful. I sipped on broth as they ate food. I was ok. It did smell good though. lol but I was just fine. Good luck on your journey!



It is a balanced approach. Earlier I took my family out to eat. I had my food scale on the table, broiled fish, broccoli, salad... To those at the beginning - you will eat out again, however it must be clean eating (no oil, no butter, etc). My family is ready to go way before me, but we are in this together. So the kids get to color and I get to finish my meal.

The time will come for you to try new things. Stay strong as you are... [emoji122][emoji122][emoji122]


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Very exciting!! Start 2 week pre-op diet this week - stressed about that! But can't wait to get my life back on track. Best of luck [emoji4]

I meet with my surgeon Tuesday. I'm sure she'll start my 2 week diet then. I'm excited, nervous and can't wait to start my new life. I'm looking forward to shopping at Forever 21[emoji6] And wearing a bathing suit in our family vacation this summer.



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